1 00:00:10,246 --> 00:00:14,239 I just hope it doesn't cause any permanent damage. 2 00:00:19,656 --> 00:00:23,854 - How long have you been here? - A while. 3 00:00:25,762 --> 00:00:28,560 - You missed your prom? - Yeah. 4 00:00:34,571 --> 00:00:37,972 The thing is, when I made that bet... 5 00:00:38,509 --> 00:00:42,639 There he is. It's Freddie. He's wearing a tux. 6 00:00:42,846 --> 00:00:45,406 - What's up? - Yes. 7 00:00:45,616 --> 00:00:47,481 I met a whole other person inside of you. 8 00:00:47,684 --> 00:00:50,209 - Inside both of us. - Shut up. 9 00:00:50,420 --> 00:00:52,581 I would've never found that person inside of me... 10 00:00:52,789 --> 00:00:54,882 ...if it weren't for the person inside of you. 11 00:00:55,092 --> 00:00:57,117 That's sweet. 12 00:00:57,327 --> 00:00:59,091 The whole other person inside of me... 13 00:00:59,297 --> 00:01:02,460 ...thinks that the whole other person inside of you has come a long way. 14 00:01:02,667 --> 00:01:06,694 So would the whole other person inside of you like to dance? 15 00:01:40,839 --> 00:01:42,500 Yes. 16 00:01:43,642 --> 00:01:46,110 - Morning, sweetie! - Daddy! 17 00:01:46,478 --> 00:01:49,140 - Why are you in here? - Why am I in here? 18 00:01:49,415 --> 00:01:51,315 It's her birthday, Dad. 19 00:01:51,550 --> 00:01:54,178 Happy birthday, sweetie. 20 00:01:57,489 --> 00:02:01,687 - What's that buzzing sound? - I just need a minute here. 21 00:02:01,927 --> 00:02:03,861 Maybe it's that construction. 22 00:02:04,196 --> 00:02:06,323 Where's my little angel? 23 00:02:06,565 --> 00:02:08,157 Happy birthday, honey. 24 00:02:08,434 --> 00:02:09,594 Grandma? Grandpa? 25 00:02:09,835 --> 00:02:11,234 Rosco! 26 00:02:14,573 --> 00:02:16,564 Rosco, go. 27 00:02:17,343 --> 00:02:19,437 - Hello. - Father O'Flannagan? 28 00:02:19,679 --> 00:02:22,705 I brought your special friends from the center! 29 00:02:22,916 --> 00:02:25,612 - Happy birthday! - Janey's making faces. 30 00:02:25,852 --> 00:02:27,410 It smells in here. 31 00:02:27,621 --> 00:02:29,521 Okay, make a wish, dear. 32 00:02:30,523 --> 00:02:31,683 No. 33 00:02:55,482 --> 00:02:57,882 This isn't a typical high school. 34 00:02:58,118 --> 00:03:02,715 At John Hughes, there are no cliques, no exclusive social groups. 35 00:03:02,957 --> 00:03:06,393 You're accepted for you, not who you hang out with. 36 00:03:06,627 --> 00:03:10,757 We'll divide into groups so you can get to know your peers. 37 00:03:10,998 --> 00:03:14,263 Let's get all you jocks in one group... 38 00:03:14,502 --> 00:03:17,994 ...and get you slutty girls over here by me. 39 00:03:18,239 --> 00:03:20,469 Hey, how you doing? Welcome. 40 00:03:20,708 --> 00:03:23,506 You losers should hang out in the back. 41 00:03:23,744 --> 00:03:27,271 That clearly includes you. Come on, get back there. 42 00:03:27,515 --> 00:03:30,279 Take a look at the kid standing beside you. 43 00:03:32,520 --> 00:03:35,546 They're your only friends for the next four years. 44 00:03:35,790 --> 00:03:38,020 Okay, let's move it, people! 45 00:03:48,637 --> 00:03:52,368 - You need to start dating. - I don't date. You know that. 46 00:03:52,607 --> 00:03:54,404 Janey, you know Dad's rule. 47 00:03:54,643 --> 00:03:56,474 I can't have sex before you. 48 00:03:56,712 --> 00:03:59,909 I don't conform to typical high-school norms. 49 00:04:00,148 --> 00:04:04,482 I read Sylvia Plath, listen to Bikini Kill and eat tofu. 50 00:04:04,720 --> 00:04:08,156 - I'm a unique rebel. - More like you're a lesbo. 51 00:04:08,390 --> 00:04:10,790 Mitch, leave your sister alone. 52 00:04:11,026 --> 00:04:12,391 Thank you, Daddy. 53 00:04:12,627 --> 00:04:16,996 If Janey wants to be a rug-muncher, that's her decision. 54 00:04:19,035 --> 00:04:21,333 Go! Fight! Win! 55 00:04:23,639 --> 00:04:25,266 All right! 56 00:04:27,343 --> 00:04:29,868 Nice combination, Crissy! 57 00:04:34,884 --> 00:04:37,853 I've been meaning to get that fixed. 58 00:04:38,287 --> 00:04:39,879 Later, Dad. 59 00:04:40,356 --> 00:04:41,721 Hey. 60 00:04:41,924 --> 00:04:44,154 I'll be late to pick you up. 61 00:04:44,394 --> 00:04:46,328 Why? A job interview? 62 00:04:46,562 --> 00:04:49,998 No, honey. I'll probably just be way too drunk. 63 00:04:50,233 --> 00:04:52,758 That's good. No drinking and driving. 64 00:04:53,002 --> 00:04:56,836 Oh, I'll be driving. I'll just be too drunk to remember. 65 00:04:57,473 --> 00:04:59,567 Okay. Bye, Daddy. 66 00:05:00,177 --> 00:05:01,872 Bye, pumpkin-head. 67 00:05:07,418 --> 00:05:09,886 - Oh, my God! - Get out of the road! 68 00:05:28,205 --> 00:05:31,106 Oh, my God, it's Jake. 69 00:05:31,875 --> 00:05:34,469 - Hi, stud. - Hi, Jake. 70 00:05:34,711 --> 00:05:38,545 - I love that thing with his eyebrows. - Those sideburns. 71 00:05:38,782 --> 00:05:42,844 Oh, my God, there's Jake. He's so popular. 72 00:05:43,421 --> 00:05:44,945 He just looked at me. 73 00:05:45,190 --> 00:05:47,818 - Here. You can keep it. - Tiff. 74 00:05:48,059 --> 00:05:50,755 Hi, Jake. It's all wet. 75 00:05:51,129 --> 00:05:52,756 Melanie. 76 00:05:52,997 --> 00:05:54,988 Hey, Jake. 77 00:05:55,233 --> 00:05:57,428 Hey, Arthur. 78 00:06:05,276 --> 00:06:08,268 Here's Ricky! 79 00:06:08,513 --> 00:06:10,504 Hey, Ricky. How was your weekend? 80 00:06:11,516 --> 00:06:15,384 Friday night I stood outside your window in the raln... 81 00:06:15,620 --> 00:06:17,178 ...screaming your name. 82 00:06:17,822 --> 00:06:21,554 Then I spent Saturday and Sunday making you this great... 83 00:06:21,794 --> 00:06:26,026 ...I've-been-desperately-trying- to-tell-you-that... 84 00:06:26,265 --> 00:06:28,563 ...I'm-madly-in-love-with-you... 85 00:06:28,801 --> 00:06:30,826 ...mix tape for your birthday. 86 00:06:31,070 --> 00:06:34,369 A mix tape? That's so sweet, Ricky. 87 00:06:35,875 --> 00:06:37,900 See you in English. 88 00:06:40,913 --> 00:06:43,074 Catch you guy later. 89 00:06:45,885 --> 00:06:47,750 What happening? 90 00:06:47,987 --> 00:06:51,445 Damn, Shorty, Dog is pretending to be Asian and shit. 91 00:06:51,690 --> 00:06:56,423 That cracker is white! Can't he see that, yo? 92 00:06:56,662 --> 00:06:59,359 Did you get any action this weekend? 93 00:06:59,599 --> 00:07:03,194 - I visit grandfather. - I played with my sisters. 94 00:07:03,436 --> 00:07:04,767 We're pathetic. 95 00:07:05,005 --> 00:07:08,668 How will we ever lose our virginity by graduation? 96 00:07:08,909 --> 00:07:11,605 - We're freshmen. - What's with the attitude? 97 00:07:11,845 --> 00:07:15,440 - Not easy to get lucky here. - Girls are sensitive. 98 00:07:15,682 --> 00:07:19,778 They're not looking for sex. They're looking for love. 99 00:07:20,020 --> 00:07:22,454 Fuck me! Harder! 100 00:07:29,596 --> 00:07:31,757 Amanda Becker. 101 00:07:32,566 --> 00:07:36,093 She is so perfect. 102 00:07:46,213 --> 00:07:47,339 Keep dreaming. 103 00:07:48,215 --> 00:07:49,910 What's up, Reggie Ray? 104 00:07:50,117 --> 00:07:52,813 I can't walt until Friday's game. 105 00:07:53,020 --> 00:07:56,922 What about your head? You have a blood clot the size of a grapefruit. 106 00:07:57,124 --> 00:08:01,151 Five more concussions and you'll die. You should take it easy. 107 00:08:01,796 --> 00:08:04,959 - Don't listen to him. - Austin. 108 00:08:05,232 --> 00:08:09,999 Mr. Not-First-String-Anymore isn't first-string anymore. 109 00:08:11,973 --> 00:08:14,737 We know what happened last time Jake called the plays. 110 00:08:14,942 --> 00:08:17,877 And now, our hometown hero... 111 00:08:18,079 --> 00:08:21,675 ...first-string quarterback, Jake Wyler! 112 00:08:21,883 --> 00:08:25,341 Malik, could you hold these books? 113 00:08:25,554 --> 00:08:28,352 Sure. Why not? I am the token black guy. 114 00:08:28,557 --> 00:08:31,025 I smile, stay out of the conversation... 115 00:08:31,226 --> 00:08:36,664 ...and say things like, "Damn," "Shit," and, "That is wack!" 116 00:08:53,348 --> 00:08:57,182 What's she doing here? She graduated four years ago. 117 00:08:58,887 --> 00:09:00,822 - Hi, Jake. - Catherine. 118 00:09:01,057 --> 00:09:02,649 Can I ask you a question? 119 00:09:02,892 --> 00:09:06,191 Why is it when I tell a guy to put it anywhere... 120 00:09:06,429 --> 00:09:09,398 ...they always stick it in my ass? - Damn! 121 00:09:09,632 --> 00:09:11,725 Way too much information. 122 00:09:11,968 --> 00:09:16,302 Oh, no. Too much information would be telling you... 123 00:09:16,539 --> 00:09:19,474 ...that after they're done I take a huge dump. 124 00:09:19,709 --> 00:09:21,677 Shit! 125 00:09:23,446 --> 00:09:24,572 On thelr chest. 126 00:09:24,914 --> 00:09:27,348 Oh, that is wack! 127 00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:46,128 Why do hot girls always walk in slow motion? 128 00:09:52,509 --> 00:09:54,807 Priscilla, there you are. 129 00:09:55,012 --> 00:09:58,504 Jake, I need some T-to-the-fourth-power-Y. 130 00:09:59,883 --> 00:10:02,750 Some time to talk to you. 131 00:10:05,022 --> 00:10:06,284 God. 132 00:10:07,791 --> 00:10:10,692 It made sense to me, Priscilla. 133 00:10:22,207 --> 00:10:24,505 You're leaving me for this guy? 134 00:10:24,743 --> 00:10:28,372 I'm sorry, Jake. We met over spring break. 135 00:10:31,616 --> 00:10:34,346 I'm not ordinary. 136 00:10:34,586 --> 00:10:37,054 You're leaving me for this guy? 137 00:10:37,288 --> 00:10:39,279 His name is Les... 138 00:10:39,524 --> 00:10:44,086 ...and he's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. 139 00:10:45,930 --> 00:10:47,727 And so is his bag. 140 00:11:18,063 --> 00:11:23,023 Janey Briggs, please report to the office. 141 00:11:26,305 --> 00:11:29,240 Belng a forelgn-exchange student is scary... 142 00:11:29,475 --> 00:11:32,205 ...adjusting to a new school, a new country. 143 00:11:32,444 --> 00:11:36,107 But you'll find that the students are very accepting. 144 00:11:40,921 --> 00:11:43,287 You have a sunny disposition. 145 00:11:45,525 --> 00:11:46,719 You got your schedule? 146 00:11:56,069 --> 00:11:58,469 Well, isn't that wonderful? 147 00:11:58,905 --> 00:12:00,065 Janey, come in. 148 00:12:00,340 --> 00:12:03,798 This is Areola, our forelgn-exchange student. 149 00:12:04,010 --> 00:12:06,911 Janey will show you to your first class. 150 00:12:08,014 --> 00:12:09,504 Hi. 151 00:12:15,488 --> 00:12:18,389 - I like your backpack. - Grazie. 152 00:12:22,530 --> 00:12:27,229 Dude, I heard there's an undercover reporter posing as a student. 153 00:12:27,468 --> 00:12:29,493 Dude, no way, dude. 154 00:12:29,737 --> 00:12:33,366 Do you know where Mr. Keller's English class is? 155 00:12:33,574 --> 00:12:36,941 - Down the hall, on your left. - Sweet, dude. 156 00:12:37,678 --> 00:12:41,546 For the thousandth time, I sald, "Swallow that thing." 157 00:12:41,782 --> 00:12:43,545 Am I right? 158 00:12:47,521 --> 00:12:51,116 How could Priscilla dump me, Jake Wyler? 159 00:12:51,359 --> 00:12:53,293 Who does she think she is? 160 00:12:53,527 --> 00:12:55,757 I got two words for you, Jake: 161 00:12:56,030 --> 00:12:59,522 Prom queen, material. 162 00:13:00,402 --> 00:13:02,632 Austin, she's an illusion. 163 00:13:02,871 --> 00:13:06,136 You take away the makeup, the clothes... 164 00:13:06,375 --> 00:13:10,243 ...the way she wears her hair, the smell of her perfume... 165 00:13:10,479 --> 00:13:14,575 ...that cute face she makes when she's tonguing my balls... 166 00:13:16,485 --> 00:13:18,316 Look, she's replaceable. 167 00:13:18,520 --> 00:13:21,648 Given the right look, the right boyfriend... 168 00:13:21,890 --> 00:13:25,326 ...any girl could be prom queen. - I smell a bet. 169 00:13:25,560 --> 00:13:28,188 Jakey, Jakey, about to make a big... 170 00:13:28,430 --> 00:13:30,557 ...mistakey. 171 00:13:30,799 --> 00:13:34,257 Here's the wager: I'll pick the most hopeless girl at this school... 172 00:13:34,469 --> 00:13:37,836 ...and I'll bet that you can't turn her into prom queen. 173 00:13:38,040 --> 00:13:39,941 You're on, Austin. 174 00:13:40,143 --> 00:13:42,077 I'll bet you lose that bet... 175 00:13:42,312 --> 00:13:45,839 ...but learn a much more valuable lesson and win. 176 00:13:46,115 --> 00:13:48,015 In life, that is. 177 00:13:48,785 --> 00:13:50,446 You're both on. 178 00:13:50,687 --> 00:13:52,052 All right. 179 00:13:52,288 --> 00:13:56,884 Let's find you a prom queen, Mr. Let's-Find-Me-A-Prom-Queen. 180 00:13:57,593 --> 00:14:01,359 So, Areola, I noticed your accent keeps changing. 181 00:14:01,831 --> 00:14:03,025 Where are you from? 182 00:14:03,232 --> 00:14:04,494 I cannot tell you that... 183 00:14:04,701 --> 00:14:06,999 ...because I am a generic forelgn-exchange student... 184 00:14:07,203 --> 00:14:10,036 ...whose country of origin is of little importance. 185 00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:12,701 Well, have fun in chemistry. 186 00:14:12,909 --> 00:14:15,673 Rightio, love. See you at teatime. 187 00:14:19,984 --> 00:14:21,281 What about her? 188 00:14:21,485 --> 00:14:23,715 Baby's got back. Hunch, that is. 189 00:14:23,921 --> 00:14:26,913 No, way too easy. 190 00:14:27,124 --> 00:14:31,151 - I have no pigment - Any girl with a guitar is hot. 191 00:14:31,362 --> 00:14:32,989 I need sunscreen 192 00:14:33,197 --> 00:14:36,428 Even a hippie albino. She could be prom queen. 193 00:14:36,633 --> 00:14:38,760 What about the Fratelli sisters? 194 00:14:39,803 --> 00:14:42,567 So they're slightly disfigured and connected. 195 00:14:42,773 --> 00:14:46,834 But combined, those two make up one pretty decent chick. 196 00:14:47,077 --> 00:14:49,204 - I'd do them! - I know, Reggie Ray. 197 00:14:49,446 --> 00:14:52,745 I'm looking for somebody really messed up. 198 00:14:52,983 --> 00:14:56,817 I'm talking about a real shitbomb. 199 00:15:00,258 --> 00:15:03,750 Well, bombs away. 200 00:15:04,396 --> 00:15:08,856 No, no, no, anyone but her! Not Janey Briggs. 201 00:15:09,601 --> 00:15:12,661 Guys, she's got glasses and a ponytalI. 202 00:15:12,904 --> 00:15:16,635 She's got palnt on her overalls! What is that? 203 00:15:16,841 --> 00:15:19,742 There's no way she could be prom queen. 204 00:15:19,978 --> 00:15:22,412 Damn, that shit's wack. 205 00:15:23,848 --> 00:15:25,509 alm for the head! 206 00:15:40,332 --> 00:15:42,960 Can you imagine what they do in there? 207 00:15:43,169 --> 00:15:44,636 Holy cow. 208 00:15:44,870 --> 00:15:48,169 Guys, get your heads out of the gutter. 209 00:15:48,441 --> 00:15:51,467 It's a locker room. It's no sexier in there... 210 00:15:51,710 --> 00:15:53,371 ...than it is in here. 211 00:15:53,579 --> 00:15:57,174 Molly, can you help me take off my panties? 212 00:15:57,716 --> 00:16:00,617 Hold on, I've got lotion on my hands. 213 00:16:00,853 --> 00:16:03,913 That's okay. You can just use your mouth. 214 00:16:12,198 --> 00:16:13,688 Thanks, Miss Peters. 215 00:16:14,233 --> 00:16:15,393 So... 216 00:16:15,634 --> 00:16:19,468 ...who would like to share thelr poem with the class? 217 00:16:21,808 --> 00:16:24,800 Mr. Keller? Over here. Right here. Please. 218 00:16:25,045 --> 00:16:27,036 - Anyone? - Mr. Keller! 219 00:16:28,448 --> 00:16:32,646 - I'm not sure we should be doing this. - Quiet. I hear them. 220 00:16:32,853 --> 00:16:36,084 Hey, I found a buffalo nickel! 221 00:16:41,294 --> 00:16:42,727 This is gonna be good. 222 00:16:43,430 --> 00:16:45,091 I think I see nipple. 223 00:16:45,298 --> 00:16:47,391 You think we should let them know we're up here? 224 00:16:47,601 --> 00:16:50,229 Hey, Molly, the hot water's not working on my shower. 225 00:16:50,437 --> 00:16:53,099 - Mind if I share yours? - Not at all, Christy. 226 00:16:53,306 --> 00:16:55,274 But we're gonna have to get real close. 227 00:16:55,475 --> 00:16:59,809 Okay. How about I press up agalnst your back? 228 00:17:00,982 --> 00:17:04,748 Man, it is hot in here. 229 00:17:06,154 --> 00:17:08,554 I gotta take off my shirt. 230 00:17:09,724 --> 00:17:10,748 What? 231 00:17:11,359 --> 00:17:12,986 Doesn't even have to rhyme. 232 00:17:13,828 --> 00:17:16,797 Doesn't even have to be a poem. 233 00:17:16,998 --> 00:17:18,158 Please pick me. I'm the one. 234 00:17:18,366 --> 00:17:19,663 Yes... 235 00:17:20,201 --> 00:17:21,668 ...Ricky. 236 00:17:30,244 --> 00:17:33,839 - "Ten Things I Love About Janey." - Oh, not agaln. 237 00:17:34,081 --> 00:17:35,514 By Ricky Lipman. 238 00:17:36,817 --> 00:17:41,517 I love it when Janey talks I love it when Janey walks 239 00:17:41,757 --> 00:17:45,989 I love it when Janey drinks I love it when Janey blinks 240 00:17:46,461 --> 00:17:49,089 I love it when Janey says hi 241 00:17:49,331 --> 00:17:53,199 I love it when Janey says "See you in English" 242 00:17:56,905 --> 00:18:00,238 I love sitting next to Janey in class 243 00:18:00,442 --> 00:18:06,347 I love staring into Janey's window At 1465 South Pass 244 00:18:07,482 --> 00:18:10,508 I love following Janey to the mall 245 00:18:13,922 --> 00:18:15,583 And I love 246 00:18:15,824 --> 00:18:20,262 Collecting strands of Janey's hair 247 00:18:20,563 --> 00:18:26,524 And rolling them up Into little Janey hairballs 248 00:18:37,680 --> 00:18:42,640 Thank you, Ricky, for that interesting poem. 249 00:18:43,519 --> 00:18:46,852 I can't believe what we just did, Molly. 250 00:18:47,056 --> 00:18:52,892 It was a once-in-a-lifetime experience that will never happen agaln. 251 00:18:53,096 --> 00:18:54,461 I don't know about you guys... 252 00:18:54,664 --> 00:18:57,997 ...but I am really proud of Christy and Molly. 253 00:18:58,668 --> 00:19:00,637 We're going back. 254 00:19:03,040 --> 00:19:06,100 - Put on my shirt. - I'm trying to get mine. 255 00:19:16,253 --> 00:19:17,515 Jackpot. 256 00:19:17,988 --> 00:19:21,082 Girl go pee-pee not what I want to see-see. 257 00:19:21,292 --> 00:19:22,384 I agree-gree. 258 00:19:22,626 --> 00:19:26,460 Would you two please try and be a little open-minded? 259 00:19:26,664 --> 00:19:32,398 Class, let's open our books and continue with our poetry lesson. 260 00:19:32,603 --> 00:19:35,094 You know what I think about poetry? 261 00:19:37,908 --> 00:19:41,072 Oh, is that amusing? 262 00:19:41,646 --> 00:19:45,082 Is that what your generation considers humor? 263 00:19:52,590 --> 00:19:56,117 - This make me kind of happy in pants. - Yeah? 264 00:20:01,666 --> 00:20:02,792 Goodness. 265 00:20:03,301 --> 00:20:06,737 That make me kind of sad in pants. 266 00:20:07,639 --> 00:20:11,336 Shakespeare, Moliere... 267 00:20:11,576 --> 00:20:13,441 ...Oscar Wilde. 268 00:20:13,678 --> 00:20:15,339 These were humorists. 269 00:20:18,116 --> 00:20:19,174 I'm gonna be sick. 270 00:20:20,853 --> 00:20:25,290 The sublime poetic genius of a clever turn of phrase. 271 00:20:25,524 --> 00:20:27,424 That is true comedy. 272 00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:29,592 Heavens to Betsy. 273 00:20:31,664 --> 00:20:37,193 Your modern, moronic, feeble-minded, sophomoric excuse for wit... 274 00:20:39,905 --> 00:20:42,339 ...is merely a parade of nasty... 275 00:20:43,809 --> 00:20:45,834 ...filthy, vulgar... 276 00:20:47,179 --> 00:20:49,773 ...human excrement! 277 00:21:09,703 --> 00:21:12,672 - Hey, Janey. What's up? - Excuse me? 278 00:21:12,906 --> 00:21:16,637 Ever want to be the most popular girl in school? 279 00:21:16,877 --> 00:21:18,868 Anorexic, superficial? 280 00:21:19,112 --> 00:21:22,570 A whore who lacks any real long-term goals? 281 00:21:22,816 --> 00:21:24,306 Exactly. 282 00:21:24,551 --> 00:21:28,248 If you're interested, I thought we could go out sometime. 283 00:21:28,488 --> 00:21:29,785 Be seen in public. 284 00:21:30,023 --> 00:21:34,255 - We haven't spoken in four years. - Actually, more like six. 285 00:21:34,694 --> 00:21:37,891 That time when we were in line at that theater... 286 00:21:38,131 --> 00:21:42,228 ...I was actually saying "hey" to the person behind you. 287 00:21:48,876 --> 00:21:52,573 Friday's championship game is agalnst North Compton... 288 00:21:52,814 --> 00:21:55,578 ...and that squad always tries to bring it. 289 00:21:55,817 --> 00:21:58,285 - Bring what, Priscilla? - Bring it. 290 00:21:58,519 --> 00:22:01,044 Right, but what is "it"? 291 00:22:01,422 --> 00:22:03,856 It's just what they bring, okay? 292 00:22:04,058 --> 00:22:06,458 So then it is what. 293 00:22:06,661 --> 00:22:09,858 - What? - Exactly. That's what it is. 294 00:22:10,064 --> 00:22:12,123 No, it is what I want it to be. 295 00:22:12,333 --> 00:22:14,733 Even if what is what what is or it is what what is... 296 00:22:14,936 --> 00:22:16,904 ...it's just it no matter what, got it? 297 00:22:29,651 --> 00:22:34,782 I'm Sandy Sue. It is simply swell to meet all of you. 298 00:22:35,657 --> 00:22:37,921 Peachy. You brought a routine? 299 00:22:38,160 --> 00:22:40,492 Oh, you bet. 300 00:22:41,096 --> 00:22:43,428 Give me an H. Give me a U. 301 00:22:44,366 --> 00:22:47,995 Give me a giant pussy-licking, ass-fucker cock shit! 302 00:22:51,740 --> 00:22:55,733 I'm sorry. That was my Tourette's. 303 00:22:56,612 --> 00:22:59,581 I don't know about her. 304 00:22:59,815 --> 00:23:03,308 Let's get it stralght. This isn't a cheerocracy. 305 00:23:03,753 --> 00:23:05,050 I am the cheertator. 306 00:23:05,288 --> 00:23:09,987 I make the cheercisions, I will deal with the cheeronsequences. 307 00:23:10,226 --> 00:23:14,026 If there are no more cheeruptions, we can cheertinue. 308 00:23:14,797 --> 00:23:16,355 Thank you. 309 00:23:20,003 --> 00:23:22,938 Grandpa stuck a finger in my ass! Cum face! 310 00:23:25,008 --> 00:23:27,738 She'll cheer do. Great. 311 00:23:29,312 --> 00:23:32,076 Goddamn it, let's go now! Thirty-two draw! 312 00:23:32,315 --> 00:23:35,716 Goddamn it! Let's show some goddamn hustle! 313 00:23:35,952 --> 00:23:39,513 Look alive out there! This isn't a goddamn tryout! 314 00:23:39,756 --> 00:23:42,089 - Goddamn it! - Blue 21! Hut! 315 00:23:42,326 --> 00:23:43,793 What the hell? 316 00:23:44,028 --> 00:23:46,462 Nobody's covering that hole! 317 00:23:46,697 --> 00:23:49,530 Goddamn it! Let's do it agaln! 318 00:23:50,935 --> 00:23:53,836 - Goddamn it! - Marty! Marty! Marty! 319 00:23:54,605 --> 00:23:56,835 All right, Marty. 320 00:23:58,909 --> 00:24:01,377 - Get your ass in there. - You sure? 321 00:24:01,612 --> 00:24:03,978 Just go, goddamn it. 322 00:24:04,214 --> 00:24:06,409 Wyler, we got this wrapped up. 323 00:24:06,650 --> 00:24:10,643 All you gotta do is run out the clock. 324 00:24:12,656 --> 00:24:15,523 For God's sakes, don't try anything fancy! 325 00:24:15,759 --> 00:24:17,249 Goddamn it. 326 00:24:20,130 --> 00:24:21,860 Listen, boys. 327 00:24:22,100 --> 00:24:24,534 We got time for one more play. 328 00:24:24,769 --> 00:24:28,034 - I say we get the ball to Marty. - Damn. 329 00:24:28,273 --> 00:24:31,037 No, I'm just happy belng on the field. 330 00:24:31,276 --> 00:24:35,713 Coach reckons we should take a knee. We're up 42-0. 331 00:24:35,947 --> 00:24:38,074 I don't care what coach reckons. 332 00:24:38,316 --> 00:24:40,841 You can't go through life belng scared. 333 00:24:41,086 --> 00:24:44,419 If you do, you'll always wonder, "What if?" 334 00:24:45,123 --> 00:24:48,854 But if you go out there and you give it your all... 335 00:24:49,260 --> 00:24:50,921 ...that's heroic. 336 00:24:53,431 --> 00:24:55,399 Guys, I appreciate this, but... 337 00:24:55,634 --> 00:24:57,932 That's the spirlt! Ready? 338 00:25:03,542 --> 00:25:06,204 What are you doing? Get out of here. 339 00:25:06,445 --> 00:25:08,037 Not here. Down there. 340 00:25:08,280 --> 00:25:09,338 Over here? 341 00:25:09,582 --> 00:25:11,607 What are you doing? Over here! 342 00:25:12,218 --> 00:25:13,276 Here? 343 00:25:14,420 --> 00:25:15,785 We love you, Marty! 344 00:25:16,022 --> 00:25:17,614 Set, hut! 345 00:25:28,467 --> 00:25:30,230 No. No. 346 00:25:31,604 --> 00:25:33,765 No, don't throw it to me. 347 00:25:34,473 --> 00:25:35,804 No! 348 00:26:01,868 --> 00:26:05,360 - Nice hands, Marty! - I did it. 349 00:26:06,273 --> 00:26:08,207 - I'm a hero! - Walk it off! 350 00:26:09,509 --> 00:26:13,104 All right, goddamn it! Hit the showers, goddamn it! 351 00:26:13,680 --> 00:26:16,649 Bunch of candy-asses. Lousy practice! 352 00:26:16,883 --> 00:26:19,579 We'll get our asses kicked Friday! 353 00:26:19,820 --> 00:26:23,120 What about fourth-string? I didn't get to practice. 354 00:26:23,357 --> 00:26:27,191 After all the shenanigans you pulled last season... 355 00:26:27,428 --> 00:26:32,229 ...thank God you're still in goddamn uniform, goddamn it! 356 00:26:56,257 --> 00:27:00,489 If my parents hear I got detention, no dessert for a week. 357 00:27:00,729 --> 00:27:02,754 We've disgraced ourselves and our families. 358 00:27:02,965 --> 00:27:04,899 Guys, guys. 359 00:27:05,100 --> 00:27:09,036 I sense the morale's a little low. I say we make a pact... 360 00:27:09,705 --> 00:27:11,468 ...right here, right now. 361 00:27:11,707 --> 00:27:14,870 Before the end of the year, we all get laid! 362 00:27:15,544 --> 00:27:17,375 We always make that pact. 363 00:27:17,613 --> 00:27:20,480 We've been walting for this since puberty. 364 00:27:20,716 --> 00:27:24,049 - Two weeks ago! - I just got first hair on ball. 365 00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:27,188 I don't think you understand. 366 00:27:27,723 --> 00:27:31,056 We'll become the masters of our sexual destiny. 367 00:27:31,293 --> 00:27:35,059 No longer will our penises remaln flaccid and unused. 368 00:27:35,297 --> 00:27:37,765 No longer steal Grandfather's porn. 369 00:27:38,333 --> 00:27:42,065 No longer will we use blindfolds when we jerk each other off. 370 00:27:42,839 --> 00:27:44,431 All right, that's it. 371 00:27:48,311 --> 00:27:50,677 What in God's name is going on? 372 00:27:50,914 --> 00:27:53,542 - What was that ruckus? - I no hear ruckus. 373 00:27:53,783 --> 00:27:57,913 - I heard a ruckus. - Can you describe this ruckus, sir? 374 00:27:58,154 --> 00:28:00,884 You better watch your tongue, young man! 375 00:28:01,124 --> 00:28:02,955 We were just sitting here. 376 00:28:03,193 --> 00:28:06,219 You just bought yourself another detention. 377 00:28:06,462 --> 00:28:09,260 - That's not fair. - Cry me a river, dickface. 378 00:28:09,499 --> 00:28:12,332 - You bought another one. - Eat my shorts. 379 00:28:12,936 --> 00:28:14,233 What was that? 380 00:28:14,470 --> 00:28:17,633 Eat my shorts! 381 00:28:17,874 --> 00:28:20,638 - Don't mess with a bull. - I'm shaking. 382 00:28:20,878 --> 00:28:22,470 - You got another. - Good! 383 00:28:22,713 --> 00:28:25,307 - You through? - Not even close, bud. 384 00:28:25,549 --> 00:28:27,278 - Want another one? - Yes. 385 00:28:27,518 --> 00:28:29,509 - You got it! - Good. 386 00:28:29,720 --> 00:28:31,745 - Another one. Had enough? - No. 387 00:28:31,956 --> 00:28:33,116 - Another one. - So? 388 00:28:33,357 --> 00:28:35,291 - I can keep going. - Go! 389 00:28:35,526 --> 00:28:37,756 - Eenie, meenie, minie... - Moe. 390 00:28:37,962 --> 00:28:39,122 - Your mom's a... - Ho. 391 00:28:39,363 --> 00:28:41,092 - He's a famous clown. - Bobo. 392 00:28:41,298 --> 00:28:43,528 Mitch, cut it out. 393 00:28:44,101 --> 00:28:45,500 Stop. 394 00:28:45,736 --> 00:28:47,670 - Another one. - But I was... 395 00:28:47,905 --> 00:28:49,202 That's another one! 396 00:28:49,440 --> 00:28:52,170 - One more for Ox or for Mitch? - Another. 397 00:28:52,977 --> 00:28:55,104 - I confused. - Shut up, Wang Chung. 398 00:28:55,346 --> 00:28:59,248 I got you for the rest of your lives. You're mine. 399 00:28:59,683 --> 00:29:03,245 Next time, I'm cracking skulls. 400 00:29:19,037 --> 00:29:21,665 How many times have I sald I'm not going to Princeton? 401 00:29:21,907 --> 00:29:23,772 I'm not pressuring you. 402 00:29:24,209 --> 00:29:25,870 Just give it four years. 403 00:29:26,111 --> 00:29:29,410 If you don't like it, you can work at my firm. 404 00:29:29,648 --> 00:29:32,412 I don't want your life! 405 00:29:33,218 --> 00:29:34,276 That's okay, son. 406 00:29:34,519 --> 00:29:37,283 I heard about what happened with Priscilla. 407 00:29:37,522 --> 00:29:38,819 The good news is... 408 00:29:39,024 --> 00:29:41,516 ...I've got the perfect rebound girl. 409 00:29:41,761 --> 00:29:43,023 Really? 410 00:29:44,397 --> 00:29:47,093 Beverly! Could you come in here? 411 00:29:53,205 --> 00:29:54,433 That's Mom! 412 00:29:54,707 --> 00:29:56,698 What do you say, kiddo? 413 00:29:57,476 --> 00:29:59,808 I'm gonna leave you two alone. 414 00:30:10,356 --> 00:30:12,517 Would you prefer the top or bottom, dear? 415 00:30:12,725 --> 00:30:15,216 Oh, my God! 416 00:30:15,628 --> 00:30:17,926 So you in love? 417 00:30:20,299 --> 00:30:24,066 - Yeah, I think I am. - Well, who is this guy? 418 00:30:24,304 --> 00:30:28,434 His name is Blane. He's a senior. He's so beautiful. 419 00:30:33,981 --> 00:30:37,348 Janey? Sweetheart? 420 00:30:39,853 --> 00:30:41,252 Hi, Daddy. 421 00:30:41,455 --> 00:30:44,219 Is something wrong? You were quiet at dinner. 422 00:30:44,791 --> 00:30:47,453 You were passed out on the table. 423 00:30:52,933 --> 00:30:54,696 Listen, honey... 424 00:30:54,935 --> 00:30:58,928 ...I may not always be coherent or conscious... 425 00:30:59,206 --> 00:31:03,610 ...but I know when my girl's got something on her mind. 426 00:31:04,045 --> 00:31:07,014 Well, there is this popular boy, Jake. 427 00:31:07,248 --> 00:31:10,877 Oh, sweetie. 428 00:31:12,186 --> 00:31:14,677 Jake knocked you up, didn't he? 429 00:31:14,889 --> 00:31:16,789 No, he asked me out. 430 00:31:18,493 --> 00:31:21,758 Do you like him? Are you attracted to him? 431 00:31:22,096 --> 00:31:24,792 I mean, would you give him head? 432 00:31:24,999 --> 00:31:27,832 He is kind of cute, but... 433 00:31:28,069 --> 00:31:30,401 ...he's always been a total jerk. 434 00:31:30,638 --> 00:31:33,129 It's welrd that he's talking to me now. 435 00:31:33,374 --> 00:31:37,140 Especially after you've packed on a couple of pounds. 436 00:31:41,350 --> 00:31:43,841 What do you think I should do? 437 00:31:44,086 --> 00:31:45,713 Look, sweetie. 438 00:31:45,954 --> 00:31:50,448 I never want you to do anything that compromises who you are... 439 00:31:50,692 --> 00:31:54,025 ...because you're very, very special to me. 440 00:31:54,263 --> 00:31:58,199 If Jake is only asking you out to get into your pants... 441 00:31:58,734 --> 00:32:00,725 ...well, then I'd say... 442 00:32:00,936 --> 00:32:02,733 ...go out with him. 443 00:32:02,971 --> 00:32:06,532 You could certalnly use the popularity points. 444 00:32:06,942 --> 00:32:08,739 And if Jake likes you... 445 00:32:08,977 --> 00:32:14,108 ...then maybe those kids'll quit throwing bags of shit on the porch. 446 00:32:19,655 --> 00:32:21,317 I feel better. 447 00:32:23,927 --> 00:32:26,623 Thanks for the advice, Daddy. 448 00:32:27,564 --> 00:32:30,829 That's what I'm here for, pumpkin-tits. 449 00:32:35,472 --> 00:32:36,439 Catherine. 450 00:32:37,807 --> 00:32:40,935 - I need to ask you a favor. - It's about time. 451 00:32:41,411 --> 00:32:43,436 No, not that. 452 00:32:45,215 --> 00:32:48,150 You're the cruelest girl in high school. 453 00:32:48,384 --> 00:32:52,548 You're the only one who can help trick Janey into liking me. 454 00:32:52,789 --> 00:32:56,316 That girl with the glasses and the ponytalI? 455 00:32:56,559 --> 00:32:59,460 Don't forget the palnt-covered overalls. 456 00:33:00,697 --> 00:33:03,132 Well... 457 00:33:03,367 --> 00:33:05,892 ...it's going to be difficult. 458 00:33:06,670 --> 00:33:08,934 But I think I can help you. 459 00:33:09,173 --> 00:33:10,606 Sit. 460 00:33:13,844 --> 00:33:15,471 For a price. 461 00:33:17,681 --> 00:33:20,844 And this time, I don't want your car. 462 00:33:22,586 --> 00:33:24,247 I want you. 463 00:33:24,588 --> 00:33:28,115 Catherine, that's disgusting. You're my sister. 464 00:33:28,359 --> 00:33:30,850 Only by blood. 465 00:33:31,095 --> 00:33:36,556 - What is wrong with this family? - Hey, do you want my help or not? 466 00:33:50,115 --> 00:33:53,243 Okay, there are three things you need to do... 467 00:33:53,451 --> 00:33:56,215 ...to have Janey eating out of your hand. 468 00:34:04,429 --> 00:34:06,192 First, you earn her trust. 469 00:34:06,932 --> 00:34:07,990 Punk! 470 00:34:08,200 --> 00:34:09,690 Come on, leave him alone! 471 00:34:10,068 --> 00:34:14,061 Hey! Come on, guys, back off. That's enough, okay? 472 00:34:17,842 --> 00:34:19,434 You little shit. 473 00:34:31,090 --> 00:34:33,718 Don't you guys mess with him agaln. 474 00:34:33,960 --> 00:34:38,761 Once you've got her trust, it's time to make her feel special. 475 00:34:39,432 --> 00:34:43,198 Pick a song with her name in it. That always works. 476 00:35:01,220 --> 00:35:04,213 Janey's got a gun 477 00:35:04,491 --> 00:35:05,958 Janey's got a gun 478 00:35:06,193 --> 00:35:09,026 She's got a gun! Janey's got a gun! 479 00:35:09,263 --> 00:35:11,390 The whole world's come undone 480 00:35:12,566 --> 00:35:14,659 Janey Briggs got a gun 481 00:35:15,302 --> 00:35:19,534 So run away Run away from the paln 482 00:35:20,007 --> 00:35:21,201 Take it easy, miss. 483 00:35:21,441 --> 00:35:23,136 - Walt. - Get back here! 484 00:35:23,343 --> 00:35:26,938 Run away, run away from the paln 485 00:35:27,514 --> 00:35:28,776 Hold her down. 486 00:35:31,485 --> 00:35:34,716 Give me your hand! Just give us the gun, Janey. 487 00:35:35,622 --> 00:35:38,819 After you've made her feel special... 488 00:35:39,059 --> 00:35:42,029 ...it's time to put the icing on the cake. 489 00:35:42,263 --> 00:35:44,823 I'm really glad you showed up, Janey. 490 00:35:45,099 --> 00:35:49,866 The only reason I came here was to tell you to leave me alone. 491 00:35:50,104 --> 00:35:53,096 You know, I was just making a snack. 492 00:35:53,341 --> 00:35:55,070 You want one? 493 00:35:55,777 --> 00:35:57,677 No. Listen, Jake... 494 00:35:57,912 --> 00:35:59,607 I'll be right back. 495 00:36:00,415 --> 00:36:01,439 But I... 496 00:36:36,885 --> 00:36:38,512 Hungry? 497 00:36:41,590 --> 00:36:43,057 I don't like sundaes. 498 00:36:43,292 --> 00:36:47,626 It's not a sundae, it's a banana split. 499 00:36:49,231 --> 00:36:53,065 I don't like those elther. Goodbye, Jake. 500 00:37:09,552 --> 00:37:10,883 So, Jake... 501 00:37:11,087 --> 00:37:15,387 ...how's it going with Janey, Janey, I couldn't be any more plalny? 502 00:37:17,193 --> 00:37:22,153 Well, you can ask her when I take her to Preston Wassersteln's big party. 503 00:37:23,633 --> 00:37:24,793 Really? 504 00:37:26,770 --> 00:37:28,499 Really. 505 00:37:30,273 --> 00:37:31,399 How fitting. 506 00:37:31,608 --> 00:37:33,303 Everyone here is eating steak... 507 00:37:33,510 --> 00:37:36,673 ...but your boy, he's the chickenshit. 508 00:37:37,447 --> 00:37:41,349 Jake may not produce the proper enzymes to digest red meat... 509 00:37:41,552 --> 00:37:45,716 ...but he'll always be more of a quarterback than Austin. 510 00:37:45,923 --> 00:37:48,255 Oh, really? 511 00:37:48,459 --> 00:37:50,290 That's right. 512 00:37:50,494 --> 00:37:52,052 Really. 513 00:37:52,263 --> 00:37:55,255 Come on, son. Let's show them. 514 00:37:56,801 --> 00:37:57,825 I smell a bet. 515 00:38:01,238 --> 00:38:02,671 Come on, Austin. 516 00:38:10,347 --> 00:38:12,713 All right, Jake, let's do it. 517 00:38:12,917 --> 00:38:15,579 All right, let's go. 518 00:38:15,786 --> 00:38:18,084 What's the odds, huh? Hey, what's the odds? 519 00:38:18,289 --> 00:38:23,353 What, 2-1? Shit. You stupid damn hog. 520 00:38:24,663 --> 00:38:26,722 Must've been the wind, son. Try agaln. 521 00:38:30,335 --> 00:38:31,893 Damn! 522 00:38:34,840 --> 00:38:37,104 I think I moved that time. 523 00:38:38,143 --> 00:38:39,132 And that time. 524 00:38:43,415 --> 00:38:44,404 Shit! 525 00:38:49,087 --> 00:38:50,782 That is wack. 526 00:38:54,092 --> 00:38:56,390 Just nalI your mother, son. 527 00:38:56,595 --> 00:38:58,893 That's it. That's it. 528 00:39:00,031 --> 00:39:01,396 Way to go, Jake. 529 00:39:01,601 --> 00:39:04,161 At least you kept them in the yard this time. 530 00:39:08,474 --> 00:39:11,409 I left some money on the kitchen counter. 531 00:39:11,644 --> 00:39:14,044 Emergency numbers are by the phone. 532 00:39:14,280 --> 00:39:16,748 And remember, son: No parties. 533 00:39:16,983 --> 00:39:18,245 I know, Dad. 534 00:39:18,618 --> 00:39:20,313 Keg coming through. Hey. 535 00:39:21,120 --> 00:39:22,348 What's up, man? 536 00:39:22,588 --> 00:39:24,579 We're trusting you, Preston. 537 00:39:24,824 --> 00:39:29,056 - Where do you want the speakers? - In the dining room. 538 00:39:29,295 --> 00:39:31,490 You guys should hit the road. 539 00:39:31,731 --> 00:39:34,325 I'm taking your Ferrari to buy hookers. 540 00:39:34,567 --> 00:39:37,092 We'll call you later to check in. 541 00:39:37,336 --> 00:39:40,703 I'll be so high, I won't know where the phone is. 542 00:39:40,940 --> 00:39:42,374 That's my boy. 543 00:39:45,779 --> 00:39:47,974 Jake, what are you doing here? 544 00:39:48,215 --> 00:39:50,843 I'm taking you to Preston's big party. 545 00:39:51,451 --> 00:39:52,475 I can't. 546 00:39:52,719 --> 00:39:56,917 I'm not dressed to go to a party. I'm a complete mess. 547 00:39:57,157 --> 00:40:00,718 I'd say you're one big fucking traln wreck. 548 00:40:18,245 --> 00:40:22,649 Maybe a little cover-up would do the trick. 549 00:40:23,551 --> 00:40:24,745 Okay. 550 00:40:28,590 --> 00:40:31,423 What do we have to work with here? 551 00:40:33,094 --> 00:40:38,054 These are quite nice. 552 00:40:45,073 --> 00:40:48,042 And everything seems to be in working order down here. 553 00:40:53,948 --> 00:40:55,575 What are you doing? 554 00:40:57,452 --> 00:41:00,944 That's it. I've got it. 555 00:41:01,189 --> 00:41:02,350 What? 556 00:41:02,591 --> 00:41:06,584 It might seem crazy, but you'll have to trust me. 557 00:41:34,423 --> 00:41:36,220 That's it. 558 00:41:36,458 --> 00:41:39,256 I did it. I'm a miracle-worker. 559 00:41:42,265 --> 00:41:43,823 Gentlemen... 560 00:41:44,067 --> 00:41:47,127 ...may I present to you the new and improved... 561 00:41:47,704 --> 00:41:49,865 ...Janey Briggs. 562 00:42:24,608 --> 00:42:28,738 Congratulations. You just got your first slow-motion entrance. 563 00:42:51,168 --> 00:42:53,261 I'm okay! 564 00:42:53,504 --> 00:42:54,732 Janey? 565 00:42:56,741 --> 00:43:00,404 Come on out of there, honey. Quit farting around. 566 00:43:09,254 --> 00:43:12,155 - Got your mom's car keys? - Check. 567 00:43:14,359 --> 00:43:15,917 - Sleeping bags. - Check. 568 00:43:16,161 --> 00:43:17,150 - Condoms. - Check. 569 00:43:17,395 --> 00:43:22,526 Three pubescent libidos to take us on a series of wild adventures. 570 00:43:22,768 --> 00:43:25,032 Check! Road trip! 571 00:43:40,519 --> 00:43:41,645 We here. 572 00:43:42,188 --> 00:43:46,147 Gentlemen, tonight we go to our first high school party. 573 00:43:46,759 --> 00:43:49,990 This is the place to buzz the Brillo. 574 00:43:50,229 --> 00:43:52,254 How you plan on buzzing Brillo? 575 00:43:53,399 --> 00:43:57,392 With this letter. Amanda Becker will know the truth: 576 00:43:57,603 --> 00:44:00,265 I've loved her since I first saw her. 577 00:44:01,507 --> 00:44:03,566 Mitch, that was yesterday. 578 00:44:04,777 --> 00:44:06,142 Welcome to the party. 579 00:44:06,379 --> 00:44:10,645 If you're going to have sex, do it in my parents' bedroom. 580 00:44:11,751 --> 00:44:16,120 - Does she go to our school? - It's not even the same person. 581 00:44:16,355 --> 00:44:19,017 Janey-stalney-stalned-pants-overalls? 582 00:44:19,258 --> 00:44:21,453 How did you talk me into this? 583 00:44:21,694 --> 00:44:26,359 Priscilla's freaking out now that Janey's lost her ponytalI. 584 00:44:26,600 --> 00:44:29,728 I'm going to go fuck a complete stranger. 585 00:44:29,970 --> 00:44:33,064 Hey, I'm a complete stranger. 586 00:44:35,375 --> 00:44:38,867 Relax, all right? It's going to be okay. 587 00:44:39,413 --> 00:44:40,437 Nice turtleneck. 588 00:44:40,681 --> 00:44:42,546 What's your name? 589 00:44:42,783 --> 00:44:46,116 I'm Sandy Sue. Limp-dick fag-fucker! 590 00:44:46,353 --> 00:44:48,378 Who told you that? Alison? 591 00:44:48,622 --> 00:44:51,352 Alison was bitter when we broke up. 592 00:44:51,592 --> 00:44:56,052 - Completely fake. - Yeah, that's not her real hair color. 593 00:44:56,296 --> 00:45:00,426 - She's wearing the same outfit as me. - It looks much better on you. 594 00:45:01,134 --> 00:45:03,501 Where is she? I thought she'd be here by now. 595 00:45:18,920 --> 00:45:20,512 What's going on? 596 00:45:21,823 --> 00:45:26,760 We can't talk until she starts moving again. 597 00:45:42,511 --> 00:45:44,411 What are you doing here? 598 00:45:47,049 --> 00:45:48,175 What do you mean? 599 00:45:48,417 --> 00:45:52,717 I'm supposed to be the only black guy at this party. 600 00:45:53,489 --> 00:45:57,118 - Damn. Shit. - Yeah, I know. 601 00:45:57,359 --> 00:45:58,326 - It's wack. - It's wack. 602 00:45:58,560 --> 00:45:59,618 My bad, man. 603 00:45:59,862 --> 00:46:01,625 - Take this. - Thanks. 604 00:46:01,864 --> 00:46:03,195 Do your thing. 605 00:46:03,832 --> 00:46:07,359 - Peace out, brother. - Honest mistake. 606 00:46:08,737 --> 00:46:09,931 Yeah. 607 00:46:29,559 --> 00:46:32,050 Get back to the line, geek. 608 00:46:35,865 --> 00:46:37,799 Thank you. 609 00:46:45,141 --> 00:46:47,905 Hi, my name is Catherine. 610 00:46:48,611 --> 00:46:53,173 Yeah, I know. We just had sex five minutes ago. 611 00:46:57,587 --> 00:46:59,748 Not scoring any cock elther? 612 00:46:59,990 --> 00:47:03,984 Cock? I've never even been kissed. 613 00:47:26,317 --> 00:47:27,909 Janey. 614 00:47:32,623 --> 00:47:34,488 Janey! 615 00:47:34,892 --> 00:47:36,757 Janey. 616 00:47:46,038 --> 00:47:50,634 What up, my yellow brothers? Chinks in the house! 617 00:48:14,666 --> 00:48:16,531 This never actually happens in real life. 618 00:48:16,735 --> 00:48:18,168 Then why are we doing this? 619 00:48:18,370 --> 00:48:20,133 I have no idea. 620 00:48:29,282 --> 00:48:31,216 Janey! 621 00:48:37,657 --> 00:48:41,753 Reggie Ray, have you seen Janey anywhere? 622 00:48:42,762 --> 00:48:45,595 It's a good night for smoking. 623 00:48:45,832 --> 00:48:47,993 aln't that right, Sausage? 624 00:48:55,708 --> 00:48:59,371 Okay, now close your eyes and wet your lips. 625 00:48:59,612 --> 00:49:03,174 - Are you for real? - Do you want to learn or not? 626 00:49:04,718 --> 00:49:07,516 I guess. 627 00:49:17,664 --> 00:49:22,966 - See? That wasn't so scary. - It was nothing. 628 00:49:24,404 --> 00:49:26,702 Okay. 629 00:49:26,940 --> 00:49:29,431 Let's try agaln. 630 00:49:29,676 --> 00:49:34,010 Only this time, I'm gonna stick my tongue in your mouth. 631 00:49:34,248 --> 00:49:38,810 And when I do that, I want you to massage my tongue with yours. 632 00:49:39,019 --> 00:49:43,389 - And that's what first base is. - Okay. 633 00:49:43,758 --> 00:49:45,385 Eyes closed. 634 00:50:10,818 --> 00:50:12,945 That was cooI. 635 00:50:15,390 --> 00:50:16,914 Now... 636 00:50:17,158 --> 00:50:20,525 ...have you ever eaten pussy before? 637 00:50:22,932 --> 00:50:25,833 You call this a party?! 638 00:50:26,068 --> 00:50:28,662 I'm a golden goddess! 639 00:50:28,904 --> 00:50:31,737 - Show us how drunk you are! - Go for it! 640 00:50:38,214 --> 00:50:40,375 You're a unique rebel, Janey! 641 00:50:41,183 --> 00:50:42,980 Janey, are you all right? 642 00:50:43,919 --> 00:50:49,016 - I told you not to let me drink. - I gave you a nonalcoholic beer. 643 00:50:53,529 --> 00:50:56,293 What the hell are you doing here? 644 00:50:56,532 --> 00:50:57,658 I was invited. 645 00:50:57,900 --> 00:51:02,668 Look, you may have lost those glasses and that ponytalI thing... 646 00:51:02,906 --> 00:51:05,875 ...but you're still a loser. 647 00:51:11,615 --> 00:51:14,778 Look at that. Oh, my God. 648 00:51:15,018 --> 00:51:17,213 That's going to staln. 649 00:51:22,359 --> 00:51:25,590 You're not going to cry now, are you? 650 00:52:07,104 --> 00:52:11,234 Look, you can't just start a slow clap at any old time. 651 00:52:11,475 --> 00:52:17,243 - You gotta walt for the right moment. - When is it the right moment? 652 00:52:20,017 --> 00:52:22,144 You'll know. 653 00:52:34,299 --> 00:52:36,426 Nobody's allowed down here. 654 00:52:37,135 --> 00:52:38,659 Janey, I just thought... 655 00:52:38,904 --> 00:52:42,237 How did you get in here? I dead-bolted the door. 656 00:52:43,475 --> 00:52:45,670 There's a hole in the side of your house. 657 00:52:51,717 --> 00:52:53,810 Who's that? 658 00:52:54,052 --> 00:52:57,249 - It's my mother. - You have her eyes. 659 00:52:59,591 --> 00:53:02,059 She died when I was 6. 660 00:53:03,329 --> 00:53:05,194 I'm sorry. 661 00:53:05,431 --> 00:53:08,423 I remember it like it was yesterday. 662 00:53:08,668 --> 00:53:14,163 Christmas, 1989. Dad had been fired from the zipper factory. 663 00:53:14,374 --> 00:53:17,434 Mom was pulling in tricks to make ends meet. 664 00:53:17,677 --> 00:53:21,044 Daniel Day-Lewis won an Oscar for My Left Foot. 665 00:53:21,247 --> 00:53:24,546 And all I wanted was a little Betsy Wetsy doll. 666 00:53:24,751 --> 00:53:29,916 I remember those. Push her belly, she'd piss all over herself. 667 00:53:30,156 --> 00:53:34,183 She sald she was going out to get my dad a bottle of gin... 668 00:53:34,427 --> 00:53:38,158 ...but I knew she was going to get me that present. 669 00:53:38,398 --> 00:53:42,391 It was ralning really hard that night... 670 00:53:42,668 --> 00:53:45,365 ...and the roads were slippery. 671 00:53:45,873 --> 00:53:49,172 Oh, God, Janey. A car accident. 672 00:53:49,410 --> 00:53:51,571 No. Cancer. 673 00:53:55,282 --> 00:53:58,809 I had to take on all of her responsibilities: 674 00:53:59,052 --> 00:54:02,510 Cooking and cleaning and breast-feeding Mitch. 675 00:54:02,756 --> 00:54:05,919 It's in the past. Think about your future. 676 00:54:06,160 --> 00:54:08,560 Look how talented you are. 677 00:54:08,796 --> 00:54:13,358 I have this dream of just hopping on a plane and going to Paris. 678 00:54:13,600 --> 00:54:16,592 There's an art school, but I can't afford it. 679 00:54:17,137 --> 00:54:21,335 Unless I ralse $26,000 before the admissions cutoff. 680 00:54:21,575 --> 00:54:26,946 My parents give a scholarship to girls who can't get into art school. 681 00:54:27,148 --> 00:54:29,082 Really? That's amazing. 682 00:54:29,284 --> 00:54:33,584 This year we gave it to Lupe, the Mexican finger palnter. 683 00:54:33,822 --> 00:54:35,881 I think you'd really like her work. 684 00:54:37,492 --> 00:54:41,155 Sometimes I wish my life was a fairy tale... 685 00:54:41,396 --> 00:54:44,627 ...and some guy would come and take me away. 686 00:55:09,058 --> 00:55:10,719 - I was... - Yeah, because we... 687 00:55:10,926 --> 00:55:14,919 - My eyes were shut. - And we couldn't even... 688 00:55:22,705 --> 00:55:25,173 I'm gonna... 689 00:55:25,374 --> 00:55:27,934 - I'm going to go. - Okay. 690 00:55:28,944 --> 00:55:32,072 Congratulations to the men and women nominated for prom queen. 691 00:55:36,652 --> 00:55:38,142 Janey! 692 00:55:38,354 --> 00:55:40,322 - Janey. - What a nerd. 693 00:55:42,458 --> 00:55:44,222 Hi. Check it out. 694 00:55:44,427 --> 00:55:46,657 You have been nominated for prom queen. 695 00:55:46,863 --> 00:55:49,093 - What? - Yeah. 696 00:55:50,834 --> 00:55:53,132 - I can't believe it. - Yeah. 697 00:55:53,336 --> 00:55:56,430 So do you have a date yet? 698 00:55:56,640 --> 00:55:59,302 No, nobody's asked me. 699 00:55:59,509 --> 00:56:02,535 Do you wanna go? 700 00:56:02,746 --> 00:56:05,579 Of course, if somebody asked me. 701 00:56:05,782 --> 00:56:08,444 Then I'm asking you right now. 702 00:56:08,652 --> 00:56:10,643 About what? 703 00:56:10,854 --> 00:56:12,719 The prom. 704 00:56:12,923 --> 00:56:15,414 Yeah, I know. It's on Saturday, silly. 705 00:56:15,625 --> 00:56:17,616 See you in English. 706 00:56:17,827 --> 00:56:19,522 Okay. 707 00:56:20,263 --> 00:56:22,390 I had a feeling you were gonna say that. 708 00:56:33,911 --> 00:56:37,677 Think you'll be prom queen? Well, think agaln, Janey. 709 00:56:37,882 --> 00:56:41,943 You put the "ass" in "embarrassment," the "boo" in "taboo." 710 00:56:42,186 --> 00:56:45,178 And the "suck" in "liposuction." 711 00:56:48,793 --> 00:56:50,488 Is that the best you can do? 712 00:56:51,762 --> 00:56:53,457 No. 713 00:56:53,698 --> 00:56:56,758 You also put the "brat" in "bratwurst." 714 00:56:56,968 --> 00:56:59,903 And the "eew" in "jujitsu." 715 00:57:00,104 --> 00:57:04,838 And the "ism" in "This is all just a defense mechanism." 716 00:57:09,081 --> 00:57:13,711 So I told her, "Take the old lady and send your mama back." 717 00:57:15,020 --> 00:57:19,684 So you asked your four-eyed circus freak to the prom yet? 718 00:57:19,925 --> 00:57:21,984 - We resent that! - We resent that! 719 00:57:23,629 --> 00:57:26,621 Why don't you just drop it, Austin. 720 00:57:26,898 --> 00:57:31,733 Jake made a few palnt stalns in his pants thinking about Janey. 721 00:57:32,571 --> 00:57:35,540 It's just a bet. Okay, man? 722 00:57:36,008 --> 00:57:38,704 You always had a thing for ugly girls... 723 00:57:38,944 --> 00:57:42,505 ...Mr. I-Have- a- Thing-for-Ugly-Girls. 724 00:57:44,917 --> 00:57:46,350 You mean Janey? 725 00:57:46,586 --> 00:57:50,147 She looks as good as a dumpster full of gristles. 726 00:57:50,490 --> 00:57:52,924 Bling-bling. 727 00:57:54,494 --> 00:57:56,860 Janey Briggs... 728 00:57:57,096 --> 00:57:58,688 ...is hot. 729 00:58:15,815 --> 00:58:18,613 - Hey, Janey. - Hey, Jake. 730 00:58:18,851 --> 00:58:21,718 I've been doing a lot of thinking... 731 00:58:21,954 --> 00:58:26,722 ...and there's something I want to ask you. 732 00:58:26,960 --> 00:58:29,827 I don't want to make a big deal of it... 733 00:58:30,064 --> 00:58:34,501 ...so I'm just gonna lay it out there, okay? 734 00:58:35,235 --> 00:58:37,169 Here it is. 735 00:58:39,306 --> 00:58:42,275 See, I don't like making big speeches. 736 00:58:42,509 --> 00:58:46,206 I'm a stralght shooter. I call them like I see them. 737 00:58:46,647 --> 00:58:48,615 What you see is what you get. 738 00:58:49,316 --> 00:58:54,379 aln't nobody gonna break my stride. aln't nobody gonna slow me down. 739 00:58:54,621 --> 00:58:57,920 Jake, are you trying to ask me to the...? 740 00:58:58,158 --> 00:59:00,217 Yeah. 741 00:59:00,461 --> 00:59:02,520 I'd love to go with you. 742 00:59:07,268 --> 00:59:09,634 Great. Great. 743 00:59:12,707 --> 00:59:14,038 I'll see you in English. 744 00:59:14,375 --> 00:59:15,740 You... 745 00:59:17,946 --> 00:59:19,743 It's Friday night, it's 8:00... 746 00:59:19,948 --> 00:59:21,939 ...and that can only mean one thing. 747 00:59:22,150 --> 00:59:25,916 You guessed it. A new episode of Sabrina, the Teenage Witch. 748 00:59:27,388 --> 00:59:29,413 But if you're not a fan of Melissa Joan Hart... 749 00:59:29,624 --> 00:59:31,057 ...and I'm not sure who isn't... 750 00:59:31,259 --> 00:59:33,227 ...there's a state championship to be played. 751 00:59:36,030 --> 00:59:39,557 All right. It's time to play some football! 752 00:59:39,768 --> 00:59:45,071 The John Hughes Wasps take on the North Compton Wildcats. 753 01:00:02,958 --> 01:00:04,550 Goddamn! 754 01:00:12,067 --> 01:00:15,059 That's the fastest half of football ever. 755 01:00:19,975 --> 01:00:23,707 We saw you at our practice. I know you stole our routine. 756 01:00:23,947 --> 01:00:28,680 I don't know what you mean. We do our own cheers. Right, girls? 757 01:00:28,919 --> 01:00:29,943 That's right. 758 01:00:30,153 --> 01:00:33,179 Well, then, you better bring it. 759 01:00:33,423 --> 01:00:35,687 Oh, it's already been broughten. 760 01:00:36,393 --> 01:00:38,691 Nice comeback, Priscilla! Yeah! 761 01:00:39,262 --> 01:00:42,254 We are the North Compton Wildcats 762 01:00:42,499 --> 01:00:44,057 We're black, we know it 763 01:00:44,267 --> 01:00:46,462 We shake our booty and show it 764 01:00:46,703 --> 01:00:48,500 We aln't white We aln't white 765 01:00:48,705 --> 01:00:52,004 We definitely aln't white Break it down, nigga 766 01:00:57,881 --> 01:01:00,679 Damn, those bitches represent! 767 01:01:08,659 --> 01:01:09,648 All right! 768 01:01:10,695 --> 01:01:12,822 - Reggie Ray. - I smell a bet. 769 01:01:13,998 --> 01:01:15,431 You all right? 770 01:01:15,633 --> 01:01:18,625 Coach says it's okay to bleed from the ears. 771 01:01:24,041 --> 01:01:27,067 I got to go back out on the field. 772 01:01:28,512 --> 01:01:31,481 All right. Be careful. You only have three... 773 01:01:32,450 --> 01:01:35,886 Two concussions left. Reggie Ray. 774 01:01:36,120 --> 01:01:37,747 And we're back. 775 01:01:39,557 --> 01:01:41,491 Let's go, Wasps! 776 01:01:42,260 --> 01:01:43,990 Let's go, Wasps! 777 01:01:44,963 --> 01:01:46,191 Let's go, Wasps! 778 01:01:48,133 --> 01:01:49,862 Blue 33! Set! 779 01:01:52,004 --> 01:01:53,767 That's defense right there. 780 01:01:55,073 --> 01:01:57,166 Say "good day" to Reggie Ray. 781 01:01:59,711 --> 01:02:02,737 Sit down. He got the wind knocked out of him. 782 01:02:03,115 --> 01:02:06,448 - Come on, Reggie Ray, get up! - Reggie Ray. 783 01:02:06,652 --> 01:02:08,916 You still have another concussion! 784 01:02:12,124 --> 01:02:13,091 Come on, dog! 785 01:02:13,959 --> 01:02:16,257 It doesn't look good, coach. 786 01:02:16,495 --> 01:02:18,520 - Can he play? - He's in a coma. 787 01:02:18,764 --> 01:02:21,824 Answer my question! Can he play? 788 01:02:22,067 --> 01:02:24,935 He can't breathe. Get him to a hospital. 789 01:02:25,171 --> 01:02:26,195 Listen right now! 790 01:02:26,539 --> 01:02:32,034 I don't care what you have to do! He stays in the game, goddamn it! 791 01:02:33,346 --> 01:02:35,405 - Coach, I'm in love with you. - Goddamn it! 792 01:02:35,615 --> 01:02:37,014 Fuck. 793 01:02:43,957 --> 01:02:46,824 Holy shit, this motherfucker's heavy. 794 01:02:47,360 --> 01:02:48,622 Blue 15! 795 01:02:51,464 --> 01:02:52,931 Set! Hut! 796 01:02:56,836 --> 01:02:58,929 Goddamn it, Reggie Ray! 797 01:03:00,006 --> 01:03:01,337 Shit. 798 01:03:20,594 --> 01:03:23,586 Wham, bam, what the fuck just happened? 799 01:03:26,800 --> 01:03:31,601 Okay, Wyler, I've got no choice. You're the only quarterback I've got. 800 01:03:32,940 --> 01:03:37,206 - I say give the ball to Marty. - I'm just happy belng on the field. 801 01:03:38,178 --> 01:03:42,615 - You'll always wonder, "What if?" - I'm a hero! 802 01:03:44,519 --> 01:03:46,680 Goddamn it! Get in the game! 803 01:03:46,921 --> 01:03:48,513 You're our only chance! 804 01:03:49,958 --> 01:03:53,951 - You're a pussy, Wyler! - Do it for Marty's torso! 805 01:03:57,632 --> 01:03:59,293 You got butterflies, huh? 806 01:03:59,701 --> 01:04:00,759 Who are you? 807 01:04:08,510 --> 01:04:09,704 I'm the wise janitor. 808 01:04:10,278 --> 01:04:13,406 I impart knowledge and help overcome fears. 809 01:04:13,648 --> 01:04:15,809 I also replace the urinal cakes. 810 01:04:16,051 --> 01:04:18,679 I'm here to help you get your throw back. 811 01:04:19,554 --> 01:04:21,522 - How did you...? - I've been watching. 812 01:04:21,756 --> 01:04:26,285 During practice, in the hallways, in the lockers, taking a shower... 813 01:04:26,529 --> 01:04:29,498 ...whipping boys with a wet towel. 814 01:04:29,732 --> 01:04:34,260 - Can tell you kind of like that. - Hey! Let's get back to the throw. 815 01:04:34,503 --> 01:04:37,267 What happened to Marty wasn't your fault. 816 01:04:37,506 --> 01:04:38,473 Really? 817 01:04:38,674 --> 01:04:41,905 Okay, it was. But you got to get over it. 818 01:04:42,111 --> 01:04:44,443 It could've happened to anybody. 819 01:04:44,680 --> 01:04:48,138 Anybody that disobeyed the coach and the team... 820 01:04:48,350 --> 01:04:53,253 ...and threw to a 90-pound kid who shouldn't have been on the field. 821 01:04:53,456 --> 01:04:57,358 Stop! How is any of this supposed to be helping me? 822 01:04:57,560 --> 01:04:59,551 Right. Forget what I sald. 823 01:04:59,795 --> 01:05:04,495 You got to go out there, believe in the ball and throw yourself. 824 01:05:04,901 --> 01:05:07,028 You can do it. 825 01:05:11,541 --> 01:05:13,702 I'm going out there. 826 01:05:20,016 --> 01:05:23,611 Only 25 seconds remalning, and the season... 827 01:05:23,854 --> 01:05:28,120 ...rests in the hands of fourth-string quarterback Jake Wyler. 828 01:05:28,358 --> 01:05:31,418 Translation: We're shit out of luck. 829 01:05:31,862 --> 01:05:33,193 Give me a W! 830 01:05:34,197 --> 01:05:36,290 Give me a Y! 831 01:05:36,500 --> 01:05:39,731 Give me a... Lick my pussy ass cock shit! 832 01:05:40,570 --> 01:05:43,130 Lick my pussy ass cock shit! 833 01:05:47,478 --> 01:05:48,604 Blue 83! 834 01:05:48,846 --> 01:05:51,110 - Blue 83! - Reggie Ray? 835 01:05:51,349 --> 01:05:53,340 I reckon I'm feeling better. 836 01:05:53,584 --> 01:05:54,915 Set! Hut! 837 01:06:39,398 --> 01:06:40,524 Shit. 838 01:06:54,880 --> 01:06:59,340 That has to be the worst pass I've ever seen, ever. 839 01:07:01,553 --> 01:07:03,521 What the hell was that? 840 01:07:31,718 --> 01:07:32,912 Jake? 841 01:07:35,588 --> 01:07:36,782 Jake. 842 01:07:38,691 --> 01:07:39,885 Hey. 843 01:07:40,493 --> 01:07:43,986 - You did great out there. - I blew the game, Janey. 844 01:07:44,231 --> 01:07:45,630 I let everyone down. 845 01:07:45,866 --> 01:07:50,633 It's just a football game, Jake. Besides... 846 01:07:51,872 --> 01:07:53,737 ...you didn't let me down. 847 01:07:54,308 --> 01:07:55,502 Really? 848 01:07:56,944 --> 01:07:59,640 Jake, you've taught me to be myself. 849 01:07:59,880 --> 01:08:02,872 You never saw me as the girl in glasses. 850 01:08:03,117 --> 01:08:05,642 Don't forget the palnt-covered overalls. 851 01:08:05,886 --> 01:08:08,582 Right, you never noticed those elther. 852 01:08:09,623 --> 01:08:12,091 You taught me a lot about myself too. 853 01:08:12,626 --> 01:08:16,790 Oh, Jake. Nothing could ever come between us now. 854 01:08:20,934 --> 01:08:23,129 Nothing could ever come between us now. 855 01:08:23,337 --> 01:08:24,566 Jake Wyler. 856 01:08:26,374 --> 01:08:29,775 Congratulations. You blew my perfect season. 857 01:08:30,011 --> 01:08:33,970 - Senor You-Blew-My-Perfect-Season. - What do you want, Austin? 858 01:08:34,215 --> 01:08:35,182 A life. 859 01:08:36,851 --> 01:08:38,318 And payback. 860 01:08:38,787 --> 01:08:41,950 - Come on, don't do this. - No, I'll hang around. 861 01:08:42,190 --> 01:08:47,093 Maybe tell Janey a little S-E-C-R-A-T-P... 862 01:08:50,565 --> 01:08:52,226 What's going on? 863 01:08:52,434 --> 01:08:54,163 Austin. 864 01:08:54,369 --> 01:08:55,461 This isn't funny! 865 01:08:57,038 --> 01:08:58,005 No. 866 01:08:59,474 --> 01:09:00,668 I don't believe it. 867 01:09:00,909 --> 01:09:05,574 I sald I'd turn you into prom queen when I thought you were ugly... 868 01:09:05,781 --> 01:09:11,219 ...the girl with no friends who was dirt poor and smelled a little funky. 869 01:09:11,454 --> 01:09:13,854 Look, I made a mistake. 870 01:09:14,090 --> 01:09:18,254 If I could go back, I never would've made that stupid bet. 871 01:09:21,497 --> 01:09:23,556 What bet? 872 01:09:26,569 --> 01:09:30,027 I never sald anything about a bet. 873 01:09:39,982 --> 01:09:41,142 All I sald was: 874 01:09:41,384 --> 01:09:43,249 "I'm pretending to whisper... 875 01:09:43,486 --> 01:09:48,550 ...so Jake thinks I'm telling you a secret and will confess... 876 01:09:48,792 --> 01:09:54,230 ...revealing a secret and confirming everything I whispered in your ear." 877 01:10:20,190 --> 01:10:23,523 I wish I didn't make that bet 878 01:10:23,760 --> 01:10:27,356 That's not the guy I want to be 879 01:10:27,598 --> 01:10:31,034 If I could just turn back the clock 880 01:10:31,269 --> 01:10:36,172 Then Janey would still be with me 881 01:10:39,110 --> 01:10:42,204 Tell me, Mom, what should I do? 882 01:10:42,613 --> 01:10:44,080 I love this boy 883 01:10:44,315 --> 01:10:49,252 But he has been untrue 884 01:10:51,923 --> 01:10:55,017 I'll do my best to make things right 885 01:10:55,893 --> 01:10:59,522 I wish we could resolve this fight 886 01:11:00,398 --> 01:11:02,195 It could happen 887 01:11:02,433 --> 01:11:03,866 It could happen 888 01:11:04,102 --> 01:11:08,198 - At the prom tonight - At the prom tonight 889 01:11:13,779 --> 01:11:16,714 I'm getting pussy no matter what 890 01:11:16,982 --> 01:11:19,712 Even if it with dirty slut 891 01:11:19,952 --> 01:11:22,546 True love is what I want the most 892 01:11:22,788 --> 01:11:26,315 I just jerked off in your French toast 893 01:11:26,925 --> 01:11:31,419 So what if we have the same mother 894 01:11:32,865 --> 01:11:37,928 Tonight I'm gonna fuck my brother 895 01:11:38,370 --> 01:11:41,134 In a few hours I'll be queen of the prom 896 01:11:44,177 --> 01:11:47,738 I've been an alcoholic Since my first tour in Nam 897 01:11:50,116 --> 01:11:53,916 I asked Janey to the prom And she doesn't know why 898 01:11:56,222 --> 01:11:59,851 I'm only in the song because I'm a black guy 899 01:12:03,229 --> 01:12:08,030 I have no money I have to make my own dress 900 01:12:09,869 --> 01:12:14,863 Look at me, my breasts are perky, yes 901 01:12:15,675 --> 01:12:18,644 I'm gonna win her back No matter what it takes 902 01:12:18,878 --> 01:12:23,508 Here I go, I'm gonna Forget about Jake 903 01:12:26,921 --> 01:12:28,752 Prom tonight 904 01:12:30,791 --> 01:12:32,656 Prom tonight 905 01:12:34,194 --> 01:12:35,559 Prom tonight 906 01:12:41,035 --> 01:12:43,663 It's gonna happen, gonna happen 907 01:12:47,374 --> 01:12:51,834 At the prom 908 01:12:54,381 --> 01:12:55,370 Tonight 909 01:13:17,973 --> 01:13:19,099 Hi, Ricky. 910 01:13:19,307 --> 01:13:21,207 Thanks. See you in English. 911 01:13:21,409 --> 01:13:23,536 Oh, but we're graduated. 912 01:13:23,745 --> 01:13:26,373 All right, can you...? I'm not... No, can you take it ba...? 913 01:13:26,581 --> 01:13:28,708 Can you please not...? All right. 914 01:13:38,560 --> 01:13:44,522 When I was a freshman, I threw 176 touchdown passes. 915 01:13:44,867 --> 01:13:50,169 My sophomore year, I ran 14 in on my own with a spralned ankle... 916 01:13:50,406 --> 01:13:54,706 ...a broken phalange, a ruptured duodenum and subdermal hematoma. 917 01:13:55,411 --> 01:13:57,402 When I was a junior, I won the science fair... 918 01:13:57,613 --> 01:13:59,581 ...for running a Volkswagen Bug off a potato. 919 01:13:59,782 --> 01:14:06,415 Most recently, I was a star of the Greco-Roman Wrestling Federation. 920 01:14:24,541 --> 01:14:26,771 I bet she great bonk. 921 01:14:27,010 --> 01:14:30,377 Excuse me, Bruce? No. You don't bonk Amanda Becker. 922 01:14:30,981 --> 01:14:34,747 You make sweet, sweet love to her. 923 01:14:35,452 --> 01:14:37,682 Amanda Becker's like a flower. 924 01:14:38,321 --> 01:14:39,811 You smell her. 925 01:14:40,057 --> 01:14:41,991 You touch her gently. 926 01:14:42,526 --> 01:14:47,020 You admire the beauty. You watch it blossom. 927 01:14:47,798 --> 01:14:52,167 And you thank God he created something so perfect. 928 01:14:54,905 --> 01:14:56,372 Go to her. 929 01:15:08,986 --> 01:15:10,977 Be strong, Mitch! 930 01:15:24,102 --> 01:15:26,832 What do you expect from me? 931 01:15:27,505 --> 01:15:32,033 - Do you think I'll have sex with you? - No! You don't understand. 932 01:15:32,276 --> 01:15:34,335 Because I am not a cheap slut. 933 01:15:34,579 --> 01:15:39,039 I don't screw every pathetic guy that gives me a letter. 934 01:15:41,219 --> 01:15:43,813 I give them hand jobs. 935 01:15:51,430 --> 01:15:55,059 - Want to dance? - Only if we're horizontal. 936 01:15:55,667 --> 01:15:58,261 I totally heard that. 937 01:16:11,583 --> 01:16:13,642 We're dancing. 938 01:16:34,974 --> 01:16:35,941 It's funny. 939 01:16:36,176 --> 01:16:40,203 You'd never suspect everyone here is a professional dancer. 940 01:16:54,360 --> 01:16:55,691 Oh, God. No. 941 01:16:55,929 --> 01:16:58,022 I want to do it here on the dance floor. 942 01:16:58,231 --> 01:16:59,357 Janey! 943 01:16:59,566 --> 01:17:03,366 Don't you forget our deal. She wins, you're mine. 944 01:17:15,149 --> 01:17:19,245 And now the moment every popular guy who's made a bet... 945 01:17:19,486 --> 01:17:24,048 ...to turn a rebellious girl into prom queen has been walting for: 946 01:17:24,291 --> 01:17:27,590 The announcement of the prom king and queen. 947 01:17:27,828 --> 01:17:30,319 This year's prom king is... 948 01:17:31,031 --> 01:17:32,020 Marty! 949 01:17:32,766 --> 01:17:35,064 ...Jake Wyler! 950 01:17:49,417 --> 01:17:50,850 Way to go, Jake! 951 01:17:51,453 --> 01:17:54,354 This year's prom queen is... 952 01:17:54,556 --> 01:17:56,456 You got it, Priscilla! 953 01:17:56,658 --> 01:17:59,559 I don't believe it. It's a tie. 954 01:18:00,161 --> 01:18:01,128 A tie? 955 01:18:01,363 --> 01:18:02,990 - Holy shit! - Oh, my God. 956 01:18:04,699 --> 01:18:06,963 Your new prom queens are... 957 01:18:08,436 --> 01:18:11,894 ...Kara and Sara Fratelli. - Fuck. 958 01:18:12,974 --> 01:18:16,774 - Oh, my God! - They deserve it. 959 01:18:19,214 --> 01:18:20,511 Congratulations! 960 01:18:22,817 --> 01:18:26,515 There we go! Your king and queen. 961 01:18:32,762 --> 01:18:35,890 I say we make like a tree and branch... 962 01:18:36,899 --> 01:18:38,890 ...out of here. 963 01:18:40,303 --> 01:18:41,895 All right, Kara and Sara. 964 01:18:42,138 --> 01:18:45,767 Now it is traditional for the king and queen... 965 01:18:45,975 --> 01:18:49,570 ...to share a ceremonial dance. - Come here. 966 01:18:50,913 --> 01:18:55,816 Put your heads on my shoulder 967 01:19:00,056 --> 01:19:01,648 You smell good. 968 01:19:15,238 --> 01:19:16,603 Janey! 969 01:19:21,345 --> 01:19:23,506 Do you know where Austin went? 970 01:19:23,747 --> 01:19:27,740 I know he rented a room at the Sunrise Motel. Room number six. 971 01:19:27,985 --> 01:19:32,115 Past the ice dispenser. Hit the Pepsi machine, you went too far. 972 01:19:32,356 --> 01:19:34,824 Oh, and the door will not be locked. 973 01:19:37,427 --> 01:19:38,758 That's all I know. 974 01:19:40,030 --> 01:19:41,258 Thanks, Malik. 975 01:19:43,633 --> 01:19:48,503 You're intelligent and insightful. You don't get the respect you deserve. 976 01:19:51,209 --> 01:19:53,473 You really mean that, Jake? 977 01:19:53,678 --> 01:19:56,841 That's great! I've always wanted to discuss... 978 01:19:57,048 --> 01:19:59,414 I actually got to go. Sorry. 979 01:19:59,650 --> 01:20:00,708 Motherfucker. 980 01:20:00,952 --> 01:20:02,783 Hold it right there, mister. 981 01:20:03,321 --> 01:20:08,520 I am not going to let you hurt Janey agaln, okay? Besides, I love her. 982 01:20:08,726 --> 01:20:09,852 Well, so do I. 983 01:20:10,762 --> 01:20:15,426 But I'm the best friend, and I've been in front of her the whole time... 984 01:20:15,666 --> 01:20:19,830 ...and she just doesn't realize it yet, but she will. 985 01:20:20,304 --> 01:20:23,796 I'm the cooI guy who's learned the error of his ways. 986 01:20:24,175 --> 01:20:27,475 She'll forgive my mistakes and realize I love her. 987 01:20:29,281 --> 01:20:30,805 Damn it. That's true. 988 01:20:45,764 --> 01:20:48,995 Why's this door locked? It's a fire hazard! 989 01:21:04,283 --> 01:21:06,309 Get out of the road! 990 01:21:06,553 --> 01:21:07,986 Hey, watch it, man! 991 01:21:09,222 --> 01:21:11,417 She's not attracted to you! 992 01:21:12,192 --> 01:21:13,853 She doesn't love you! 993 01:21:14,894 --> 01:21:17,385 You'll never be more than a friend! 994 01:21:18,431 --> 01:21:20,558 Two dollars! 995 01:21:29,642 --> 01:21:31,803 Ice dispenser. 996 01:21:32,045 --> 01:21:33,410 Six. 997 01:21:33,880 --> 01:21:37,907 Yeah! I'll make you forget all about losing prom queen. 998 01:21:38,151 --> 01:21:41,609 Tell me who your daddy is! Tell me who your papa is! 999 01:21:44,290 --> 01:21:46,521 Get off her, man! 1000 01:21:46,760 --> 01:21:47,886 Priscilla. 1001 01:21:48,095 --> 01:21:49,562 Don't move. 1002 01:21:54,435 --> 01:21:57,131 - What's going on? - Something beautiful. 1003 01:21:58,172 --> 01:22:01,335 - Where's Janey? - Miss Run-Home-to-My-Daddy... 1004 01:22:01,575 --> 01:22:04,305 ...ran home to her daddy. 1005 01:22:05,279 --> 01:22:08,874 - That's for taking Janey to the prom. - You put the... 1006 01:22:09,083 --> 01:22:13,850 - That's for hurting her at the party! - This is really turning me on. 1007 01:22:14,321 --> 01:22:17,154 That's for belng really welrd. 1008 01:22:17,424 --> 01:22:18,891 Thank you. 1009 01:22:24,365 --> 01:22:26,800 I don't know what that was for. 1010 01:22:35,010 --> 01:22:39,003 - Oh, me so horny. - Oh, me so horny. 1011 01:22:40,815 --> 01:22:45,184 You nerd who can't get pussy from American girl? 1012 01:22:45,387 --> 01:22:47,480 You smart cookie. How you know? 1013 01:22:47,689 --> 01:22:49,281 I know. 1014 01:22:49,491 --> 01:22:54,155 You follow me, I give you sucky-sucky. 1015 01:22:58,066 --> 01:23:00,830 Hey! What's everybody standing around for? 1016 01:23:01,203 --> 01:23:03,603 Come on. Join the fun! 1017 01:23:05,841 --> 01:23:07,672 Watch me! 1018 01:23:08,778 --> 01:23:11,042 Get footloose everybody! Yeah! 1019 01:23:11,247 --> 01:23:14,114 One, two, three. Come on, you can... 1020 01:23:14,750 --> 01:23:16,445 Kick him in the butt! 1021 01:23:22,391 --> 01:23:24,052 Hello. 1022 01:23:25,928 --> 01:23:27,122 Hi. 1023 01:23:28,497 --> 01:23:31,898 I never thought I'd hear myself say this... 1024 01:23:32,335 --> 01:23:37,739 ...but for once, I wish I could meet a nice, sensitive guy... 1025 01:23:37,940 --> 01:23:40,773 ...who wanted more than just sex. 1026 01:23:42,378 --> 01:23:45,075 That is very admirable. 1027 01:23:47,985 --> 01:23:50,647 I wish a guy would take me out for dinner. 1028 01:23:51,288 --> 01:23:52,880 I feel the same way. 1029 01:23:55,092 --> 01:23:56,821 And for once... 1030 01:23:58,862 --> 01:24:03,060 ...I wish a guy would take a dump on my chest. 1031 01:24:05,168 --> 01:24:07,102 That is appalling. 1032 01:24:11,408 --> 01:24:13,376 That really upsets me. 1033 01:24:14,845 --> 01:24:18,906 I can't believe nobody's ever taken a dump on your chest. 1034 01:24:22,586 --> 01:24:24,110 Will you be that guy? 1035 01:24:30,995 --> 01:24:34,487 It would be an honor and a privilege. 1036 01:24:45,076 --> 01:24:46,873 Janey! 1037 01:24:50,148 --> 01:24:51,206 Hello? 1038 01:24:52,150 --> 01:24:53,981 Is anybody home? 1039 01:24:54,552 --> 01:24:56,986 Get down! Enemy fire! 1040 01:24:58,356 --> 01:25:00,017 Mr. Briggs? 1041 01:25:00,258 --> 01:25:03,250 Excuse me, sir. Do you know where Janey is? 1042 01:25:03,494 --> 01:25:07,955 She went out there. On her own. There's Charlie everywhere. 1043 01:25:08,500 --> 01:25:10,832 Right. Do you know where she went? 1044 01:25:11,236 --> 01:25:13,864 Couldn't take it. Went to the airport. 1045 01:25:14,106 --> 01:25:18,805 Something about Paris. Her tour was over. 1046 01:25:19,111 --> 01:25:21,204 Paris. Thank you, sir. 1047 01:25:21,780 --> 01:25:25,341 I need ammo! I can't hold them off much longer! 1048 01:25:33,225 --> 01:25:35,216 She's not here. 1049 01:25:35,427 --> 01:25:37,622 Went to the airport. 1050 01:25:38,764 --> 01:25:40,197 Thanks. 1051 01:25:40,399 --> 01:25:42,026 You're welcome. 1052 01:25:48,575 --> 01:25:51,567 Off the road, you glasses and ponytalI freak! 1053 01:26:04,891 --> 01:26:06,119 Two dollars! 1054 01:26:06,326 --> 01:26:08,419 - Two dollars! - Two dollars! 1055 01:26:14,868 --> 01:26:16,961 Next stop, airport. 1056 01:26:17,237 --> 01:26:21,799 The red zone is for the loading and unloading of passengers. 1057 01:26:22,041 --> 01:26:23,440 No parking. 1058 01:26:23,676 --> 01:26:24,904 Attention, please. 1059 01:26:25,146 --> 01:26:30,448 All red Porsche 944s parked in the white zone will be towed immediately. 1060 01:26:35,790 --> 01:26:39,282 Paris air, flight 805 to art school in Paris... 1061 01:26:39,527 --> 01:26:41,757 ...from gate 122, is now boarding. 1062 01:26:55,242 --> 01:26:57,574 Excuse me, everyone! 1063 01:26:58,212 --> 01:27:02,376 There's a girl boarding a plane right now to Paris that I love. 1064 01:27:04,051 --> 01:27:07,613 If I don't get there in time and tell her how I feel... 1065 01:27:07,856 --> 01:27:10,450 ...I may never see her agaln. 1066 01:27:14,396 --> 01:27:15,488 Go get her, son. 1067 01:27:16,565 --> 01:27:17,896 Good luck, young man. 1068 01:27:20,402 --> 01:27:22,063 - Go get her! - Go for it. 1069 01:27:24,739 --> 01:27:26,070 Oh, hell, just go. 1070 01:27:28,910 --> 01:27:29,968 Freeze, bitch! 1071 01:27:40,922 --> 01:27:43,390 You're bleeding on my suitcase. 1072 01:27:49,699 --> 01:27:50,666 Excuse me! 1073 01:27:51,767 --> 01:27:53,166 Excuse me, everyone! 1074 01:27:53,736 --> 01:27:59,197 There's a girl about to board a plane to Paris right now that I love... 1075 01:27:59,408 --> 01:28:03,003 We already heard that one. Asshole. 1076 01:28:04,847 --> 01:28:09,784 This is the final call for Paris air flight 805 to art school... 1077 01:28:10,019 --> 01:28:12,283 ...departing from gate 122. 1078 01:28:12,488 --> 01:28:14,046 Janey! 1079 01:28:15,191 --> 01:28:17,386 Hey, shithead, that's mine. 1080 01:28:17,627 --> 01:28:18,924 Give it back! 1081 01:28:19,295 --> 01:28:23,527 Just believe in the ball, Jake. And throw yourself. 1082 01:28:24,400 --> 01:28:25,595 Yeah. 1083 01:28:35,178 --> 01:28:36,145 Yes! 1084 01:28:36,346 --> 01:28:37,745 Nice shot, Jake. 1085 01:28:40,284 --> 01:28:41,444 - Jake? - Janey. 1086 01:28:41,652 --> 01:28:44,052 Thank God I got to you in time. Listen to me. 1087 01:28:44,488 --> 01:28:46,718 I'm not going to let you go to Paris. 1088 01:28:47,357 --> 01:28:50,087 - This is the final call... - Why not? 1089 01:28:50,327 --> 01:28:52,488 ...for flight 805 to art school. 1090 01:28:52,729 --> 01:28:58,395 If you're finding words to stop a girl from leaving, now would be the time. 1091 01:28:58,602 --> 01:29:00,194 Janey... 1092 01:29:01,638 --> 01:29:05,336 ...I made that bet before I knew you. 1093 01:29:06,811 --> 01:29:08,938 Before I really knew me. 1094 01:29:10,882 --> 01:29:12,042 Oh, Jake. 1095 01:29:14,085 --> 01:29:15,916 Okay, hold it right there. 1096 01:29:20,091 --> 01:29:23,322 Tell me you didn't quote Freddie Prinze Jr. 1097 01:29:25,263 --> 01:29:29,029 I knew it. That was a line from She's All That. 1098 01:29:29,267 --> 01:29:31,827 I masturbate to that movie. 1099 01:29:35,139 --> 01:29:36,128 Do you mind? 1100 01:29:36,374 --> 01:29:39,366 No, not at all. Masturbation's very healthy. 1101 01:29:39,577 --> 01:29:41,169 No, stay out of it. 1102 01:29:41,379 --> 01:29:43,506 Oh, I'm sorry. I just had to say something. 1103 01:29:43,715 --> 01:29:45,684 I couldn't help myself. Go on. 1104 01:29:45,884 --> 01:29:47,374 Thank you. 1105 01:29:48,187 --> 01:29:53,318 Janey, you sald you couldn't believe in someone that didn't believe in you. 1106 01:29:53,559 --> 01:29:57,552 Well, I believed in you. I always believed in you. 1107 01:29:58,764 --> 01:29:59,924 Oh, Jake. 1108 01:30:00,766 --> 01:30:04,566 Oh, God. I can't believe you fell for that crap. 1109 01:30:04,770 --> 01:30:07,295 - That's Pretty in Pink. - Are you sure? 1110 01:30:08,007 --> 01:30:09,201 Trust me. 1111 01:30:09,408 --> 01:30:14,710 - Excuse me. What are you doing? - Let me give you some advice, Jake. 1112 01:30:14,913 --> 01:30:18,815 Lose the I'm-the-cute-and-sensitive- popular-boy routine. 1113 01:30:19,018 --> 01:30:20,076 It's pathetic. 1114 01:30:20,285 --> 01:30:23,550 And tell Janey what's true in your heart. 1115 01:30:23,756 --> 01:30:25,554 Stop belng such a little bitch. 1116 01:30:27,260 --> 01:30:28,488 But I was just trying to... 1117 01:30:28,695 --> 01:30:31,493 Don't even use that eyebrow move on me. It's not gonna work. 1118 01:30:31,698 --> 01:30:33,188 You do overuse that move. 1119 01:30:33,400 --> 01:30:34,799 And you. 1120 01:30:35,001 --> 01:30:38,732 Miss Other-Side-of-the-Tracks- Awkward-Rebel-With-Glasses. 1121 01:30:39,139 --> 01:30:43,633 Wise up to Jake's bullshit. Stop belng such a dumb-ass. 1122 01:30:47,147 --> 01:30:48,546 She's right. 1123 01:30:49,249 --> 01:30:51,444 - Janey... - Yes, Jake? 1124 01:30:54,154 --> 01:30:57,646 Maybe you should get on that plane and go to Paris. 1125 01:30:59,092 --> 01:31:02,755 Well, if you stay, we really only have the summer. 1126 01:31:02,996 --> 01:31:07,263 Then I go to college. We'll spend the occasional weekend together. 1127 01:31:07,468 --> 01:31:09,197 Which is nice. 1128 01:31:09,403 --> 01:31:13,897 But chances are, one night I'll get wrecked and have sex with some girl. 1129 01:31:14,141 --> 01:31:16,041 You'll call me a slut. 1130 01:31:16,310 --> 01:31:19,541 I'll call you a cock-tease, and we'll break up. 1131 01:31:19,747 --> 01:31:23,513 So when you really think about it, what's the point? 1132 01:31:26,520 --> 01:31:32,857 Well, that wasn't exactly the kind of truth I was expecting. 1133 01:31:33,994 --> 01:31:38,226 But I'm not gonna fall for it. How big a dumb-ass do you think I am? 1134 01:31:38,966 --> 01:31:42,060 You obviously stole that from Karate Kid. 1135 01:31:42,269 --> 01:31:44,066 No, actually, I... 1136 01:31:44,705 --> 01:31:47,641 Jake, it's okay. 1137 01:31:47,843 --> 01:31:49,504 I love you too. 1138 01:31:49,711 --> 01:31:51,508 We all know where this is going. 1139 01:31:51,713 --> 01:31:54,273 Fucking teenagers. 1140 01:32:03,859 --> 01:32:05,053 This is it. 1141 01:32:05,293 --> 01:32:06,760 The right moment. 1142 01:32:22,077 --> 01:32:23,567 Son of a bitch! 1143 01:32:40,296 --> 01:32:43,732 Well, Mitch, I learned a very valuable lesson. 1144 01:32:43,933 --> 01:32:46,868 I realized that I don't really wanna get involved with a girl... 1145 01:32:47,069 --> 01:32:48,969 ...unless I'm really in love with her. 1146 01:32:50,506 --> 01:32:51,939 Yeah. 1147 01:32:53,242 --> 01:32:56,268 Nice try, Ox. We know you took it in the ass. 1148 01:32:58,047 --> 01:33:01,574 Believe it or not, I, too, learned a valuable lesson. 1149 01:33:01,784 --> 01:33:04,014 Bruce, your accent. What happened? 1150 01:33:04,220 --> 01:33:06,849 You see, I realized that the best way to get the girl... 1151 01:33:07,057 --> 01:33:08,649 ...is to just be yourself. 1152 01:33:08,859 --> 01:33:12,886 For most people that would be a very valuable lesson. 1153 01:33:13,096 --> 01:33:15,997 But in your case, I'd stick to being Chinese. 1154 01:33:16,200 --> 01:33:17,531 Japanese. 1155 01:33:17,734 --> 01:33:19,224 So what'd you learn last night? 1156 01:33:19,670 --> 01:33:22,833 Gentlemen, I learned the greatest lesson of all. 1157 01:33:23,040 --> 01:33:25,474 That unlike everyone else in these teen movies... 1158 01:33:25,676 --> 01:33:28,668 ...I don't wanna learn some dumb-ass valuable lesson. 1159 01:33:28,879 --> 01:33:30,312 I still wanna fuck! 1160 01:33:30,514 --> 01:33:32,641 - Hey. - All right. 1161 01:39:32,084 --> 01:39:33,608 Ready? 1162 01:39:33,819 --> 01:39:35,810 And action! 1163 01:39:36,021 --> 01:39:38,046 Come on, Austin. 1164 01:39:39,425 --> 01:39:40,824 Holy shit! 1165 01:39:41,026 --> 01:39:43,324 I'm a fucking god!