1
00:00:31,197 --> 00:00:35,543
No, no, no. Sarah and I were arguing
three months after we were married.

2
00:00:36,494 --> 00:00:38,371
Arguments. Bad scenes.

3
00:00:39,330 --> 00:00:41,549
We were going to bed hating each other.

4
00:00:41,750 --> 00:00:45,675
Got so there was nothing but pain at home
and anger in me.

5
00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:47,881
Finally I said, "I'm moving out."

6
00:00:48,089 --> 00:00:50,968
She said, "Good." She wanted to live alone.

7
00:00:51,176 --> 00:00:53,975
I moved out, got my own apartment.

8
00:00:54,179 --> 00:00:57,433
Now, one day, I'm in the supermarket.

9
00:00:58,266 --> 00:01:00,644
I'm throwing
all kinds of shit into my basket.

10
00:01:00,852 --> 00:01:03,355
This woman comes up behind me
and she says,

11
00:01:03,563 --> 00:01:05,361
"You must have a station wagon."

12
00:01:05,565 --> 00:01:09,741
And I said,
"No, I've got a pickup. You need a ride?"

13
00:01:09,944 --> 00:01:11,571
She says, "Yeah."

14
00:01:11,780 --> 00:01:12,952
Sol give her a ride home,

15
00:01:13,156 --> 00:01:16,205
and I carry her groceries upstairs
to the apartment.

16
00:01:16,409 --> 00:01:20,130
Inside, sitting on the floor,
is a little boy watching TV.

17
00:01:21,164 --> 00:01:24,759
We sit around for a while
talking, drinking.

18
00:01:24,959 --> 00:01:27,929
The little boy gets up,
cooks himself supper,

19
00:01:28,129 --> 00:01:30,348
gives himself a bath, and goes to bed.

20
00:01:32,175 --> 00:01:34,428
We go to bed about midnight.

21
00:01:34,636 --> 00:01:38,686
Maybe, 4:00 in the morning,
I wake up thinking,

22
00:01:38,890 --> 00:01:41,769
"I didn't leave one woman
to jump in the sack with another."

23
00:01:41,976 --> 00:01:44,479
So I get up, I get dressed, and I leave.

24
00:01:44,687 --> 00:01:46,405
I'm just about to pull out of the driveway

25
00:01:46,606 --> 00:01:49,109
when this woman
comes running out, naked.

26
00:01:49,317 --> 00:01:51,536
She says, "Where are you going?"

27
00:01:51,736 --> 00:01:53,534
And I said, "Home."

28
00:01:53,738 --> 00:01:57,538
She said, "I'll come with you."
I said, "No, no, no. I'll phone you."

29
00:01:57,742 --> 00:01:59,915
And then she says, smiling,

30
00:02:01,454 --> 00:02:03,798
"Okay. Good night."

31
00:02:05,083 --> 00:02:07,381
Just like her little boy. Easy.

32
00:02:09,045 --> 00:02:12,299
Following afternoon when I woke up,
I know I wanted to see her.

33
00:02:12,507 --> 00:02:15,511
But I didn't know her number.
I didn't know her address.

34
00:02:15,718 --> 00:02:17,766
I didn't even know her name.

35
00:02:18,388 --> 00:02:20,390
So I went back to the supermarket.

36
00:02:20,598 --> 00:02:22,441
Went around the parking lot.

37
00:02:22,642 --> 00:02:25,316
I did this every day for a week.

38
00:02:26,729 --> 00:02:29,608
I kept remembering
the way she looked at me and said,

39
00:02:29,816 --> 00:02:31,944
"Okay. Good night."

40
00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:35,281
I really wanted to see her.

41
00:02:35,488 --> 00:02:38,082
But I don't think
I could have recognized her.

42
00:02:38,283 --> 00:02:40,331
When we met, she was wearing jeans.

43
00:02:40,535 --> 00:02:43,163
What if she walked up to me in a dress?

44
00:02:46,457 --> 00:02:47,970
Anyhow,

45
00:02:49,419 --> 00:02:51,262
I never saw her again.

46
00:02:53,131 --> 00:02:54,383
That's your love story?

47
00:02:56,843 --> 00:02:58,140
Do you still love her?

48
00:03:00,305 --> 00:03:02,023
How come you never told me that story?

49
00:03:03,391 --> 00:03:04,984
I'm not so sure it happened.

50
00:03:05,768 --> 00:03:07,441
I still look for her.

51
00:03:08,229 --> 00:03:09,909
Even now,
when Sarah sends me out shopping,

52
00:03:10,064 --> 00:03:11,862
she doesn't know the risk she's taking.

53
00:03:12,358 --> 00:03:15,282
Hey, I have an idea.
Why don't we all look for her?

54
00:03:15,486 --> 00:03:16,966
That can be the purpose of this club.

55
00:03:17,322 --> 00:03:19,575
Looking for Cavanaugh's woman.
What do you say?

56
00:03:20,658 --> 00:03:22,376
That's the whole story?

57
00:03:22,994 --> 00:03:24,211
Yeah.

58
00:03:25,496 --> 00:03:29,091
I fell in love with a woman
I couldn't find the next day.

59
00:06:12,455 --> 00:06:14,878
Tell me why not?
Just don't keep saying, "No."

60
00:06:15,083 --> 00:06:16,926
I'm very busy.

61
00:06:17,126 --> 00:06:18,548
That's your reason?

62
00:06:18,753 --> 00:06:20,300
I can give you a lot of reasons.

63
00:06:20,505 --> 00:06:22,803
Give me the real one.

64
00:06:23,007 --> 00:06:24,634
It embarrasses me.

65
00:06:24,842 --> 00:06:27,140
I mean the idea makes me laugh.

66
00:06:27,345 --> 00:06:29,598
Men getting together. What for?

67
00:06:30,848 --> 00:06:33,567
A women's group, I understand.
Politics, rights, wrongs.

68
00:06:33,768 --> 00:06:35,111
They got a lot to talk about.

69
00:06:35,311 --> 00:06:38,030
They talk about their anger,
how to live with it.

70
00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:41,735
Anyhow, being personal
with a roomful of strangers,

71
00:06:41,943 --> 00:06:43,069
it's not my style.

72
00:06:43,569 --> 00:06:44,786
Don't you hear me?

73
00:06:44,987 --> 00:06:47,615
I'm talking about a men's club.

74
00:06:47,824 --> 00:06:51,078
Regular guys. A lawyer, a real estate.

75
00:06:51,285 --> 00:06:52,423
A professor.

76
00:06:52,620 --> 00:06:53,997
Nobody's going to ask for your confession.

77
00:06:54,205 --> 00:06:55,725
Well, I see a high school locker room,

78
00:06:55,832 --> 00:06:59,632
naked boys snapping towels
at each other's balls, that kind of fun.

79
00:06:59,836 --> 00:07:02,760
We don't hang out with the boys.
We're past that.

80
00:07:07,343 --> 00:07:09,516
Anyhow, why me?

81
00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:11,597
How often do we see each other?

82
00:07:11,806 --> 00:07:13,967
Sometimes I see you
on the campus in a crowd of people,

83
00:07:14,016 --> 00:07:18,112
I open my mouth and nothing comes out.
I don't even say hello.

84
00:07:18,312 --> 00:07:20,360
And then you just disappear.

85
00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:26,197
Mr. Cavanaugh, I don't mean to interrupt,
but I get off duty in a few minutes.

86
00:07:26,404 --> 00:07:28,953
Can I have your autograph?
It's for my kid brother.

87
00:07:29,157 --> 00:07:32,036
Could you just sign the menu?
He'll be so thrilled.

88
00:07:32,952 --> 00:07:34,044
What's your name?

89
00:07:34,412 --> 00:07:36,039
Tanya. Thompson.

90
00:07:36,622 --> 00:07:38,545
I live in Mill Valley.

91
00:07:38,749 --> 00:07:40,137
My brother's name is Dickie.

92
00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:42,671
Baseball freak, eh?

93
00:07:43,379 --> 00:07:45,019
Do you know he's got this picture of you?

94
00:07:45,173 --> 00:07:47,141
It's like a poster on his wall.

95
00:07:47,884 --> 00:07:50,012
You're just flying through the air.

96
00:07:52,722 --> 00:07:54,099
That's how I think of you, too.

97
00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:56,901
- Flying through the air.
- Yeah?

98
00:07:57,101 --> 00:07:58,569
I was pretty good, you know?

99
00:07:58,769 --> 00:08:01,943
.320 lifetime. World Series ring.

100
00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:03,821
It's awfully gaudy, that thing.

101
00:08:04,025 --> 00:08:07,825
What are you talking about?
You never came to the games anyway.

102
00:08:09,363 --> 00:08:10,785
Let me tell you something.

103
00:08:10,990 --> 00:08:13,413
I came to games and never told you.

104
00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:16,708
You paid for tickets?

105
00:08:16,913 --> 00:08:19,666
I wanted to be your friend. Not your fan.

106
00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:22,586
You're an asshole.

107
00:08:22,793 --> 00:08:24,887
I could have gotten you in for nothing.

108
00:08:25,087 --> 00:08:26,304
You better come
to this meeting Wednesday night.

109
00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:28,975
I told them I was bringing a professor.

110
00:08:47,693 --> 00:08:49,787
Tanya Thompson, Mill Valley?

111
00:08:51,239 --> 00:08:54,038
No, I don't have the street address.

112
00:08:54,242 --> 00:08:56,961
No, Tanya with a "T," not a

113
00:08:58,204 --> 00:08:59,956
"T," like in "tits."

114
00:09:00,873 --> 00:09:04,343
God, you know,
I got so much shit on my tapes.

115
00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:06,137
I don't even know what I got.

116
00:09:06,337 --> 00:09:08,806
I mean, I put this one on at random.

117
00:09:10,007 --> 00:09:11,600
Do you tape all your patients?

118
00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:14,562
Well, somebody
could be telling me something.

119
00:09:14,762 --> 00:09:17,766
I'm not hearing 'em.
Later I play the tape, and I hear 'em.

120
00:09:18,307 --> 00:09:19,775
Why don't you hear 'em?

121
00:09:19,976 --> 00:09:22,195
How much does a person have to say?

122
00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:24,113
One thing, that's it.

123
00:09:24,313 --> 00:09:26,611
You know, how a person walks, he says it.

124
00:09:26,816 --> 00:09:29,444
How a person eats, he says it. I tune out.

125
00:09:29,652 --> 00:09:31,029
The machine is my ears.

126
00:09:31,737 --> 00:09:34,991
Well, if you didn't tape everything,
you'd remember.

127
00:09:35,658 --> 00:09:38,832
Hey, that's good. Better write that down.

128
00:09:39,036 --> 00:09:41,459
- It is good, isn't it?
- Yeah.

129
00:09:41,664 --> 00:09:44,042
What did I say?

130
00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:45,797
I don't remember.

131
00:09:47,378 --> 00:09:48,755
Hey, what's bothering you?

132
00:09:48,963 --> 00:09:51,512
You know that meeting Wednesday night.

133
00:09:51,716 --> 00:09:54,265
We're supposed to talk
to each other, right?

134
00:09:54,552 --> 00:09:57,180
Yeah. I mean, really talk. Man to man.

135
00:09:57,388 --> 00:09:58,981
A men's club, you dig?

136
00:09:59,181 --> 00:10:01,479
Well, why do you want to tape it?

137
00:10:03,394 --> 00:10:05,271
Well, that's what's bothering you?

138
00:10:05,479 --> 00:10:07,652
Yeah. I don't want a machine
listening to me, man.

139
00:10:07,857 --> 00:10:09,359
I want you listening.

140
00:10:09,567 --> 00:10:11,069
Like you said, man to man.

141
00:10:11,277 --> 00:10:13,200
It's hard enough talking to a person.

142
00:10:22,079 --> 00:10:23,797
Hey, bud!

143
00:10:27,209 --> 00:10:28,836
You do it good.

144
00:10:32,048 --> 00:10:33,846
I've been watching you.

145
00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:38,187
Help me park my car.

146
00:10:40,097 --> 00:10:41,269
Please.

147
00:10:49,940 --> 00:10:52,204
You don't have to tell me you got trouble.

148
00:10:52,401 --> 00:10:53,789
I can see it.

149
00:10:55,696 --> 00:10:57,039
I mean, when it comes
to screwing things up,

150
00:10:57,239 --> 00:11:00,379
or things going wrong, I am the boss.
The leader, the king.

151
00:11:01,619 --> 00:11:03,997
I flew down here
from California to make a deal,

152
00:11:04,205 --> 00:11:07,209
upon which many other deals are hanging.

153
00:11:07,416 --> 00:11:10,795
I mean, there is money moving in California
that's gonna fall flat on its ass

154
00:11:11,003 --> 00:11:12,926
if other money isn't moving here
in Baton Rouge.

155
00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:16,513
Nothing is happening.

156
00:11:16,717 --> 00:11:19,561
I mean, these guys stick me
in a waiting room,

157
00:11:19,762 --> 00:11:21,083
I'm sitting in this waiting room.

158
00:11:21,222 --> 00:11:23,224
They come out and tell me
that the trade is off.

159
00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:26,190
They humiliated me.

160
00:13:19,131 --> 00:13:20,804
<i>Dear Harold,</i>

161
00:13:21,008 --> 00:13:22,931
<i>after six years of psychoanalysis,</i>

162
00:13:23,135 --> 00:13:26,639
<i>I have finally found out who I really am.</i>

163
00:13:26,847 --> 00:13:30,067
<i>I know how surprised
you might feel this moment.</i>

164
00:13:30,267 --> 00:13:32,861
<i>I am also surprised.</i>

165
00:13:33,062 --> 00:13:35,531
<i>I hope you can appreciate
how surprising it is for a person</i>

166
00:13:35,731 --> 00:13:38,280
<i>to discover who she really is.</i>

167
00:13:40,027 --> 00:13:41,654
<i>It's very surprising.</i>

168
00:13:41,862 --> 00:13:44,206
<i>You can keep the furniture.</i>

169
00:13:44,406 --> 00:13:46,625
<i>I've taken some duplicates.</i>

170
00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:49,295
<i>Sincerely, Daisy.</i>

171
00:13:49,495 --> 00:13:52,590
<i>P.S. There's some tuna fish
in the refrigerator.</i>

172
00:13:52,790 --> 00:13:54,792
<i>I mean, the kitchen.</i>

173
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:57,094
<i>I've taken the refrigerator.</i>

174
00:14:31,287 --> 00:14:33,210
- What are you doing to me?
- Sorry.

175
00:14:33,414 --> 00:14:35,963
Get off, get off! Get off me!

176
00:14:37,001 --> 00:14:38,127
Jesus.

177
00:14:39,628 --> 00:14:43,929
What is the matter with you?
Can't you even sleep like a normal person?

178
00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:47,433
I gotta get up in the morning with the kids.
You know that. I...

179
00:14:48,220 --> 00:14:50,314
I need my sleep.

180
00:14:50,514 --> 00:14:51,902
I'm so tired.

181
00:14:59,106 --> 00:15:02,406
Don't ever do that to me again.
You really scared me.

182
00:15:06,363 --> 00:15:08,365
Tomorrow night, okay?

183
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:15,586
Tomorrow night, baby.

184
00:15:15,789 --> 00:15:19,839
I'll get a good night's sleep,
and we'll make love.

185
00:15:22,129 --> 00:15:24,006
I'm going to sleep now.

186
00:15:34,516 --> 00:15:36,814
How am I going to write you a letter?

187
00:15:37,019 --> 00:15:38,612
I don't even know your address.

188
00:15:54,745 --> 00:15:58,841
It says here you checked out, Mister.
Are you staying another day?

189
00:16:02,169 --> 00:16:03,591
Check me out.

190
00:16:15,516 --> 00:16:18,690
I have appointment with Dr. Baker.

191
00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:24,237
There's no Dr. Baker in this place, hooch,

192
00:16:24,441 --> 00:16:25,829
so just haul your ass out of here,

193
00:16:26,026 --> 00:16:29,530
and you take your jive
to another emergency room.

194
00:16:29,738 --> 00:16:31,411
Won't I do?

195
00:16:31,615 --> 00:16:33,003
Doctor, she is trouble.

196
00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:34,827
Are you a doctor?

197
00:16:35,035 --> 00:16:36,252
I work here.

198
00:16:37,121 --> 00:16:40,421
Dumb job, if you ask me.
Most of those people out there are sick.

199
00:16:40,624 --> 00:16:41,967
<i>It's messy.</i>

200
00:16:42,167 --> 00:16:43,840
Yeah, well, I wear old clothes.

201
00:16:44,044 --> 00:16:46,467
<i>Doctor, emergency entrance, please.</i>

202
00:16:48,298 --> 00:16:51,552
I had one drink, and I
fell down the stairs.

203
00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:53,603
I don't know how it happened, Doctor.

204
00:16:53,804 --> 00:16:55,021
I mean, one hears about these things,

205
00:16:55,222 --> 00:16:57,850
yet you never imagine
it might happen to oneself.

206
00:16:58,058 --> 00:17:00,527
It's like a little death, isn't it?

207
00:17:00,728 --> 00:17:03,698
And me, of all people.
I don't even catch cold.

208
00:17:03,897 --> 00:17:04,864
Can you move?

209
00:17:05,357 --> 00:17:07,200
No, no, I don't think so.

210
00:17:07,401 --> 00:17:09,074
I've seen this before.

211
00:17:09,278 --> 00:17:12,703
Usually with women or children
in cases of severe shock.

212
00:17:12,906 --> 00:17:13,953
Kathy, get the ice.

213
00:17:14,158 --> 00:17:15,626
- Big bag?
- Yeah.

214
00:17:16,952 --> 00:17:18,670
Lie very still.

215
00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:21,499
- Don't move.
- I can't move.

216
00:17:21,707 --> 00:17:23,175
I'm paralyzed.

217
00:17:28,756 --> 00:17:32,761
Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

218
00:17:32,968 --> 00:17:34,766
Oh, my God! Are you crazy?

219
00:17:34,970 --> 00:17:36,563
What is this place, a torture chamber?

220
00:17:36,764 --> 00:17:38,766
I told you, I'm paralyzed!

221
00:17:46,732 --> 00:17:48,359
Thank you, Doctor.

222
00:17:50,235 --> 00:17:52,704
You'll do anything
if I give you a prescription?

223
00:17:53,322 --> 00:17:55,450
Anything.

224
00:17:55,657 --> 00:17:57,330
Anything, Doctor.

225
00:17:57,534 --> 00:18:00,083
I am the queen of kink.

226
00:18:00,287 --> 00:18:03,507
I will do anything you dare say out loud.

227
00:18:04,249 --> 00:18:05,512
Okay.

228
00:18:07,961 --> 00:18:09,963
Play the game one more time.

229
00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:14,598
Just once more.

230
00:18:15,552 --> 00:18:21,230
Five, nine, 17, 41, hot dog, nine, 66,

231
00:18:21,433 --> 00:18:23,652
banana pie, ten, three, zero.

232
00:18:23,852 --> 00:18:25,946
I want it backwards this time,
and I want it fast.

233
00:18:26,730 --> 00:18:30,735
Zero, three, ten, banana pie, 66, nine,
hot dog, 41, 17, nine, five.

234
00:18:32,194 --> 00:18:33,537
You're a genius!

235
00:18:34,029 --> 00:18:36,657
Come on, man, give me a scrip.

236
00:18:38,867 --> 00:18:39,868
I don't know, Felicia.

237
00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:46,380
I tell you, I was beginning to think
you and I had something here, you know?

238
00:18:46,583 --> 00:18:49,803
Some sort of friendship, or even love.

239
00:18:50,003 --> 00:18:54,133
The way a man shows his love
is a test of his character.

240
00:18:55,717 --> 00:18:57,014
Do you really believe that?

241
00:18:57,636 --> 00:19:01,015
Yeah. And you've got no character.

242
00:19:01,223 --> 00:19:02,725
Give me a scrip!

243
00:19:09,022 --> 00:19:10,820
Take off your clothes.

244
00:19:14,653 --> 00:19:17,998
Damn it, damn it, damn it!
I forgot to put the coffee on!

245
00:19:18,198 --> 00:19:20,997
They're out there talking and I just
want to hear what they're saying.

246
00:19:21,201 --> 00:19:22,623
Hannah, Hannah, Hannah.

247
00:19:22,828 --> 00:19:25,549
You go bed, Phoebe honey.
What are you doing keeping her up, Phillip?

248
00:19:25,706 --> 00:19:27,049
God, I have to do everything?

249
00:19:27,249 --> 00:19:30,298
Hannah, I'm making the coffee.
Just go back in.

250
00:19:30,502 --> 00:19:32,254
Well, not too strong.

251
00:19:33,964 --> 00:19:36,558
And put her to bed now, okay?

252
00:19:36,758 --> 00:19:39,477
- Please?
- As soon as I finish cleaning up.

253
00:19:41,513 --> 00:19:43,732
- Thanks.
- You're welcome.

254
00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:47,903
Kiss Mommy.

255
00:19:56,361 --> 00:19:59,285
You all set for Wednesday night?

256
00:19:59,489 --> 00:20:03,915
Well, I got a guy driving in from San Jose,
another one from San Francisco.

257
00:20:04,119 --> 00:20:05,336
How about you? Are you coming?

258
00:20:05,787 --> 00:20:08,415
Cavanaugh, I don't know.

259
00:20:09,833 --> 00:20:11,346
All right, give me the address again.

260
00:20:11,543 --> 00:20:13,386
Only you could drag me
to something like this.

261
00:20:13,587 --> 00:20:15,760
It's not so easy getting out
of the house, you know?

262
00:20:15,964 --> 00:20:18,683
<i>You just open the door, and you're out.</i>

263
00:20:18,884 --> 00:20:19,931
<i>Kramer's house.</i>

264
00:20:20,594 --> 00:20:22,517
222 Green Street.

265
00:20:22,721 --> 00:20:25,941
Listen, you might even have a little fun.

266
00:20:26,141 --> 00:20:28,018
Come on, Phillip. Do it.

267
00:20:29,853 --> 00:20:31,070
Do it.

268
00:20:33,190 --> 00:20:34,908
I'll think about it.

269
00:20:39,404 --> 00:20:40,872
Wait a minute!

270
00:20:42,741 --> 00:20:44,584
You saying... You're telling us

271
00:20:44,785 --> 00:20:47,880
you wouldn't be jealous
if she made it with another guy.

272
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:50,048
- Jealous?
- Yeah, jealous.

273
00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:52,627
No, man, I'm liberated.

274
00:20:52,834 --> 00:20:54,051
What the hell does that mean?

275
00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:55,971
I don't feel anything!

276
00:20:57,172 --> 00:20:59,174
Being liberated means
you don't feel anything?

277
00:20:59,675 --> 00:21:00,927
Yeah.

278
00:21:03,178 --> 00:21:04,304
I'm liberated.

279
00:21:04,763 --> 00:21:05,980
You don't feel anything?

280
00:21:06,390 --> 00:21:08,267
Once, I felt something.

281
00:21:09,184 --> 00:21:10,310
Tell us about that.

282
00:21:11,937 --> 00:21:14,781
Tell us about that. Tell us about
the time that you felt something.

283
00:21:15,983 --> 00:21:18,657
- Everybody wanna hear?
- Yeah.

284
00:21:18,860 --> 00:21:20,954
All right. We were

285
00:21:22,447 --> 00:21:23,539
in a...

286
00:21:23,740 --> 00:21:28,211
We had rented a cabin
in the mountains near Tahoe. A ski cabin.

287
00:21:29,496 --> 00:21:32,966
The first night we got a little drunk
after dinner, and somebody...

288
00:21:33,166 --> 00:21:34,383
Maybe me.

289
00:21:35,919 --> 00:21:36,920
Yeah, me.

290
00:21:37,129 --> 00:21:39,257
I said, "Let's trade partners."

291
00:21:39,464 --> 00:21:41,057
- It was my own idea, right?
- Yeah.

292
00:21:41,258 --> 00:21:42,976
Okay, so we traded.

293
00:21:43,176 --> 00:21:45,565
It was okay, it wasn't the first time.
We did it.

294
00:21:45,762 --> 00:21:48,561
But then, I heard my wife moaning.

295
00:21:48,765 --> 00:21:49,937
She was overdoing it,
you know what I mean?

296
00:21:50,142 --> 00:21:52,110
She was moaning with love.

297
00:21:52,311 --> 00:21:53,403
Love?

298
00:21:53,603 --> 00:21:54,991
Yeah. Moaning with love.

299
00:21:57,441 --> 00:21:59,409
Did it ruin your weekend?

300
00:22:01,153 --> 00:22:02,951
It was horrible, man.

301
00:22:03,655 --> 00:22:05,373
I lost my erection.

302
00:22:06,783 --> 00:22:09,377
I was humiliated. I ran...

303
00:22:09,578 --> 00:22:11,296
I ran outside the cabin!

304
00:22:11,496 --> 00:22:13,294
I sat on a rock, and she...

305
00:22:13,498 --> 00:22:17,002
She's hollering through the door,
"Solly! Solly Berliner!"

306
00:22:17,210 --> 00:22:19,429
So she comes outside. She's laughing!

307
00:22:19,629 --> 00:22:21,677
As she finds me, she says

308
00:22:21,882 --> 00:22:23,725
it's not her fault. It was my idea.

309
00:22:23,925 --> 00:22:25,723
I hit her, I said, "That's my idea, too!"

310
00:22:30,098 --> 00:22:31,816
She started crying.

311
00:22:33,018 --> 00:22:36,192
Soon as she started crying,
my erection came back!

312
00:22:37,522 --> 00:22:38,865
So then what happened?

313
00:22:39,358 --> 00:22:41,577
You know what happened.
I mean, it's a cliché.

314
00:22:41,777 --> 00:22:43,450
She hit him and they made it together.

315
00:22:44,071 --> 00:22:46,620
How do you know?
How do you know everything?

316
00:22:46,823 --> 00:22:48,871
I'm telling what happened to me! Me!

317
00:22:49,493 --> 00:22:51,245
All right. All right.

318
00:22:52,412 --> 00:22:53,504
What happened next?

319
00:22:58,001 --> 00:23:00,470
She hit me and we made it together!

320
00:23:02,714 --> 00:23:04,808
It's a love story, isn't it?

321
00:23:07,177 --> 00:23:08,474
You guys call it love.

322
00:23:08,678 --> 00:23:11,352
I call it stories about the other woman.

323
00:23:12,599 --> 00:23:14,160
Moaning, just moaning, she's your wife.

324
00:23:14,309 --> 00:23:17,188
But moaning with love,
she becomes the other woman.

325
00:23:17,396 --> 00:23:20,240
You all think
that only the other woman is interesting.

326
00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:23,284
What, are you trying to tell us
that we don't love our own wives?

327
00:23:23,819 --> 00:23:26,493
Yeah, 'cause if that's what you're trying
to say, you're right.

328
00:23:26,696 --> 00:23:28,118
I hate my wife.

329
00:23:31,368 --> 00:23:35,168
All right, let me talk.
I wanna tell a love story.

330
00:23:35,372 --> 00:23:38,296
Go, man. Sings the blues.

331
00:23:38,500 --> 00:23:43,472
Okay, when I was in college,
I roomed with a woman named Marilyn.

332
00:23:43,672 --> 00:23:44,889
All right?

333
00:23:45,090 --> 00:23:48,060
Now, we went everywhere together.
Movies, concerts, parties.

334
00:23:48,844 --> 00:23:51,563
But there was nothing sexual between us.

335
00:23:54,182 --> 00:23:56,105
We were too close.

336
00:23:56,309 --> 00:23:58,311
It would have been a crime.

337
00:24:00,605 --> 00:24:03,575
One night, Marilyn invites
a girlfriend home to dinner,

338
00:24:03,775 --> 00:24:05,448
who looks something like her.

339
00:24:05,652 --> 00:24:08,781
Same curly, brown hair, same blue eyes.

340
00:24:08,989 --> 00:24:11,742
Before dinner's over,
Marilyn excuses herself, and leaves.

341
00:24:11,950 --> 00:24:14,669
The girlfriend and I are left alone.

342
00:24:14,870 --> 00:24:16,087
It is glorious.

343
00:24:17,372 --> 00:24:20,842
The next day, Marilyn says
that I acted badly at dinner,

344
00:24:21,042 --> 00:24:24,421
practically forcing her out
of her own apartment

345
00:24:24,629 --> 00:24:27,257
I say, "I thought you
left as a favor to me."

346
00:24:27,466 --> 00:24:29,889
She said, "I left
because you made it extremely obvious"

347
00:24:30,093 --> 00:24:32,516
"that you wanted me out of here."

348
00:24:32,721 --> 00:24:35,565
"Why don't you just admit
that you find me disgusting physically?"

349
00:24:35,765 --> 00:24:37,563
"That you always have?"

350
00:24:38,560 --> 00:24:40,528
So I sit down next to her on the couch.

351
00:24:40,729 --> 00:24:42,322
She says, "Get away from me, you pig!"

352
00:24:42,522 --> 00:24:44,445
Jumps up, storms into the bathroom.

353
00:24:44,649 --> 00:24:46,913
I hear her in there, slamming around,

354
00:24:47,110 --> 00:24:50,831
bottles are toppling out
of the medicine cabinet, smashing.

355
00:24:51,031 --> 00:24:53,409
Then she comes out. She's wearing a robe,

356
00:24:53,617 --> 00:24:56,461
nothing underneath, and the robe is open.

357
00:24:57,579 --> 00:25:00,002
And she stands there,

358
00:25:00,207 --> 00:25:02,835
she accuses me of things that

359
00:25:03,043 --> 00:25:06,422
I couldn't have imagined,
let alone thought about her.

360
00:25:08,340 --> 00:25:11,719
Suddenly, I am full of a new feeling.

361
00:25:13,470 --> 00:25:16,144
It's not what a normal person
would call "sexual feeling."

362
00:25:17,474 --> 00:25:20,068
What does your dick know?
It's not a connoisseur of normal sex.

363
00:25:20,727 --> 00:25:23,446
So I find myself
leaping off the couch, grabbing her.

364
00:25:23,647 --> 00:25:25,240
She's twisting, she's trying to hit me,

365
00:25:25,440 --> 00:25:27,568
I mean, she's seriously trying to hurt me.

366
00:25:28,485 --> 00:25:31,910
Then, she begins to collapse,
slides to the floor.

367
00:25:33,657 --> 00:25:38,037
I'm on top of her. I'm in my clothes,
she's laying on her open robe.

368
00:25:39,913 --> 00:25:42,166
It's supernaturally exciting.

369
00:25:42,374 --> 00:25:45,173
We're both just shivering, wild.

370
00:25:47,003 --> 00:25:49,176
We just fall asleep like that.

371
00:25:51,675 --> 00:25:54,394
I wake, and I feel her moving.

372
00:25:54,594 --> 00:25:56,938
We look at each other.

373
00:25:57,138 --> 00:25:58,856
Then she says,

374
00:25:59,057 --> 00:26:01,435
"This is very discouraging."

375
00:26:01,643 --> 00:26:05,022
She gets up and goes to the bedroom
and shuts the door.

376
00:26:05,814 --> 00:26:07,908
I knock. She opens the door.

377
00:26:09,526 --> 00:26:11,779
She lets me kiss her,

378
00:26:11,987 --> 00:26:13,614
and shuts the door.

379
00:26:14,864 --> 00:26:16,958
And I move out the next day.

380
00:26:20,662 --> 00:26:21,879
I like Marilyn.

381
00:26:22,080 --> 00:26:23,423
I always like the other girl.

382
00:26:27,836 --> 00:26:31,932
There was a woman who used to like
to taste my food in restaurants.

383
00:26:32,757 --> 00:26:34,851
I went out with her for months.
I almost married her.

384
00:26:35,051 --> 00:26:36,314
She liked to taste your food?

385
00:26:36,511 --> 00:26:40,141
Deborah Zeller.
Graduate student in anthropology.

386
00:26:40,348 --> 00:26:41,816
Maybe you knew her. She was a...

387
00:26:42,017 --> 00:26:44,896
She lectured a lot,
she had black hair like a swarm of bees.

388
00:26:45,103 --> 00:26:47,731
So, what about Deborah Zeller?

389
00:26:47,939 --> 00:26:49,612
Oh, God.

390
00:26:51,276 --> 00:26:53,028
I'm ashamed.

391
00:26:53,236 --> 00:26:55,204
Man, come on.

392
00:26:55,405 --> 00:26:58,705
This is the 20th century.
You can't feel shame.

393
00:26:58,908 --> 00:27:02,879
Listen, people start feeling shame,
psychotherapists will go out of business.

394
00:27:03,913 --> 00:27:05,714
Kramer, I'm glad
I'm not one of your patients.

395
00:27:05,874 --> 00:27:08,002
Or what is it you call
them, your "clients?"

396
00:27:08,209 --> 00:27:10,803
They're sniveling creeps, if you ask me.

397
00:27:11,004 --> 00:27:13,632
My patients are not sniveling creeps.

398
00:27:13,840 --> 00:27:16,810
You know, they come to me in pain.

399
00:27:17,636 --> 00:27:18,888
I get rid of the pain for them.

400
00:27:19,095 --> 00:27:22,474
Yes, yes, I know that you get rid of it,
and everything goes with it, doesn't it?

401
00:27:22,682 --> 00:27:24,309
And I know what I'm talking
about because my wife

402
00:27:24,517 --> 00:27:26,690
was in psychoanalysis for six years.

403
00:27:26,895 --> 00:27:29,944
And that's so she could find out
who she really was,

404
00:27:30,148 --> 00:27:31,428
a greedy little furniture thief.

405
00:27:31,608 --> 00:27:33,281
I came home to an empty house.

406
00:27:33,693 --> 00:27:35,445
Women are practical.

407
00:27:36,488 --> 00:27:37,580
When I can't sleep,

408
00:27:37,781 --> 00:27:40,751
I wake up my wife,
and give her a little nookie.

409
00:27:42,118 --> 00:27:43,085
Yeah.

410
00:27:43,286 --> 00:27:45,789
Then I conk right out.

411
00:27:45,997 --> 00:27:47,795
The marriage bed has its benefits.

412
00:27:47,999 --> 00:27:49,421
He's right. He's right.

413
00:27:49,626 --> 00:27:50,627
That's for sure.

414
00:27:50,835 --> 00:27:53,195
But it's different
when you're working it with another girl.

415
00:27:53,213 --> 00:27:54,886
The time, the time.

416
00:27:55,256 --> 00:27:57,224
The conversation.

417
00:27:57,425 --> 00:27:59,974
The kissing. I hate kissing.

418
00:28:00,178 --> 00:28:01,896
Reminds me of Sarah.

419
00:28:02,931 --> 00:28:05,980
I drive home every time saying,
"I'm never gonna do this again."

420
00:28:06,184 --> 00:28:07,606
But I do it again.

421
00:28:07,811 --> 00:28:11,406
That's 'cause you lie to Sarah.

422
00:28:11,606 --> 00:28:13,779
Now, that's why you can't sleep.

423
00:28:13,983 --> 00:28:16,406
I don't lie to her, I lie to me.

424
00:28:16,611 --> 00:28:18,079
I'm out screwing around, right?

425
00:28:18,279 --> 00:28:19,952
I can't wait to get home.

426
00:28:20,156 --> 00:28:22,659
I get home, dinner is set,

427
00:28:22,867 --> 00:28:25,586
table is ready,
kids are all cleaned up waiting for me,

428
00:28:25,787 --> 00:28:27,710
Sarah looks great.

429
00:28:27,914 --> 00:28:30,417
There's a nice little jar
of daisies sitting on the table.

430
00:28:30,625 --> 00:28:32,466
I mean, it's just the way
it should be, right?

431
00:28:32,544 --> 00:28:34,046
It's perfect.

432
00:28:34,254 --> 00:28:35,346
We start to eat.

433
00:28:35,547 --> 00:28:38,300
I get the fork
about two inches away from my face,

434
00:28:38,508 --> 00:28:40,852
and I get a nice little whiff of cunt.

435
00:28:41,594 --> 00:28:42,811
And what do I do?

436
00:28:43,888 --> 00:28:47,643
I say, "Sarah,
get those goddamn daisies off the table."

437
00:28:47,851 --> 00:28:51,572
"They're taking up too much room.
We can't eat with daisies!"

438
00:28:54,691 --> 00:28:56,238
I like daisies.

439
00:28:57,902 --> 00:29:00,325
This is what I'm telling her to do.

440
00:29:02,949 --> 00:29:04,246
Not this way with you, huh?

441
00:29:05,660 --> 00:29:07,173
No.

442
00:29:07,370 --> 00:29:10,214
You have no kids.
You haven't paid your dues.

443
00:29:10,707 --> 00:29:13,210
For you, bullshit is a way of life.

444
00:29:16,880 --> 00:29:18,553
Let's not get personal, Cavanaugh.

445
00:29:20,175 --> 00:29:23,099
I hope I'm not getting personal,
but I'm hungry.

446
00:29:23,303 --> 00:29:24,429
Is there anything to eat?

447
00:29:26,431 --> 00:29:28,183
Terry is hungry.

448
00:29:28,391 --> 00:29:31,611
And I believe him,
because I, too, am hungry.

449
00:29:31,811 --> 00:29:35,315
And, guys, you are in luck!

450
00:29:35,523 --> 00:29:37,617
Because, tomorrow,

451
00:29:37,817 --> 00:29:40,616
Nancy is having a luncheon meeting
of her women's group.

452
00:29:40,820 --> 00:29:43,289
- And the refrigerator happens to be packed.
- Oh, man!

453
00:29:43,490 --> 00:29:44,537
Now, let me itemize.

454
00:29:44,741 --> 00:29:46,163
There's different kinds of salad.

455
00:29:46,367 --> 00:29:49,871
There's chicken, turkey.
There's a cold, poached salmon.

456
00:29:50,914 --> 00:29:53,383
And there's pecan pie.

457
00:29:54,375 --> 00:29:56,093
I love pecan pie!

458
00:30:05,887 --> 00:30:06,854
You guy are animals.

459
00:30:07,263 --> 00:30:08,389
Wait a minute, Berliner.

460
00:30:08,598 --> 00:30:11,477
Now, look, there's two lemon pies.

461
00:30:11,684 --> 00:30:13,357
There is a chocolate cake...

462
00:30:20,276 --> 00:30:21,949
There we go!

463
00:30:24,739 --> 00:30:29,586
Gentlemen, I offer you
this food and this Zinfandel!

464
00:30:31,329 --> 00:30:33,331
This is a wonderful club.

465
00:30:34,958 --> 00:30:37,177
This is a wonderful club!

466
00:30:48,429 --> 00:30:50,773
This table, where did you get this table?

467
00:30:50,974 --> 00:30:54,069
I bought it at an auction.
I used tung oil on it.

468
00:30:54,269 --> 00:30:55,566
You licked the table?

469
00:30:55,770 --> 00:30:57,317
Kramer, you know how to run the club.

470
00:30:57,522 --> 00:31:00,992
This is more than a club,
this is a symposium.

471
00:31:01,192 --> 00:31:03,365
But, I mean, we've got great food,
we've got drink.

472
00:31:03,570 --> 00:31:05,322
- We've got talk.
- Yeah.

473
00:31:05,530 --> 00:31:06,810
But we lack something, you know.

474
00:31:07,782 --> 00:31:09,659
We lack entertainment.

475
00:31:09,868 --> 00:31:10,790
We don't lack anything.

476
00:31:10,994 --> 00:31:13,838
I'm glad you reminded me.
Don't anybody move.

477
00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:24,929
What you are about to see, gentlemen,

478
00:31:25,133 --> 00:31:28,182
comes to you from the mysterious east,

479
00:31:28,386 --> 00:31:34,610
where I was first introduced to this
fantastic spectacle of flying steel.

480
00:31:34,809 --> 00:31:35,731
You're not gonna...

481
00:31:42,692 --> 00:31:44,945
Is that a neat thing.

482
00:31:45,153 --> 00:31:46,700
Instruments of perfect beauty,

483
00:31:47,447 --> 00:31:49,950
balance, and...

484
00:31:51,868 --> 00:31:53,495
Death.

485
00:31:54,871 --> 00:31:55,793
Wow.

486
00:31:55,997 --> 00:31:58,716
I won 'em playing poker
in Okinawa with some Marines.

487
00:31:58,917 --> 00:32:00,669
They're very pretty.

488
00:32:00,877 --> 00:32:04,381
They're handmade throwing knives.
Perfectly balanced.

489
00:32:04,589 --> 00:32:07,638
They remind me of my wife.
She's pretty, too.

490
00:32:08,343 --> 00:32:09,344
She's like a knife?

491
00:32:10,136 --> 00:32:11,228
No, she's just pretty.

492
00:32:12,847 --> 00:32:14,941
Big deal. Women are pretty.

493
00:32:17,143 --> 00:32:18,611
She looks pretty, she moves pretty.

494
00:32:18,811 --> 00:32:20,859
She sits cross-legged on the bed
in the middle of the night

495
00:32:21,064 --> 00:32:24,864
and brushes her hair.
I watch her do it, every night.

496
00:32:25,068 --> 00:32:27,912
You know, if I made it with another woman,
it would degrade Hannah.

497
00:32:28,529 --> 00:32:30,076
What if you didn't tell her?

498
00:32:30,949 --> 00:32:32,371
She'd get sick.

499
00:32:32,742 --> 00:32:35,495
Yeah, she'd get sick. She'd get very sick.

500
00:32:35,703 --> 00:32:37,171
She'd need an operation.

501
00:32:41,584 --> 00:32:45,680
For me, one woman makes
another woman necessary.

502
00:32:47,215 --> 00:32:49,575
Remember how I show up
at those parties with Miss Beautiful?

503
00:32:49,759 --> 00:32:52,763
And in 10 minutes, I'll be looking
at every other woman in the room.

504
00:32:52,971 --> 00:32:55,850
I'd feel trapped for the evening.

505
00:32:56,057 --> 00:32:57,400
Tough, eh?

506
00:32:58,893 --> 00:33:01,442
I don't have to tell you what I did
on the road when I was playing ball.

507
00:33:01,646 --> 00:33:03,046
You'd make it with 10,000 groupies.

508
00:33:03,147 --> 00:33:04,148
You're close.

509
00:33:05,900 --> 00:33:08,494
You lack inner resources.

510
00:33:08,695 --> 00:33:10,789
It's not a serious condition.

511
00:33:11,781 --> 00:33:13,283
I love to fuck!

512
00:33:15,451 --> 00:33:17,169
That's serious.

513
00:33:17,370 --> 00:33:20,544
It's gonna be on my gravestone.
"He loved to fuck."

514
00:33:24,043 --> 00:33:26,091
Personally,

515
00:33:26,295 --> 00:33:28,172
I prefer courtship.

516
00:33:28,381 --> 00:33:30,008
I never did much courtship, but like...

517
00:33:31,759 --> 00:33:35,104
I met this woman in Baton Rouge
in a motel parking lot.

518
00:33:35,304 --> 00:33:37,102
Drunk, leaning up against her car,
she couldn't park it right

519
00:33:37,306 --> 00:33:39,400
and she asked me to do it for her.

520
00:33:39,600 --> 00:33:43,070
So, I'm giving her back the keys,

521
00:33:43,271 --> 00:33:45,945
and she says,
"We got nothing in common, bud,"

522
00:33:46,149 --> 00:33:48,368
"so don't make any moves on me."

523
00:33:49,402 --> 00:33:53,202
Later she comes back to my room,
I couldn't do anything wrong.

524
00:33:54,407 --> 00:33:56,580
She kissed me,

525
00:33:57,869 --> 00:34:00,122
and put her tongue in my mouth.

526
00:34:01,497 --> 00:34:03,295
That's all that happened?

527
00:34:03,499 --> 00:34:04,466
Everything happened,

528
00:34:04,667 --> 00:34:06,135
but the thing is,

529
00:34:07,336 --> 00:34:08,758
she liked me.

530
00:34:12,759 --> 00:34:14,386
I kissed her, too.

531
00:34:15,219 --> 00:34:16,436
Same way.

532
00:34:17,805 --> 00:34:19,933
I think she really liked me.

533
00:34:21,142 --> 00:34:25,648
Later, when I came home, I told Sheila
I had to talk to her about something.

534
00:34:25,855 --> 00:34:27,698
She said, "Okay, talk."

535
00:34:28,816 --> 00:34:32,195
So I lay down on the floor,
with my suitcases and everything.

536
00:34:32,403 --> 00:34:35,828
She's looking at me
like I'm playing some joke.

537
00:34:36,032 --> 00:34:38,330
I said, "Come down here."

538
00:34:38,534 --> 00:34:40,161
She's half-smiling.

539
00:34:41,537 --> 00:34:44,507
But she drops down on her knees.
She's humoring me.

540
00:34:46,125 --> 00:34:47,968
She says, "Okay, talk."

541
00:34:49,504 --> 00:34:51,882
"What? You buy into the property?"

542
00:34:53,591 --> 00:34:55,343
I said, "Kiss me."

543
00:34:56,260 --> 00:34:58,479
"Put your tongue in my mouth."

544
00:35:00,348 --> 00:35:03,067
She looks at me, a long time,

545
00:35:04,727 --> 00:35:05,944
and says,

546
00:35:08,147 --> 00:35:09,615
"I will not."

547
00:35:14,946 --> 00:35:16,698
I wanted to punch her right in the head.

548
00:35:18,825 --> 00:35:22,204
I understood then the whole problem
with our marriage.

549
00:35:23,996 --> 00:35:25,873
Sheila doesn't like me.

550
00:35:32,421 --> 00:35:34,139
You didn't know your wife didn't like you?

551
00:35:36,801 --> 00:35:38,394
I don't know.

552
00:35:39,303 --> 00:35:43,228
I didn't really understand
until I met the woman in Baton Rouge.

553
00:35:44,392 --> 00:35:46,315
She put her tongue in your mouth.

554
00:35:46,519 --> 00:35:48,192
That's how you knew.

555
00:35:50,106 --> 00:35:51,528
It was words.

556
00:35:53,234 --> 00:35:56,113
How come I didn't have the words
until then?

557
00:35:58,573 --> 00:36:00,792
I knew a woman like yours.

558
00:36:00,992 --> 00:36:04,371
I was alone in the emergency room,
except for a nurse.

559
00:36:04,579 --> 00:36:08,425
And suddenly, this gorgeous
Latino appears, coming down the hall.

560
00:36:08,624 --> 00:36:11,548
She had on high heels, short skirt,

561
00:36:11,752 --> 00:36:13,345
jewelry, rings.

562
00:36:13,546 --> 00:36:15,924
Like the emergency room
was her place to go dancing.

563
00:36:16,799 --> 00:36:19,018
She was nothing like the girl I met.

564
00:36:19,760 --> 00:36:21,273
Yes, she was.

565
00:36:21,470 --> 00:36:23,097
She liked me. We became friends.

566
00:36:23,306 --> 00:36:25,058
Praise the Lord!

567
00:36:28,644 --> 00:36:30,612
Ignore me. Go on, please.

568
00:36:31,814 --> 00:36:34,158
Don't let me interrupt you. I'm sorry.

569
00:36:34,358 --> 00:36:36,326
I think you were telling
us all about your...

570
00:36:36,527 --> 00:36:38,245
Your very good friend, weren't you?

571
00:36:51,751 --> 00:36:53,219
In my opinion,

572
00:36:54,295 --> 00:36:56,798
Harold is telling us all to shut up.

573
00:36:57,632 --> 00:37:00,313
Look, I dislike being analyzed, Kramer.
I'm not one of your patients

574
00:37:00,509 --> 00:37:03,479
I'm not one of your clients,
your sniveling creeps.

575
00:37:04,597 --> 00:37:06,816
It's the stories, isn't it?

576
00:37:07,016 --> 00:37:10,111
You see,
not everyone would like our stories.

577
00:37:10,311 --> 00:37:12,154
You don't have to like our stories.

578
00:37:12,355 --> 00:37:15,199
Thank you. I was afraid I had to like them.

579
00:37:16,901 --> 00:37:18,073
The stories are obscene.

580
00:37:19,237 --> 00:37:21,456
And they make me feel soiled.

581
00:37:22,114 --> 00:37:25,288
But I've been sitting here,
and I've been listening.

582
00:37:25,493 --> 00:37:26,836
And I have incurred a debt to this club,

583
00:37:27,036 --> 00:37:28,379
so I think that I should tell a story, too.

584
00:37:28,579 --> 00:37:30,502
But you know
that I don't meet gorgeous Latinos?

585
00:37:30,873 --> 00:37:33,422
I have a perfectly ordinary life.

586
00:37:34,168 --> 00:37:35,920
Nothing happens to me.

587
00:37:36,128 --> 00:37:39,052
It's not ordinary for someone's wife
to disappear with the furniture.

588
00:37:39,257 --> 00:37:40,304
Well, no, maybe not.

589
00:37:40,508 --> 00:37:43,557
But I realized what it meant.
She was leaving me.

590
00:37:44,428 --> 00:37:47,682
She made her point too strongly,
but she could have burned the house down.

591
00:37:47,890 --> 00:37:49,733
- Nothing happens to you?
- No.

592
00:37:50,142 --> 00:37:52,361
Come on, man. Tell the truth.

593
00:37:54,605 --> 00:37:55,857
What do you do?

594
00:37:56,065 --> 00:37:57,487
I'm a lawyer.

595
00:37:57,692 --> 00:38:01,447
I sue people. I read documents.
I write legal instruments.

596
00:38:01,654 --> 00:38:04,453
The work's very hectic.
It's full of anxieties.

597
00:38:04,657 --> 00:38:07,536
One of our partners collapsed
at a conference recently.

598
00:38:07,743 --> 00:38:09,586
- That's a story!
- Good, good.

599
00:38:09,787 --> 00:38:12,586
I paid my debt to the club.
Quentin had a heart attack and he died.

600
00:38:12,790 --> 00:38:14,838
Quentin Cohen.
He invited me to this meeting.

601
00:38:15,042 --> 00:38:16,919
- Quentin?
- Yes.

602
00:38:17,128 --> 00:38:18,345
Haven't you noticed that he isn't here?

603
00:38:18,546 --> 00:38:19,923
I mean,
I suppose a lot of others didn't show up.

604
00:38:20,131 --> 00:38:21,851
- Maybe they're all dead.
- Quentin is dead?

605
00:38:21,966 --> 00:38:24,247
Yes, he fell down at a meeting
at the business conference.

606
00:38:24,552 --> 00:38:25,519
Fell down?

607
00:38:27,555 --> 00:38:29,649
- Where?
- Berliner, you know you're harassing me.

608
00:38:29,849 --> 00:38:31,192
- What do you want to hear?
- He was my buddy!

609
00:38:31,392 --> 00:38:33,315
I'm sorry. I didn't know him intimately.

610
00:38:34,520 --> 00:38:36,568
- He had a speech impediment.
- That's right.

611
00:38:37,189 --> 00:38:39,578
I don't intend to go to his funeral.

612
00:38:39,775 --> 00:38:42,119
I'm just here to pay my respects.

613
00:38:44,613 --> 00:38:47,537
Hey, what about some coffee?

614
00:38:47,742 --> 00:38:50,461
Nancy laid out a whole lot of coffee,
for the girls, you know.

615
00:38:50,661 --> 00:38:54,131
Kona, Uganda, Brazil, you know.
I'll mix it up.

616
00:38:54,332 --> 00:38:56,755
- How do you guys like it?
- Sit down!

617
00:39:01,339 --> 00:39:02,886
Doesn't anybody want any coffee?

618
00:39:03,090 --> 00:39:05,639
What is this coffee shit?
Harold is talking.

619
00:39:06,177 --> 00:39:09,306
Did we come here to talk,
or to have fucking coffee?

620
00:39:09,513 --> 00:39:12,513
You want some coffee? Go and make it
for yourself, and shove it up your ass.

621
00:39:13,267 --> 00:39:15,315
Hey, didn't you hear
what Harold's been saying?

622
00:39:15,519 --> 00:39:17,442
You know,
that our club is a fucking funeral,

623
00:39:17,646 --> 00:39:19,648
he came to pay his respects to the dead.

624
00:39:19,857 --> 00:39:23,532
You know, your stories are obscene,
my patients are sniveling creeps.

625
00:39:23,736 --> 00:39:26,080
Didn't you hear all of that, Solly?

626
00:39:26,280 --> 00:39:28,078
I thought you were my friend.

627
00:39:28,282 --> 00:39:30,642
Maybe I was wrong about you.
Maybe I ought to kick your ass.

628
00:39:31,035 --> 00:39:32,002
Try it.

629
00:39:33,537 --> 00:39:35,710
Gentlemen, really, really.
This is my fault.

630
00:39:35,915 --> 00:39:38,168
I ruined everything
by starting all this dissention.

631
00:39:38,376 --> 00:39:41,550
If you must hit anybody,
I suggest that you hit me.

632
00:39:42,755 --> 00:39:44,223
Fuck it. No.

633
00:39:49,678 --> 00:39:51,601
- Kramer!
- Break it up!

634
00:39:53,099 --> 00:39:54,271
Stop it! Come on!

635
00:39:57,353 --> 00:39:58,900
Kramer, stop it!

636
00:40:10,408 --> 00:40:11,910
Deborah was a brilliant woman.

637
00:40:12,118 --> 00:40:13,586
She was wonderful, really wonderful.

638
00:40:13,786 --> 00:40:18,337
She was articulate, she could lecture,
she played tennis like a man.

639
00:40:18,541 --> 00:40:20,009
And she could sing.

640
00:40:20,584 --> 00:40:23,053
And I'm a sucker for singing women.

641
00:40:25,423 --> 00:40:27,266
One time,

642
00:40:27,466 --> 00:40:29,389
driving home from a movie,

643
00:40:29,593 --> 00:40:32,062
she started to sing
Brother, Can You Spare a Dime.

644
00:40:32,847 --> 00:40:34,349
The money blues.

645
00:40:34,557 --> 00:40:36,150
I drove so slowly,

646
00:40:38,436 --> 00:40:40,359
hoping she'd never stop.

647
00:40:44,900 --> 00:40:47,574
As for what happened, I'm still ashamed.

648
00:40:48,904 --> 00:40:51,532
I mean, we were having dinner
in a restaurant in San Francisco,

649
00:40:51,740 --> 00:40:54,084
and I was trying to impress her.

650
00:40:54,285 --> 00:40:56,754
Let her know
that doctors know about food, too.

651
00:40:57,580 --> 00:41:01,960
And this dessert I ordered
was strawberries under flaming chocolate.

652
00:41:02,168 --> 00:41:06,048
And I wasn't just eating it,
I was committing it to memory.

653
00:41:06,255 --> 00:41:07,757
And Deborah was giving me
looks of approval,

654
00:41:07,965 --> 00:41:11,686
as if to say how much she enjoyed
my pleasure in the dessert.

655
00:41:13,012 --> 00:41:15,231
And suddenly, she takes her fork,

656
00:41:15,431 --> 00:41:19,026
and she sticks it into my strawberries
without asking my permission.

657
00:41:21,187 --> 00:41:23,690
Many things about her I admired.

658
00:41:23,898 --> 00:41:28,745
But nobody puts herself
between my plate and my mouth.

659
00:41:30,321 --> 00:41:31,948
She sticks her fork in the dessert,

660
00:41:32,156 --> 00:41:35,581
and she hacks away a piece
and she shoves it in her mouth,

661
00:41:35,784 --> 00:41:38,333
and she starts rolling it around.

662
00:41:38,537 --> 00:41:41,632
A bulge in one cheek, and then
there's this bulge in the other cheek.

663
00:41:41,832 --> 00:41:46,053
And she's smiling at me
as if we're sharing this delicious dessert.

664
00:41:46,253 --> 00:41:47,766
What'd you do?

665
00:41:50,633 --> 00:41:52,601
I kicked her under the table.

666
00:41:53,802 --> 00:41:54,974
Wow.

667
00:41:58,974 --> 00:42:03,730
She screamed, and she started to fall back,
but her chair got caught in the rug.

668
00:42:03,938 --> 00:42:05,360
I kicked her again,

669
00:42:06,065 --> 00:42:07,783
and again and again.

670
00:42:08,859 --> 00:42:11,908
She was stabbing at my foot with her fork.

671
00:42:12,112 --> 00:42:14,991
I was wearing thin Italian shoes,
she could have stabbed right through.

672
00:42:16,992 --> 00:42:18,744
What a bitch she was.

673
00:42:19,995 --> 00:42:21,167
Did you know her?

674
00:42:22,414 --> 00:42:24,712
Know her? Why should I know her?

675
00:42:26,502 --> 00:42:29,143
You can't end an affair like that
with just a kick under the table.

676
00:42:29,755 --> 00:42:32,804
You're right. I should call her.

677
00:42:37,137 --> 00:42:41,438
I'm glad I told that story,
'cause now I finally understand how I feel.

678
00:42:43,686 --> 00:42:46,860
She's waiting for my call, I can feel it.
She's waiting for it.

679
00:42:47,064 --> 00:42:48,784
How long has it been
since you spoke to her?

680
00:42:49,358 --> 00:42:50,450
Five years.

681
00:42:55,239 --> 00:42:56,536
Well then, call her.

682
00:42:58,242 --> 00:43:01,792
No, man, don't call her. Please.

683
00:43:01,996 --> 00:43:04,670
Come on. You're with us tonight.

684
00:43:04,873 --> 00:43:08,468
Hey, look. Harold says
we gotta do something physical.

685
00:43:08,669 --> 00:43:10,797
I mean, that's what this club needs.

686
00:43:11,005 --> 00:43:12,348
I know. Wait a minute.

687
00:43:13,924 --> 00:43:16,177
How about I teach you
how to throw these little beauties?

688
00:43:16,385 --> 00:43:17,432
It's night time.

689
00:43:17,636 --> 00:43:19,354
- So?
- It's dark. We'll lose the knives.

690
00:43:19,555 --> 00:43:21,102
All right, we'll do it in here.

691
00:43:21,307 --> 00:43:22,809
At the kitchen door.

692
00:43:23,475 --> 00:43:24,772
Like this. Look, I'll show you.

693
00:43:29,315 --> 00:43:30,783
Hey, Paul. Take care of the table.

694
00:43:30,983 --> 00:43:32,485
- Okay.
- Here we go.

695
00:43:33,360 --> 00:43:34,407
And...

696
00:43:38,073 --> 00:43:39,245
All right.

697
00:43:41,994 --> 00:43:43,291
All right.

698
00:43:47,166 --> 00:43:49,794
- Cavanaugh.
- Look at him! Look at him!

699
00:43:51,920 --> 00:43:53,137
Come on!

700
00:43:57,843 --> 00:43:58,810
Now, Paul.

701
00:43:59,136 --> 00:44:00,388
- Come on, come on.
- Okay.

702
00:44:09,730 --> 00:44:11,323
- Oh, no. Not me.
- Come on.

703
00:44:14,860 --> 00:44:16,578
Something physical.

704
00:44:17,863 --> 00:44:19,410
Look at him.

705
00:44:23,952 --> 00:44:26,455
- I've never done that before.
- You're an Indian.

706
00:44:26,664 --> 00:44:28,462
Let's see who can beat that.

707
00:44:28,957 --> 00:44:30,709
I think so.

708
00:44:34,171 --> 00:44:35,798
Will you throw the knife?

709
00:44:42,930 --> 00:44:44,307
Come on, let's go!

710
00:44:52,815 --> 00:44:54,408
Just a little low. Just a little low.

711
00:44:54,608 --> 00:44:57,578
I'm going to bring it right up to center.
Watch this.

712
00:45:02,282 --> 00:45:04,455
It's the glasses, the glasses.

713
00:45:12,918 --> 00:45:14,545
Well, next time.

714
00:45:14,753 --> 00:45:15,925
Wing it!

715
00:45:17,673 --> 00:45:19,266
Good one!

716
00:45:27,599 --> 00:45:28,942
You know, he's a natural.

717
00:45:32,271 --> 00:45:33,238
Don't worry about it.

718
00:45:41,447 --> 00:45:42,699
Are you sure this is okay?

719
00:45:59,631 --> 00:46:02,601
You know, usually at this time of night,
I'm in my backyard,

720
00:46:02,801 --> 00:46:07,682
I'm in my robe and my slippers
and I'm beating my dog with a magazine.

721
00:46:07,890 --> 00:46:10,985
It's amazing.
He starts to howl when he hears the sirens,

722
00:46:11,185 --> 00:46:12,812
and every dog in the neighborhood howls.

723
00:46:13,020 --> 00:46:14,567
I mean,
it's the most ghastly sound you ever heard.

724
00:46:14,772 --> 00:46:16,820
It's not ghastly at all.

725
00:46:17,024 --> 00:46:19,144
I played ball for a summer team
called The Red Wolves.

726
00:46:19,193 --> 00:46:22,663
If we won, we'd go into the locker room
and howl. It's terrific.

727
00:47:07,825 --> 00:47:09,418
I'll clean it up tomorrow.

728
00:47:09,952 --> 00:47:11,454
Tonight.

729
00:47:11,662 --> 00:47:12,788
Tonight.

730
00:47:18,210 --> 00:47:19,507
Hi, Nancy.

731
00:47:20,796 --> 00:47:22,048
Hi, Solly.

732
00:47:22,256 --> 00:47:26,136
It's no problem, Nancy, we'll clean it up.

733
00:47:26,343 --> 00:47:27,811
Come on, guys.

734
00:47:34,226 --> 00:47:36,024
Hey! You got your hair cut.

735
00:47:36,478 --> 00:47:38,572
Wow, it looks good. Very good.

736
00:47:39,898 --> 00:47:41,286
I like it, too.

737
00:47:41,775 --> 00:47:42,822
Thanks.

738
00:47:43,026 --> 00:47:44,448
Yeah, the horizontal look.

739
00:47:44,653 --> 00:47:46,781
It's in. Very, very in.

740
00:47:46,989 --> 00:47:50,209
Yeah, one of my clients
had her hair cut with the vertical look.

741
00:47:50,409 --> 00:47:53,128
And the very same day, she sees a model
on the cover of a magazine

742
00:47:53,328 --> 00:47:56,127
with her hair totally fucking opposite
from hers. I mean, you know...

743
00:47:56,540 --> 00:47:59,089
She goes vertical,
the rest of the world goes horizontal.

744
00:47:59,418 --> 00:48:02,922
I mean, it really destroyed her.
Made her feel stupid.

745
00:48:04,131 --> 00:48:06,680
Vertical. Everybody else is horizontal.

746
00:48:07,676 --> 00:48:08,802
She went deaf for a week.

747
00:48:09,011 --> 00:48:11,639
Do you think it's fair
talking about her like that?

748
00:48:11,847 --> 00:48:13,269
Yeah.

749
00:48:13,765 --> 00:48:15,525
Hey, where did you get it cut?
San Francisco?

750
00:48:15,642 --> 00:48:17,440
A woman friend of mine cut it for me.

751
00:48:17,644 --> 00:48:19,567
It's a good job.

752
00:48:20,022 --> 00:48:21,319
Yeah, what do you call it?

753
00:48:21,940 --> 00:48:23,692
Layered? Right?

754
00:48:23,901 --> 00:48:25,824
Sort of the windblown look.

755
00:48:26,028 --> 00:48:28,952
Like the beach. Windy beach.

756
00:48:32,326 --> 00:48:35,170
Yeah. Your friend really did a good job.

757
00:48:35,370 --> 00:48:39,216
Hey, my client paid 80 bucks
to get her hair cut,

758
00:48:39,583 --> 00:48:41,961
then she had to come
and talk to me about it afterwards.

759
00:48:42,169 --> 00:48:43,637
So another 50 bucks.

760
00:48:43,837 --> 00:48:46,966
You figure, 130 bucks for a haircut?

761
00:48:47,174 --> 00:48:48,300
Plus going deaf.

762
00:48:48,508 --> 00:48:49,680
I mean...

763
00:48:52,512 --> 00:48:54,731
I'll take care of those marks.

764
00:49:10,030 --> 00:49:11,703
Must have been hungry.

765
00:49:11,907 --> 00:49:14,706
Yeah, God. We were starving.

766
00:49:14,910 --> 00:49:17,629
Listen, I'll replace the food, yeah.

767
00:49:17,829 --> 00:49:22,209
I'll have it catered.
You know, chicken, salmon, everything.

768
00:49:22,417 --> 00:49:25,261
What time
is your women's group coming over?

769
00:49:26,838 --> 00:49:28,226
I feel invaded.

770
00:49:29,091 --> 00:49:30,263
Invaded.

771
00:49:31,093 --> 00:49:32,390
How do you feel about that?

772
00:49:33,470 --> 00:49:36,019
Why don't you put it on tape?

773
00:49:36,223 --> 00:49:37,190
Put it on tape?

774
00:49:37,641 --> 00:49:39,143
We could put it on a tape.

775
00:49:40,435 --> 00:49:43,154
I think I could express myself
without putting it on tape.

776
00:49:43,355 --> 00:49:45,824
Although, I think even now,
you think by expressing myself,

777
00:49:46,024 --> 00:49:48,573
I'm like, cutting your balls off.
I mean, I sense negative vibes, you know.

778
00:49:48,777 --> 00:49:50,417
I think you think I'm ruining your party.

779
00:49:50,737 --> 00:49:51,909
N...

780
00:49:52,114 --> 00:49:54,867
Listen, you're not responsible
for my feelings.

781
00:49:55,325 --> 00:49:57,544
- Right. Right.
- I mean, I could be feeling what I'm feeling.

782
00:49:57,744 --> 00:50:00,167
Right, I understand.

783
00:50:00,372 --> 00:50:02,173
I appreciate your feelings
about your freedom.

784
00:50:02,457 --> 00:50:06,428
Yeah, and I appreciate,
like, how you want to express yourself.

785
00:50:06,837 --> 00:50:09,215
But you just don't think
I should express myself right this minute.

786
00:50:09,423 --> 00:50:11,343
Do you think I could, like,
express myself later?

787
00:50:11,675 --> 00:50:12,676
Could be later.

788
00:50:13,010 --> 00:50:15,104
Sure, sure, I understand, yeah.
It could be later.

789
00:50:15,929 --> 00:50:17,647
- Right.
- Sure, that's cool.

790
00:50:17,848 --> 00:50:20,192
We could sit down later. Talk.

791
00:50:20,726 --> 00:50:24,856
Right. We could sit down and talk
over a cup of coffee in the morning.

792
00:50:25,313 --> 00:50:27,315
- This is the morning.
- Right.

793
00:50:33,196 --> 00:50:36,951
It's gonna be okay.
She's a nag, but she's in control.

794
00:50:37,159 --> 00:50:38,001
Oh, no.

795
00:50:38,201 --> 00:50:39,293
Don't!

796
00:50:45,083 --> 00:50:47,302
I feel you're feeling anger.

797
00:50:47,836 --> 00:50:49,964
I want to express myself, like, now!

798
00:50:50,464 --> 00:50:52,216
I feel you're feeling anger.

799
00:50:52,424 --> 00:50:54,847
Now, how do you feel about that?

800
00:50:59,973 --> 00:51:02,396
I don't want to talk to you!

801
00:51:03,727 --> 00:51:04,944
Okay.

802
00:51:12,611 --> 00:51:15,660
Tonight! You clean up tonight!

803
00:51:17,574 --> 00:51:20,578
I don't know what's going on. You know...

804
00:51:20,786 --> 00:51:24,211
She never nags, never complains,

805
00:51:24,414 --> 00:51:27,167
never has moods, never even gets sick.

806
00:51:28,376 --> 00:51:30,970
Now, all of a sudden, she has a tizzy.

807
00:51:33,006 --> 00:51:35,509
- What the hell is going on?
- Stop moving.

808
00:51:35,717 --> 00:51:37,685
I thought we had an understanding.

809
00:51:37,886 --> 00:51:39,638
Anyone could see that.

810
00:51:42,974 --> 00:51:44,317
You want us to clean up, man?

811
00:51:44,518 --> 00:51:45,798
Yeah, we can clean up. We can...

812
00:51:45,852 --> 00:51:48,651
No! No! You're my guests.

813
00:51:48,855 --> 00:51:50,198
Hey, listen.

814
00:51:52,818 --> 00:51:55,742
Why don't you guys
go out somewhere, you know?

815
00:51:55,946 --> 00:51:58,790
- Enjoy yourselves.
- No, we really would like to help.

816
00:51:58,990 --> 00:52:00,253
Forget it.

817
00:52:05,997 --> 00:52:09,137
She does that when she's mad.
But only sometimes.

818
00:52:10,502 --> 00:52:11,754
Wait!

819
00:52:18,468 --> 00:52:21,642
The Victorian dresser. Big mother.

820
00:52:23,056 --> 00:52:25,184
I don't know how she did it.

821
00:52:26,852 --> 00:52:30,527
Must be really pissed. Really pissed.

822
00:52:33,650 --> 00:52:34,776
Well...

823
00:52:36,528 --> 00:52:39,748
I'm really glad
you guys came by this evening, you know.

824
00:52:39,948 --> 00:52:45,170
I really enjoyed tonight.
And, you know, I wanna do it again.

825
00:52:45,370 --> 00:52:49,375
Thing is, I need to work
out a better schedule with Nancy.

826
00:52:49,583 --> 00:52:51,663
You know, I mean, I see that now,
that's our problem.

827
00:52:52,460 --> 00:52:54,428
We need a better schedule.

828
00:52:56,631 --> 00:52:59,680
Well, listen, you guys,
it's time for you to go home now.

829
00:52:59,885 --> 00:53:03,264
I mean, she'd never say anything so uncool,

830
00:53:03,471 --> 00:53:08,398
but, you know, I know her.
I see what she's, like, trying to say.

831
00:53:08,602 --> 00:53:10,604
- You take care of that, hear?
- Yeah.

832
00:53:10,812 --> 00:53:13,235
I mean, if you hang around,

833
00:53:13,440 --> 00:53:15,613
it could fuck up my marriage.

834
00:53:16,359 --> 00:53:18,327
Gentlemen, I have got an idea.

835
00:53:18,528 --> 00:53:19,871
Would you let me buy you all breakfast?

836
00:53:20,071 --> 00:53:21,751
I know a wonderful place in San Francisco.

837
00:53:21,865 --> 00:53:23,905
They've got great music,
they've got wonderful food.

838
00:53:23,909 --> 00:53:26,879
Well, there's entertainment
I think you'll like.

839
00:53:27,078 --> 00:53:30,173
Yeah, yeah, go. Great idea.

840
00:53:30,373 --> 00:53:32,250
- Good night.
- Good night.

841
00:53:32,459 --> 00:53:34,678
- Good night.
- Take care of yourself, man.

842
00:53:34,878 --> 00:53:36,130
Right.

843
00:53:36,338 --> 00:53:38,215
<i>For he's a jolly good fellow</i>

844
00:53:38,423 --> 00:53:40,471
<i>For he's a jolly good fellow</i>

845
00:53:43,303 --> 00:53:44,771
Look.

846
00:53:47,724 --> 00:53:49,522
Need to make a call.

847
00:53:53,772 --> 00:53:56,150
- Are you ordering food?
- I'm fine.

848
00:54:03,657 --> 00:54:05,955
Yes, hello. This is Harold Canterbury.

849
00:54:06,159 --> 00:54:08,253
My law firm represents Max Rogers.

850
00:54:08,453 --> 00:54:09,875
I'm with a party of six,

851
00:54:10,080 --> 00:54:12,174
and I was wondering
if you could possibly take us.

852
00:54:42,612 --> 00:54:45,161
How do you do? I'm Harold Canterbury.

853
00:54:45,365 --> 00:54:47,584
How have you been, Harold?

854
00:54:47,784 --> 00:54:50,287
I believe you have the advantage of me.

855
00:54:50,495 --> 00:54:52,372
Well, I used to be a redhead.

856
00:54:53,498 --> 00:54:57,048
I telephoned a short while ago.
I know this is short notice, but...

857
00:54:57,961 --> 00:55:00,885
Show us some identification, Harold,
and maybe I'll remember.

858
00:55:01,548 --> 00:55:02,595
Okay.

859
00:55:07,595 --> 00:55:09,438
They're not cops.

860
00:55:13,184 --> 00:55:16,529
Come on, Jo. They're pumpkins.

861
00:55:17,439 --> 00:55:18,565
It's late.

862
00:55:20,025 --> 00:55:22,369
Throw caution to the winds.

863
00:55:22,569 --> 00:55:27,120
Welcome, pumpkins.
Welcome to the House of Affections.

864
00:55:37,208 --> 00:55:39,051
Girls, I'm here!

865
00:55:41,004 --> 00:55:42,756
They moved the floor. I'll sue you!

866
00:55:43,298 --> 00:55:45,471
I hope you don't sue us, darling.

867
00:55:45,675 --> 00:55:48,554
I swear I got here as fast
as I could, sweetheart.

868
00:55:48,762 --> 00:55:51,811
But I got kidnapped by
this gang of fairies.

869
00:55:52,015 --> 00:55:53,688
An ass like mine is irresistible.

870
00:55:54,517 --> 00:55:56,485
I have that problem, too.

871
00:56:26,925 --> 00:56:29,019
- Where do I sign?
- At the X.

872
00:56:29,219 --> 00:56:30,641
The sticker price is $4,500.

873
00:56:30,845 --> 00:56:33,689
Any arrangement you have
with Max suits me.

874
00:56:33,890 --> 00:56:36,484
I want everything he gets.

875
00:56:36,684 --> 00:56:38,231
Of course, Harold.

876
00:56:39,771 --> 00:56:41,773
And now I'll introduce you to Teensy.

877
00:56:41,981 --> 00:56:44,780
Of course. Who's Teensy?

878
00:56:44,984 --> 00:56:46,497
Your bonus.

879
00:56:46,694 --> 00:56:49,163
She's very much in demand.

880
00:56:49,364 --> 00:56:51,617
Max always asks for Teensy.

881
00:57:00,041 --> 00:57:01,384
Would you like a drink?

882
00:57:02,043 --> 00:57:03,340
Thank you.

883
00:57:05,713 --> 00:57:07,852
- How 'bout you?
- Yeah. Thanks.

884
00:57:13,847 --> 00:57:15,645
Glad you came?

885
00:57:15,849 --> 00:57:18,898
Yeah, I could have missed all this.

886
00:57:20,895 --> 00:57:22,897
What's bothering you?

887
00:57:23,106 --> 00:57:25,825
It means a lot to me
that you're here tonight.

888
00:57:26,025 --> 00:57:29,746
Christ sakes,
we never see each other, we never talk.

889
00:57:29,946 --> 00:57:32,199
You've said more than I wanna hear.

890
00:57:32,949 --> 00:57:35,873
You know, Sarah's a friend of mine.

891
00:57:37,078 --> 00:57:39,627
I don't wanna know things about her
that she doesn't know,

892
00:57:39,831 --> 00:57:41,754
you know, know that I know.

893
00:57:41,958 --> 00:57:44,256
I feel compromised
You know, I can never talk to her

894
00:57:44,461 --> 00:57:46,589
the same way ever again.

895
00:57:46,796 --> 00:57:48,594
You fucking understand that?

896
00:57:50,133 --> 00:57:51,885
She wants a divorce.

897
00:57:56,055 --> 00:57:57,227
Again?

898
00:57:59,934 --> 00:58:02,653
She thinks she's in love with some guy.

899
00:58:04,314 --> 00:58:05,987
Can you believe it?

900
00:58:08,026 --> 00:58:09,619
Been killing me for weeks.

901
00:58:21,748 --> 00:58:24,547
I wanna sympathize. I really do, I want...

902
00:58:26,002 --> 00:58:27,970
The only thing that I can remember

903
00:58:28,171 --> 00:58:30,469
is that whole parade of beautiful women.

904
00:58:32,217 --> 00:58:36,597
Every one looking so small, so obedient
next to the star, the big hero.

905
00:58:39,182 --> 00:58:41,310
Have you ever wanted Sarah in particular?

906
00:58:41,893 --> 00:58:43,395
Do you know where you are
as you're saying this to me?

907
00:58:43,603 --> 00:58:45,605
Do you know where you fucking are
at this moment?

908
00:58:46,689 --> 00:58:49,317
I tell Sarah the truth,
and she wants a divorce.

909
00:58:49,526 --> 00:58:50,994
I tell you the truth and
you get hysterical.

910
00:58:51,194 --> 00:58:54,573
I know where I am!
I've been in places like this before.

911
00:58:55,031 --> 00:58:57,033
Trouble with you is
you never get out of your head.

912
00:58:57,492 --> 00:58:59,335
I do what I want to do.

913
00:59:02,288 --> 00:59:03,585
All right.

914
00:59:05,124 --> 00:59:06,637
All right. Do you wanna keep Sarah?

915
00:59:08,836 --> 00:59:11,464
I'll tell you what you do.

916
00:59:11,673 --> 00:59:12,720
Go home.

917
00:59:15,051 --> 00:59:16,268
Right now.

918
00:59:16,844 --> 00:59:19,643
Go home and tell her that you love her.

919
00:59:19,847 --> 00:59:22,691
Tell her that she's the
center of your world.

920
00:59:22,892 --> 00:59:24,532
Tell her that you can't live without her.

921
00:59:25,103 --> 00:59:27,777
Tell her anything to keep her in place.

922
00:59:28,982 --> 00:59:31,656
And hurry right back.
We'll be waiting for you.

923
00:59:33,319 --> 00:59:35,913
We both fucking know
that you're gonna be back here. Don't we?

924
00:59:36,114 --> 00:59:37,286
Don't we?

925
01:00:06,311 --> 01:00:07,813
How are you tonight?

926
01:00:08,021 --> 01:00:09,068
Okay.

927
01:00:10,690 --> 01:00:12,283
- Hi, fellas.
- Hello.

928
01:00:12,483 --> 01:00:14,656
- I'm Lake.
- Of course you are.

929
01:00:16,821 --> 01:00:19,199
What an extraordinary, beautiful name.

930
01:00:19,407 --> 01:00:21,535
I'm Terry, and this is Paul.

931
01:00:24,454 --> 01:00:25,580
Hello.

932
01:00:27,165 --> 01:00:31,136
"So, we could talk to each other,
man to man. You know, really talk."

933
01:00:31,336 --> 01:00:33,088
"Man to man."

934
01:00:33,296 --> 01:00:36,926
Except, a woman comes along
and it's every man for himself.

935
01:00:38,176 --> 01:00:39,849
My name is Allison.

936
01:00:40,803 --> 01:00:43,431
I knew that. I could tell that.

937
01:00:54,359 --> 01:00:55,906
You're gorgeous.

938
01:00:59,197 --> 01:01:01,291
Put your tongue in my mouth.

939
01:01:36,067 --> 01:01:37,569
My name's Page.

940
01:01:39,904 --> 01:01:41,531
You wanna hurt me?

941
01:01:45,827 --> 01:01:48,455
Why would I wanna do that?

942
01:01:48,663 --> 01:01:50,882
Because I'm hurting you, lover.

943
01:01:52,792 --> 01:01:55,295
I feel where the pain is the worst.

944
01:01:57,255 --> 01:02:00,054
What do you say
we do something to ease it?

945
01:02:14,939 --> 01:02:16,691
How do you like this look, Jo?

946
01:02:16,899 --> 01:02:18,697
Never tried it before.

947
01:02:19,902 --> 01:02:21,165
It's you.

948
01:02:22,572 --> 01:02:25,200
Teensy, meet Harold.

949
01:02:26,367 --> 01:02:28,665
Harold, do you like this look?

950
01:02:28,870 --> 01:02:30,668
Not too vulgar, is it?

951
01:02:32,039 --> 01:02:34,838
- It's ravishing.
- Want me to do one on you?

952
01:02:36,169 --> 01:02:38,638
Harold doesn't wear makeup, Teensy.

953
01:02:41,048 --> 01:02:42,846
Ask him about his job.

954
01:02:47,513 --> 01:02:49,811
Tell me about your job, Harold.

955
01:02:53,227 --> 01:02:55,150
I'm a lawyer.

956
01:02:55,354 --> 01:02:56,446
N...

957
01:02:57,648 --> 01:02:59,946
I do corporate law. It isn't interesting.

958
01:03:00,735 --> 01:03:03,033
Ask him if he's married, Teensy.

959
01:03:04,489 --> 01:03:05,866
Are you married?

960
01:03:06,324 --> 01:03:07,917
My wife left me.

961
01:03:09,952 --> 01:03:11,579
Change the subject, Teensy.

962
01:03:12,079 --> 01:03:14,002
Tell me about your wife.

963
01:03:15,082 --> 01:03:17,005
Change the subject, Teensy.

964
01:03:17,210 --> 01:03:18,427
Was she pretty?

965
01:03:18,628 --> 01:03:19,720
Yes.

966
01:03:20,463 --> 01:03:21,464
Was she a good fuck?

967
01:03:21,672 --> 01:03:23,015
I think so, yes.

968
01:03:23,674 --> 01:03:26,474
But there was stuff she wouldn't do.
A man needs more than a good fuck.

969
01:03:26,719 --> 01:03:28,687
No, there was nothing she wouldn't do.

970
01:03:29,889 --> 01:03:32,563
So what was the trouble? She stupid?

971
01:03:33,810 --> 01:03:35,904
She could tie her shoelaces.

972
01:03:37,772 --> 01:03:39,115
She was stupid.

973
01:03:39,315 --> 01:03:40,612
But you loved her.

974
01:03:40,817 --> 01:03:41,784
Yes.

975
01:03:48,449 --> 01:03:52,044
Poor Harold. I know that kind of bitch.

976
01:03:52,954 --> 01:03:54,046
She wore too much perfume.

977
01:03:54,247 --> 01:03:56,841
She was always buying clothes
that didn't look right.

978
01:03:57,041 --> 01:03:59,510
She couldn't balance her checkbook.

979
01:04:00,461 --> 01:04:01,758
You pity her, Harold?

980
01:04:03,631 --> 01:04:04,678
I didn't want to.

981
01:04:05,299 --> 01:04:07,427
How could you help it? She had no taste.

982
01:04:07,635 --> 01:04:09,603
She couldn't understand your jokes.

983
01:04:09,804 --> 01:04:12,102
She made you talk slow.

984
01:04:12,306 --> 01:04:15,059
She never understood a word you said.

985
01:04:17,478 --> 01:04:19,196
You want me to stay, Harold?

986
01:04:28,072 --> 01:04:29,415
You can go.

987
01:04:42,169 --> 01:04:44,922
- What was your stupid wife's name?
- Daisy.

988
01:04:49,760 --> 01:04:51,603
Sounds like a sleeper.

989
01:04:56,267 --> 01:04:58,770
Was she a sleeper, Harold?

990
01:04:58,978 --> 01:05:04,280
Well, she certainly slept a great deal.
That's what you mean, isn't it?

991
01:05:04,483 --> 01:05:07,032
More or less.

992
01:05:07,236 --> 01:05:09,739
- She a pill-head?
- I really loved her.

993
01:05:12,992 --> 01:05:14,209
You said that already.

994
01:05:16,287 --> 01:05:18,585
You're a monotonous man, Harold.

995
01:05:20,750 --> 01:05:22,718
You're a Johnny-one-note.

996
01:05:25,504 --> 01:05:26,926
Yes, you are.

997
01:05:32,136 --> 01:05:35,185
That was like music.

998
01:05:37,016 --> 01:05:38,734
Like poetry.

999
01:05:40,186 --> 01:05:42,780
Like...

1000
01:05:42,980 --> 01:05:46,735
Don't you have any feelings
that aren't like something?

1001
01:05:48,569 --> 01:05:52,494
Hey, lover,
why can't you let me do my job?

1002
01:05:53,282 --> 01:05:55,205
You did it.

1003
01:05:55,409 --> 01:05:57,457
Don't ruin it with bullshit.

1004
01:06:00,873 --> 01:06:02,341
That's my job.

1005
01:06:05,670 --> 01:06:08,890
My real name is Cynthia. I hate it.

1006
01:06:09,674 --> 01:06:11,551
You know what I did?

1007
01:06:12,885 --> 01:06:14,887
What did you do? Tell me.

1008
01:06:15,096 --> 01:06:19,272
I had a bunch of cards printed up
so I could give them away to people.

1009
01:06:19,475 --> 01:06:24,276
And there was one word
printed on the card. It said, "Lake."

1010
01:06:27,024 --> 01:06:28,276
Your name.

1011
01:06:28,484 --> 01:06:30,907
With my phone number underneath it.

1012
01:06:44,625 --> 01:06:45,968
You...

1013
01:06:46,168 --> 01:06:50,173
Go ahead and say that again.
Only this time, say it really slowly.

1014
01:06:56,929 --> 01:06:58,931
Man, that's eerie.

1015
01:06:59,140 --> 01:07:00,517
It's erotic.

1016
01:07:01,434 --> 01:07:04,108
I think I'm gonna have an eruption.

1017
01:07:12,528 --> 01:07:14,246
Come on, let's go to my room.

1018
01:07:14,447 --> 01:07:17,121
I'm sorry, I can't. I...

1019
01:07:17,324 --> 01:07:18,371
This is the first night...

1020
01:07:18,576 --> 01:07:21,876
This is, like, the first night
in 15 years I haven't been with my wife.

1021
01:07:22,163 --> 01:07:23,210
Come on.

1022
01:07:23,414 --> 01:07:25,542
This is hard for me.

1023
01:07:25,750 --> 01:07:27,218
I love my wife.

1024
01:07:28,377 --> 01:07:31,506
Know what I mean?
I mean, when I'm with her, I...

1025
01:07:31,714 --> 01:07:33,432
I don't have to try...

1026
01:07:34,967 --> 01:07:37,061
to live, you know?

1027
01:07:39,472 --> 01:07:41,600
You're a mean son of a bitch.

1028
01:07:43,642 --> 01:07:45,440
That's good.

1029
01:07:45,644 --> 01:07:48,818
Come on, baby, talk... Talk dirty to me.

1030
01:07:50,191 --> 01:07:51,238
What?

1031
01:07:55,237 --> 01:07:57,990
Well, I'm listening.

1032
01:08:02,203 --> 01:08:04,706
I'm an old fashioned sort of person.

1033
01:08:05,581 --> 01:08:10,337
I need to have, you know, some kind
of relationship with a person before...

1034
01:08:11,087 --> 01:08:13,681
Why don't you tell me something
about yourself?

1035
01:08:13,881 --> 01:08:15,554
Me?

1036
01:08:15,758 --> 01:08:18,056
You want me to talk about myself?

1037
01:08:18,260 --> 01:08:22,982
Well, that's very old fashioned,
but what have I got to talk about?

1038
01:08:23,682 --> 01:08:27,186
Where are you from?
Things like that. Just simple things.

1039
01:08:27,394 --> 01:08:28,816
Simple things?

1040
01:08:31,816 --> 01:08:34,285
Simple things, my ass.

1041
01:08:35,111 --> 01:08:37,205
You wanna know, like,

1042
01:08:37,404 --> 01:08:40,749
how I got turned out and all that?

1043
01:08:42,243 --> 01:08:45,372
Well, if I wasn't doing this,
I'd be doing something else.

1044
01:08:47,373 --> 01:08:50,172
Look, honey, I never finished high school.

1045
01:08:51,418 --> 01:08:52,761
I'm boring.

1046
01:08:53,754 --> 01:08:56,348
I am so boring.

1047
01:08:57,341 --> 01:09:00,390
Really, really boring.

1048
01:09:02,054 --> 01:09:04,728
You wanna hear something interesting?

1049
01:09:04,932 --> 01:09:06,354
Listen to this.

1050
01:09:15,568 --> 01:09:17,036
That's French.

1051
01:09:22,658 --> 01:09:26,788
Go ahead, baby, talk any language you like.

1052
01:09:27,580 --> 01:09:31,460
But you think if...
If you don't mind too much,

1053
01:09:31,667 --> 01:09:34,295
could you hold me while we talk?

1054
01:09:41,218 --> 01:09:42,470
Like this?

1055
01:09:43,762 --> 01:09:45,389
Tighter.

1056
01:09:45,598 --> 01:09:48,226
See, the thing is,

1057
01:09:49,602 --> 01:09:50,979
when I talk,

1058
01:09:53,689 --> 01:09:57,068
I depress myself. Know what I mean?

1059
01:10:00,321 --> 01:10:01,948
Tighter.

1060
01:10:02,156 --> 01:10:05,376
- Tighter, tighter.
- Give me that goddamn machine!

1061
01:10:07,328 --> 01:10:09,456
You have ego problems.

1062
01:10:10,331 --> 01:10:12,629
You just lie down and shut up!

1063
01:10:13,959 --> 01:10:16,553
Talk, talk, talk, talk, talk,
blah, blah, blah, blah.

1064
01:10:24,303 --> 01:10:26,601
You must be some kind of animal.

1065
01:10:27,640 --> 01:10:29,938
Mercy! I mean merci.

1066
01:10:32,770 --> 01:10:35,523
Do I remind you of your wife?

1067
01:10:35,731 --> 01:10:38,280
Not yet. Complain about something.

1068
01:10:41,070 --> 01:10:42,947
You're okay, Solly.

1069
01:10:47,117 --> 01:10:49,666
Can I ask you a personal question?

1070
01:10:49,870 --> 01:10:51,793
I do it for money.

1071
01:10:55,042 --> 01:10:57,591
I thought you did it for the exercise.

1072
01:10:57,795 --> 01:11:00,264
Comes with the job.

1073
01:11:00,464 --> 01:11:03,013
All the girls here are in great shape.

1074
01:11:05,219 --> 01:11:07,347
I want nice clothes.

1075
01:11:07,554 --> 01:11:09,477
I want to be independent.

1076
01:11:09,682 --> 01:11:11,855
Have a good time.

1077
01:11:12,059 --> 01:11:14,061
Do anything else?

1078
01:11:14,270 --> 01:11:15,988
I'm writing a book.

1079
01:11:16,188 --> 01:11:17,565
About whores?

1080
01:11:18,482 --> 01:11:20,234
I mean, prostitutes?

1081
01:11:21,360 --> 01:11:23,783
No. About married men.

1082
01:11:29,576 --> 01:11:32,125
Put me in it, will you?
I'll tell you anything you wanna know.

1083
01:11:32,329 --> 01:11:35,208
- Have dinner with me.
- It's against the rules.

1084
01:11:35,416 --> 01:11:38,090
Fuck the rules.
I know a great Mexican restaurant.

1085
01:11:38,294 --> 01:11:40,092
Got fantastic burritos and enchiladas

1086
01:11:40,296 --> 01:11:44,472
and a little band
of fucking midget Mexican guitar players.

1087
01:11:44,675 --> 01:11:45,722
- There's something...
- You'll love it.

1088
01:11:45,926 --> 01:11:48,020
About our relationship
that you don't understand.

1089
01:11:48,220 --> 01:11:49,392
How about Italian?

1090
01:11:49,596 --> 01:11:51,940
- The answer's no.
- McDonald's. I'll buy you a hamburger.

1091
01:11:52,141 --> 01:11:54,610
Solly. Let's go to my room.

1092
01:12:00,024 --> 01:12:02,823
All right. Wanna go to your room?
Come on, let's go, let's go.

1093
01:12:11,618 --> 01:12:14,713
- Hey, take it easy.
- You are easy.

1094
01:12:14,913 --> 01:12:17,382
What the hell are you doing? Jesus!

1095
01:12:17,583 --> 01:12:19,051
Now, do you hit?

1096
01:12:20,419 --> 01:12:21,540
Well, you don't want dinner.

1097
01:12:21,587 --> 01:12:23,931
Come on, I'll give you what you want.

1098
01:12:25,215 --> 01:12:26,478
- You're crazy!
- Tell me what you want.

1099
01:12:26,675 --> 01:12:28,302
You want me to fuck you?

1100
01:12:36,935 --> 01:12:39,814
That's Billy. You want her?

1101
01:12:41,440 --> 01:12:43,863
I wanna watch you dance with her.

1102
01:13:57,558 --> 01:13:59,560
I can't believe what I'm watching.

1103
01:14:02,020 --> 01:14:03,363
How venal.

1104
01:14:04,481 --> 01:14:06,609
Look at that son of a bitch.

1105
01:14:09,778 --> 01:14:14,375
Well, in this dream,
people speak to me in Chinese.

1106
01:14:15,909 --> 01:14:17,707
And I understand them.

1107
01:14:19,329 --> 01:14:23,209
Not only that, I answer them in Chinese.

1108
01:14:24,293 --> 01:14:25,340
So?

1109
01:14:26,920 --> 01:14:29,184
So, I don't speak Chinese.

1110
01:14:30,424 --> 01:14:32,176
What's it all about?

1111
01:14:35,721 --> 01:14:38,019
It means you're not really you.

1112
01:14:39,224 --> 01:14:40,897
You're a lost soul.

1113
01:14:42,519 --> 01:14:44,692
You mean I'm really Chinese?

1114
01:14:46,106 --> 01:14:48,985
But I'm walking around like this?

1115
01:14:49,193 --> 01:14:51,412
Like I'm me, but not really me?

1116
01:14:53,280 --> 01:14:54,827
You got it.

1117
01:14:55,032 --> 01:14:56,534
Wow.

1118
01:14:58,494 --> 01:15:00,747
I'm gonna have cards printed up.

1119
01:15:01,747 --> 01:15:04,000
They're gonna say, "Lost Soul."

1120
01:15:07,294 --> 01:15:09,717
With your phone number underneath.

1121
01:15:09,922 --> 01:15:11,299
Yeah.

1122
01:15:20,265 --> 01:15:21,733
Are you a fag?

1123
01:15:22,935 --> 01:15:23,982
No.

1124
01:15:25,521 --> 01:15:28,070
Wouldn't bother me if you were.

1125
01:15:28,273 --> 01:15:30,367
It wouldn't bother me either.

1126
01:15:31,151 --> 01:15:33,119
You can tell me anything.

1127
01:15:34,363 --> 01:15:36,457
I wanna tell you things.

1128
01:15:36,657 --> 01:15:37,658
I wanna hear.

1129
01:15:38,700 --> 01:15:41,203
Tell me what you're most ashamed of.

1130
01:15:44,498 --> 01:15:46,125
I find you very appealing.

1131
01:15:50,671 --> 01:15:54,551
Harold, I'm really into this,
but I don't know about you.

1132
01:15:54,758 --> 01:15:56,852
You don't move.

1133
01:15:57,052 --> 01:16:00,477
You don't say anything
unless I ask you something first.

1134
01:16:03,308 --> 01:16:04,605
Oh, Jesus.

1135
01:16:06,311 --> 01:16:08,405
You mind if I do some more?

1136
01:16:09,314 --> 01:16:11,863
No, I think I would mind if you didn't.

1137
01:16:28,792 --> 01:16:30,635
You are a horse.

1138
01:16:43,265 --> 01:16:46,565
Just take it real easy.

1139
01:17:30,812 --> 01:17:31,813
That's good.

1140
01:17:34,858 --> 01:17:37,452
What's the matter with you?

1141
01:17:37,653 --> 01:17:39,155
I wanna call Hannah.

1142
01:17:39,363 --> 01:17:40,990
Who's Hannah?

1143
01:17:41,198 --> 01:17:43,747
It's his old lady, can you believe it?

1144
01:17:43,950 --> 01:17:47,329
Why don't you? Pick up a phone.
Make an ass out of yourself.

1145
01:17:47,537 --> 01:17:50,131
"Hello, Hannah, I got laid tonight."

1146
01:17:50,332 --> 01:17:51,549
"Is that all right with you, honey?"

1147
01:17:51,750 --> 01:17:53,878
Cut it out, he's feeling low.

1148
01:17:55,462 --> 01:17:57,305
Listen to me, Phillip.

1149
01:17:58,465 --> 01:18:00,467
It gets easier.

1150
01:18:03,011 --> 01:18:05,434
You'll be calling me.

1151
01:18:07,557 --> 01:18:09,230
We'll see.

1152
01:18:09,434 --> 01:18:11,275
Anybody else?
Anybody else wanna say something?

1153
01:18:11,311 --> 01:18:12,563
What would you like to say?

1154
01:18:13,647 --> 01:18:16,025
- Would you like to say something?
- It's your dime.

1155
01:18:17,901 --> 01:18:19,323
Any comments?

1156
01:18:20,445 --> 01:18:23,164
I stopped going to confession years ago.

1157
01:18:24,116 --> 01:18:25,368
Yeah?

1158
01:18:27,244 --> 01:18:29,622
Still, it has a cleansing effect.

1159
01:18:39,381 --> 01:18:40,974
Hi. Guess who.

1160
01:18:42,759 --> 01:18:45,012
That's what I want to tell you.

1161
01:18:46,304 --> 01:18:47,601
I'm in San Francisco.

1162
01:18:48,974 --> 01:18:51,193
Right. The club meeting moved.

1163
01:18:51,810 --> 01:18:53,153
Hannah, listen to me.

1164
01:18:55,605 --> 01:18:57,323
I'm in a whorehouse.

1165
01:18:58,650 --> 01:19:01,073
No, not a warehouse, a whorehouse.

1166
01:19:03,029 --> 01:19:04,702
Six of us are here.

1167
01:19:06,408 --> 01:19:08,786
Right. Men are animals.

1168
01:19:10,203 --> 01:19:11,170
Me?

1169
01:19:11,580 --> 01:19:14,174
Mainly I watched. I watched Cavanaugh.

1170
01:19:14,666 --> 01:19:17,044
He screwed two women on the floor.

1171
01:19:18,420 --> 01:19:19,763
No, I'm not joking.

1172
01:19:20,380 --> 01:19:22,474
Right in front of everybody.

1173
01:19:26,178 --> 01:19:28,306
He's just that way.

1174
01:19:31,683 --> 01:19:33,526
No, I shouldn't laugh.

1175
01:19:34,186 --> 01:19:37,486
He's my best friend.
But, you know, you're right.

1176
01:19:40,650 --> 01:19:42,652
No, just go back to sleep.

1177
01:19:44,488 --> 01:19:46,707
No, you don't have to call Sarah.

1178
01:19:46,907 --> 01:19:48,454
She's leaving him.

1179
01:19:49,868 --> 01:19:50,960
Yeah.

1180
01:19:54,790 --> 01:19:56,292
What'd she say?

1181
01:19:56,833 --> 01:19:58,756
I wanna hear every word.

1182
01:20:01,713 --> 01:20:02,885
She said

1183
01:20:05,050 --> 01:20:06,597
that the temperature is 55,

1184
01:20:06,802 --> 01:20:08,224
but is expected to be sunny
and mild tomorrow,

1185
01:20:08,428 --> 01:20:11,523
but small craft warnings
have been issued along the coast.

1186
01:20:13,934 --> 01:20:17,188
She said it again and again and again.

1187
01:20:26,530 --> 01:20:28,532
I feel so much better now.

1188
01:21:33,513 --> 01:21:35,436
You like me, don't you?

1189
01:21:38,143 --> 01:21:40,020
I'm sorry I fucked you.

1190
01:21:43,273 --> 01:21:45,116
You're not the first.

1191
01:21:45,317 --> 01:21:47,695
It should have gone the other way.

1192
01:21:47,903 --> 01:21:51,373
I should have really liked you,
then fucked you.

1193
01:21:54,242 --> 01:21:57,121
I can hardly wait to
tell that to the girls.

1194
01:21:58,204 --> 01:22:00,172
What do you like about me?

1195
01:22:01,917 --> 01:22:03,134
MY Nags?

1196
01:22:05,712 --> 01:22:07,840
I've been told they are fine.

1197
01:22:09,633 --> 01:22:11,010
I'm serious.

1198
01:22:16,348 --> 01:22:17,691
Sweet Solly.

1199
01:22:20,685 --> 01:22:23,074
Really, really sweet.

1200
01:22:25,607 --> 01:22:27,905
I'm crazy about you, too.

1201
01:22:29,945 --> 01:22:31,572
No, really, I am.

1202
01:22:37,953 --> 01:22:40,297
But let's not get too serious.

1203
01:22:40,497 --> 01:22:43,922
Don't touch me, don't touch me,
just leave me alone.

1204
01:22:45,752 --> 01:22:48,255
Men come here for one reason, Solly.

1205
01:22:49,381 --> 01:22:51,224
They don't want a woman to love.

1206
01:22:57,055 --> 01:22:59,228
There's a guy who comes here,

1207
01:23:00,100 --> 01:23:02,319
doesn't want me to do anything

1208
01:23:03,436 --> 01:23:05,530
except watch him masturbate.

1209
01:23:07,273 --> 01:23:09,947
You guys never do anything else, anyway.

1210
01:23:11,194 --> 01:23:13,196
I'm not masturbating!

1211
01:23:13,405 --> 01:23:15,078
I'm in love with you.

1212
01:23:18,493 --> 01:23:20,962
You're embarrassing me.

1213
01:23:21,162 --> 01:23:24,006
If you don't know how to behave
in a decent, civilized way, well then...

1214
01:23:24,207 --> 01:23:26,585
I wanna marry you!

1215
01:23:26,793 --> 01:23:28,636
I wanna marry you!

1216
01:23:28,837 --> 01:23:31,056
Is that so fucking uncivilized?

1217
01:23:39,389 --> 01:23:41,687
And what are we drinking, lover?

1218
01:23:42,434 --> 01:23:43,936
Leave it alone.

1219
01:23:45,770 --> 01:23:49,240
The minute I leave the room,
you go and hurt yourself.

1220
01:23:49,441 --> 01:23:51,409
Let's put something on that.

1221
01:23:51,609 --> 01:23:55,113
It's my fault.
I knew I shouldn't have left you alone.

1222
01:23:58,575 --> 01:24:00,669
I had a feeling about you.

1223
01:24:00,869 --> 01:24:04,669
It is your fault. All I
wanted to do was talk.

1224
01:24:12,547 --> 01:24:15,175
Have you danced with her yet?

1225
01:24:15,383 --> 01:24:18,557
Hey, come on, Solly. Come on.

1226
01:24:18,762 --> 01:24:21,481
You know, you look
like you need it more than I do.

1227
01:24:21,681 --> 01:24:23,103
Be nice to him.

1228
01:24:35,278 --> 01:24:37,030
Billy, get over here.

1229
01:24:38,490 --> 01:24:41,084
Jo, I didn't do anything.
The guy's out of his mind.

1230
01:24:41,284 --> 01:24:44,003
Somebody deal with him right now,
or I will.

1231
01:24:44,537 --> 01:24:46,335
What's going on, man?

1232
01:24:49,042 --> 01:24:51,841
What's wrong? What'd she do to you?

1233
01:24:55,048 --> 01:24:57,016
Come back here. Come here.

1234
01:25:04,349 --> 01:25:06,772
I'm sorry. I didn't mean...

1235
01:25:11,898 --> 01:25:13,775
What's the matter, man?

1236
01:25:15,485 --> 01:25:16,532
Her.

1237
01:25:18,530 --> 01:25:21,204
- Her?
- No. Her.

1238
01:25:21,407 --> 01:25:23,751
She won't have dinner with me.
It's against the rules.

1239
01:25:24,953 --> 01:25:26,205
Hey, you!

1240
01:25:27,330 --> 01:25:29,378
Come over here!

1241
01:25:29,582 --> 01:25:31,710
Do what he says. Don't worry.

1242
01:25:32,710 --> 01:25:35,304
What's all this shit about the rules?

1243
01:25:40,093 --> 01:25:41,891
There she is.

1244
01:25:42,095 --> 01:25:43,615
What have you got to say for yourself?

1245
01:25:43,888 --> 01:25:46,186
He thinks he's in love with me.

1246
01:25:47,225 --> 01:25:50,069
He wants me to break
the rules and have dinner with him.

1247
01:25:51,187 --> 01:25:52,575
Is that true, Solly?

1248
01:25:53,314 --> 01:25:54,941
I wanna marry her.

1249
01:25:56,025 --> 01:25:57,322
Cavanaugh,

1250
01:25:58,403 --> 01:26:01,498
I don't want to be treated like
a sex object. I'm a person.

1251
01:26:03,533 --> 01:26:06,252
You treated my friend like a sex object?

1252
01:26:08,538 --> 01:26:10,632
You gotta make it up to him.

1253
01:26:12,041 --> 01:26:13,759
Sally's a person.

1254
01:26:13,960 --> 01:26:15,803
You are both nuts!

1255
01:26:16,004 --> 01:26:17,096
Say you'll marry him.

1256
01:26:23,928 --> 01:26:25,145
I'll marry you.

1257
01:26:26,848 --> 01:26:28,475
I don't like you too much.

1258
01:26:31,311 --> 01:26:33,905
Say you'll go to dinner with him, too.

1259
01:26:36,774 --> 01:26:38,697
I'll have dinner with you, too.

1260
01:26:39,569 --> 01:26:41,242
She's afraid.

1261
01:26:41,446 --> 01:26:43,995
Jo will throw her out
if she has dinner with me.

1262
01:26:44,866 --> 01:26:46,459
Let's hear it, Jo.

1263
01:26:46,868 --> 01:26:50,623
Let me not to the marriage
of true minds be a problem.

1264
01:26:52,165 --> 01:26:54,133
I wanna help these kids.

1265
01:26:56,044 --> 01:26:57,341
- Harold.
- Yes?

1266
01:26:57,545 --> 01:26:59,388
We are in need of your services.

1267
01:27:00,506 --> 01:27:02,053
Marry these two.

1268
01:27:03,468 --> 01:27:06,517
Well, I would really like to oblige,
but, you know, I'm only a lawyer.

1269
01:27:06,721 --> 01:27:08,644
It's just not within my power.

1270
01:27:08,848 --> 01:27:10,236
Harold, come off it.

1271
01:27:10,725 --> 01:27:14,446
Anyone can see you're a witch doctor.
This is well within your power.

1272
01:27:15,230 --> 01:27:18,200
Jo, you aren't going to go along with this,
are you?

1273
01:27:20,360 --> 01:27:22,158
I mean, it's ridiculous.

1274
01:27:24,239 --> 01:27:26,662
I can't get married in this dress.

1275
01:27:29,285 --> 01:27:31,913
- Help her out, girls.
- I'm thrilled.

1276
01:27:32,121 --> 01:27:33,464
I love weddings.

1277
01:27:33,665 --> 01:27:35,542
Jo, this is our first wedding, isn't it?

1278
01:27:35,750 --> 01:27:37,172
I'll get the flowers.

1279
01:27:37,377 --> 01:27:40,221
And I have the perfect dress.
A real wedding dress.

1280
01:27:40,421 --> 01:27:42,344
I wear it for the weirdos.

1281
01:27:45,051 --> 01:27:46,553
Is this for real?

1282
01:27:46,761 --> 01:27:49,184
I mean, I know it's not, but is it?

1283
01:27:53,518 --> 01:27:54,644
Great.

1284
01:29:09,010 --> 01:29:11,763
Now, we can't have a wedding
without a ring.

1285
01:29:14,515 --> 01:29:15,915
It was my great grandmother's ring.

1286
01:29:17,393 --> 01:29:19,145
I want it back, Alli.

1287
01:29:23,816 --> 01:29:26,820
Dearly, beloved.
We are gathered here together

1288
01:29:27,028 --> 01:29:29,372
in this sacred house
in the presence of these men and women

1289
01:29:29,572 --> 01:29:32,075
to join this man, Solly Berliner,
and this woman...

1290
01:29:32,283 --> 01:29:34,081
What's your name?

1291
01:29:34,285 --> 01:29:35,502
I'm the bride.

1292
01:29:36,329 --> 01:29:38,002
Solly and the bride.

1293
01:29:38,206 --> 01:29:40,300
Show some respect for tradition.

1294
01:29:40,500 --> 01:29:42,502
Recite a poem or something.

1295
01:29:42,710 --> 01:29:44,390
Hey, Solly, think about what you're doing.

1296
01:29:44,837 --> 01:29:46,805
I mean, you hardly even know this woman.

1297
01:29:47,507 --> 01:29:48,508
I know her.

1298
01:29:48,716 --> 01:29:50,639
You never saw her before tonight.

1299
01:29:51,219 --> 01:29:52,562
I fucked her twice.

1300
01:29:52,762 --> 01:29:54,435
Was that what you were doing?

1301
01:29:54,847 --> 01:29:57,475
Well, you gotta do it more than that, man.

1302
01:29:57,683 --> 01:29:59,151
You gotta do it for years!

1303
01:29:59,352 --> 01:30:02,731
Solly's doing the right thing.
She's a wonderful girl.

1304
01:30:03,439 --> 01:30:04,827
It won't last.

1305
01:30:05,358 --> 01:30:07,110
Nothing lasts, Cavanaugh.

1306
01:30:07,318 --> 01:30:08,365
We keep trying-

1307
01:30:08,569 --> 01:30:09,741
Bullshit!

1308
01:30:10,488 --> 01:30:12,331
How about that poem, Harold?

1309
01:30:12,532 --> 01:30:13,704
Do it, Harold.

1310
01:30:16,577 --> 01:30:20,127
"Hickory, dickory, dock
The mouse ran up the clock"

1311
01:30:20,915 --> 01:30:22,007
"The clock struck one..."

1312
01:30:22,208 --> 01:30:24,210
The rest escaped with minor injuries.

1313
01:30:24,419 --> 01:30:26,046
Is that the only poem that you know?

1314
01:30:26,379 --> 01:30:28,848
- Get this show on the road!
- Okay.

1315
01:30:31,509 --> 01:30:33,227
Do you, Solly, take this woman...

1316
01:30:33,428 --> 01:30:35,146
- Whore!
- Woman!

1317
01:30:35,638 --> 01:30:37,015
- Whore!
- Woman!

1318
01:30:37,223 --> 01:30:38,270
I said whore!

1319
01:30:43,563 --> 01:30:44,860
Cavanaugh,

1320
01:30:45,898 --> 01:30:47,696
you got a real problem, you know that?

1321
01:30:47,900 --> 01:30:50,581
You must be some kind of faggot.
That's why Sarah needs another man!

1322
01:30:52,488 --> 01:30:54,365
Come on, Cavanaugh, break it up.

1323
01:30:54,574 --> 01:30:55,791
All right, come on.

1324
01:30:55,992 --> 01:30:58,120
All right, come on,
I'm not afraid of you anymore.

1325
01:30:58,327 --> 01:30:59,408
Come on, let's settle this!

1326
01:30:59,996 --> 01:31:01,213
Come on!

1327
01:31:04,250 --> 01:31:07,971
This is my wedding, you son of a bitch.
Her name is Allison!

1328
01:31:10,840 --> 01:31:12,137
Cavanaugh!

1329
01:31:28,858 --> 01:31:29,984
Hi, Jo.

1330
01:31:31,527 --> 01:31:32,744
How you been?

1331
01:31:32,945 --> 01:31:34,743
Very fine, and you?

1332
01:31:36,240 --> 01:31:39,619
I take it you got some objection
to marriage ceremonies?

1333
01:31:42,622 --> 01:31:44,465
We already been there.

1334
01:31:47,293 --> 01:31:49,261
We all started at the altar.

1335
01:31:49,921 --> 01:31:53,391
I was just trying to explain
that to the guys when you

1336
01:31:54,592 --> 01:31:56,640
interrupted our discussion.

1337
01:31:58,387 --> 01:32:00,936
I mean, if it's ceremonies they want,

1338
01:32:02,517 --> 01:32:04,611
maybe they should all go home,

1339
01:32:04,810 --> 01:32:06,904
where there's one going on
every fucking minute!

1340
01:32:11,901 --> 01:32:15,951
Just one long, long,
long, long, empty ceremony!

1341
01:32:16,155 --> 01:32:17,748
I need something more.

1342
01:32:17,949 --> 01:32:19,747
I need something real!

1343
01:32:22,119 --> 01:32:24,713
You protest too much, Cavanaugh.

1344
01:32:24,914 --> 01:32:28,885
As far as I can see, this ceremony
is the realest thing you know.

1345
01:32:30,711 --> 01:32:33,009
You're no different from them.

1346
01:32:34,507 --> 01:32:36,100
You're a husband.

1347
01:32:37,802 --> 01:32:39,725
And the worst kind, too.

1348
01:32:40,555 --> 01:32:44,105
The kind who never stops
thinking he's a lover.

1349
01:32:50,064 --> 01:32:51,816
Stand back, motherfucker.

1350
01:32:55,027 --> 01:32:56,825
You be the man you are,

1351
01:32:57,029 --> 01:33:00,875
or the next shot gets you
where the sun never shines.

1352
01:33:06,122 --> 01:33:09,376
If anybody knows a reason why this man
and woman should not be joined

1353
01:33:09,584 --> 01:33:11,586
in holy matrimony,

1354
01:33:11,794 --> 01:33:14,843
speak now, or forever hold your peace.

1355
01:33:21,721 --> 01:33:24,474
Let the ceremony continue,
Mr. Canterbury.

1356
01:33:26,392 --> 01:33:32,570
Bride here, groom here, preacher here.

1357
01:33:35,484 --> 01:33:37,361
Now, I was going to recite another poem,

1358
01:33:37,570 --> 01:33:40,870
but none really comes to mind.
Do you think anybody could oblige?

1359
01:33:42,617 --> 01:33:47,214
"You did not know, till now
Whom to love, or how"

1360
01:33:48,122 --> 01:33:51,843
"But be glad, be happy
For now you know"

1361
01:33:52,043 --> 01:33:55,764
"it's she of whom it has been sung"

1362
01:33:56,672 --> 01:33:58,766
"She makes the old man young"

1363
01:33:59,800 --> 01:34:01,643
"Keeps middle age away"

1364
01:34:02,970 --> 01:34:05,359
"Lets nothing in your heart decay"

1365
01:34:06,557 --> 01:34:09,356
"She is the reason why all the world"

1366
01:34:09,560 --> 01:34:11,358
"For love may die"

1367
01:34:14,565 --> 01:34:16,533
And now, Allison,

1368
01:34:17,777 --> 01:34:21,122
do you take this man, Solly,
to be your lawful wedded husband?

1369
01:34:22,531 --> 01:34:23,748
All right.

1370
01:34:24,283 --> 01:34:26,911
No, come on. Say, "I do."

1371
01:34:29,872 --> 01:34:30,919
I do.

1372
01:34:33,042 --> 01:34:35,921
Good. I now pronounce you man and wife.

1373
01:34:36,796 --> 01:34:37,922
Solly?

1374
01:34:47,598 --> 01:34:49,475
You can kiss the bride.

1375
01:34:57,024 --> 01:34:58,537
Come on, Solly.

1376
01:35:00,653 --> 01:35:02,530
Do it the way you're supposed to.

1377
01:35:22,007 --> 01:35:23,520
- Who wants to catch?
- I do!

1378
01:35:29,682 --> 01:35:31,275
Congratulations.

1379
01:35:34,603 --> 01:35:36,776
I need the keys to the pickup.

1380
01:35:38,232 --> 01:35:39,449
What for?

1381
01:35:41,861 --> 01:35:43,113
Our honeymoon.

1382
01:35:46,449 --> 01:35:48,201
You done good, Solly.

1383
01:35:58,878 --> 01:36:01,051
We're going on our honeymoon!

1384
01:36:06,844 --> 01:36:09,313
All right, somebody get some tin cans
and some string.

1385
01:36:15,686 --> 01:36:17,859
Everybody, wait! Tomorrow's the weekend.

1386
01:36:18,063 --> 01:36:20,486
I've got a place in Tahoe.
It's big enough for all of us.

1387
01:36:20,691 --> 01:36:21,817
We'll honeymoon with you.
What do you say?

1388
01:36:22,026 --> 01:36:23,278
Great idea!

1389
01:36:37,666 --> 01:36:40,055
We're off! To Tahoe real fast.

1390
01:36:55,893 --> 01:36:57,520
Aren't you going?

1391
01:37:01,023 --> 01:37:02,536
I'm going home.