1
00:00:25,693 --> 00:00:28,128
<i>-Action.</i>
<i>-Design.</i>

2
00:00:33,166 --> 00:00:35,570
♪ <i>Ding, dong, ding</i> ♪

3
00:00:36,671 --> 00:00:39,473
♪ <i>Ding, dong, ding</i> ♪

4
00:00:46,313 --> 00:00:49,416
♪ Have a holly jolly Christmas ♪

5
00:00:49,449 --> 00:00:53,053
♪ It's the best time
of the year ♪

6
00:00:53,855 --> 00:00:57,291
♪ I don't know
if there'll be snow ♪

7
00:00:57,324 --> 00:00:59,827
♪ But have a cup of cheer ♪

8
00:00:59,861 --> 00:01:03,297
♪ Have a holly jolly Christmas ♪

9
00:01:03,330 --> 00:01:06,166
♪ And when you walk
down the street... ♪

10
00:01:07,802 --> 00:01:10,203
Another one?

11
00:01:10,237 --> 00:01:14,207
Well, I'm still vertical,
so I'd like to change that.

12
00:01:14,241 --> 00:01:17,579
♪ Oh, ho, the mistletoe ♪

13
00:01:17,612 --> 00:01:20,180
♪ Hung where you can see ♪

14
00:01:20,848 --> 00:01:23,216
♪ Somebody waits for you... ♪

15
00:01:23,250 --> 00:01:25,452
Ho, ho.

16
00:01:26,888 --> 00:01:29,289
Bitter. Pint.

17
00:01:30,457 --> 00:01:31,859
You just get off?

18
00:01:31,893 --> 00:01:34,729
♪ And in case you didn't hear ♪

19
00:01:34,762 --> 00:01:37,130
♪ Oh, by golly,
have a holly... ♪

20
00:01:37,164 --> 00:01:38,866
I'm taking a break.

21
00:01:38,900 --> 00:01:41,201
Between shifts,
I guess you could say.

22
00:01:41,234 --> 00:01:42,670
-Hmm.
-You ain't driving, are you?

23
00:01:42,704 --> 00:01:45,740
I steer a little, but the
reindeer do most of the work.

24
00:01:48,676 --> 00:01:50,177
Mm-hmm.

25
00:01:50,210 --> 00:01:52,379
This is my, uh,
fourth year as a Santa.

26
00:01:52,412 --> 00:01:53,581
Ah.

27
00:01:53,615 --> 00:01:54,816
How about you?

28
00:01:54,849 --> 00:01:57,217
Lost count.

29
00:01:57,250 --> 00:02:00,220
I forget why I started doing it
in the first place.

30
00:02:00,253 --> 00:02:03,423
Same reason anybody
does anything.

31
00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:05,258
The money.

32
00:02:05,292 --> 00:02:07,862
Money. Money.

33
00:02:07,895 --> 00:02:09,831
This whole planet runs on greed.

34
00:02:14,569 --> 00:02:16,938
It's the look on
the kiddies' faces, innit?

35
00:02:16,971 --> 00:02:18,606
That's what does it for me.

36
00:02:18,640 --> 00:02:22,543
Ah, the look. Yeah, that look.

37
00:02:22,577 --> 00:02:24,512
Lasts about two seconds.

38
00:02:24,545 --> 00:02:26,848
As soon as they're finished
unwrapping,

39
00:02:26,881 --> 00:02:29,416
they want the next present,

40
00:02:29,449 --> 00:02:32,219
they want the next cool thing.

41
00:02:32,252 --> 00:02:34,221
That's how this world works.

42
00:02:34,254 --> 00:02:36,289
And kids--
what kids have become.

43
00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:40,427
They're just like
little junkies.

44
00:02:40,460 --> 00:02:42,964
They're little shits.
They just demand.

45
00:02:42,997 --> 00:02:44,732
They don't believe.

46
00:02:44,766 --> 00:02:48,536
They just want, crave, consume.

47
00:02:53,373 --> 00:02:55,743
Maybe this is my last year.

48
00:02:57,845 --> 00:03:00,213
The last Christmas.

49
00:03:03,551 --> 00:03:07,421
Well, I can't stand seeing
another Santa in distress.

50
00:03:08,388 --> 00:03:09,857
Put his drinks on my tab.

51
00:03:09,891 --> 00:03:11,425
-Okay?
-Yeah.

52
00:03:11,458 --> 00:03:13,961
Oh, very merry of you. Okay.

53
00:03:13,995 --> 00:03:16,463
I better get going.

54
00:03:16,496 --> 00:03:18,666
Presents aren't gonna
deliver themselves.

55
00:03:19,801 --> 00:03:21,836
Oh, uh...

56
00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:23,738
For your grandson.
Save me a trip.

57
00:03:23,771 --> 00:03:25,573
It's, uh, that new video game.

58
00:03:25,606 --> 00:03:28,576
It's <i>Astro Blaster,</i>
<i>Blaster Astro.</i>

59
00:03:28,609 --> 00:03:30,410
I-I don't know.

60
00:03:30,444 --> 00:03:31,846
Merry Christmas.

61
00:03:31,879 --> 00:03:34,314
How'd he know
my grandson's name?

62
00:03:34,347 --> 00:03:37,451
How'd he know I have
a grandson?

63
00:03:37,484 --> 00:03:41,689
Oi! That door leads to the roof.

64
00:03:41,723 --> 00:03:42,990
Piss head.

65
00:03:43,024 --> 00:03:45,660
Go easy on him. It's Christmas.

66
00:03:47,762 --> 00:03:51,032
Hey! You can't be up here.

67
00:03:51,065 --> 00:03:54,769
If you break your neck,
I'm the one...

68
00:04:14,722 --> 00:04:17,257
My God.

69
00:04:22,063 --> 00:04:23,898
It's...

70
00:04:25,967 --> 00:04:27,535
...beauti...

71
00:05:14,414 --> 00:05:16,551
Hi. Hi, hi, hi.

72
00:05:16,584 --> 00:05:18,853
There she is. Hello, muffin.

73
00:05:19,854 --> 00:05:22,322
Let's go see Grandma.

74
00:05:23,891 --> 00:05:25,425
Ooh.

75
00:05:25,458 --> 00:05:27,662
Merry Christmas.

76
00:05:29,897 --> 00:05:31,566
Merry Christmas, Trudy.

77
00:05:31,599 --> 00:05:32,600
Merry...

78
00:05:32,633 --> 00:05:34,434
Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah!

79
00:05:34,467 --> 00:05:37,772
Merry Christmas, Daddy,
ya filthy animal.

80
00:05:39,406 --> 00:05:41,576
She got to stay up late
and watch <i>Home Alone.</i>

81
00:05:41,609 --> 00:05:42,475
Uh-huh.

82
00:05:42,510 --> 00:05:45,445
It was so funny.

83
00:05:45,478 --> 00:05:47,982
-Yep.
-That... that hurts.

84
00:05:48,015 --> 00:05:49,584
-All morning.
-Okay, um...

85
00:05:49,617 --> 00:05:51,519
Thank you.

86
00:05:52,452 --> 00:05:54,421
For doing this.

87
00:05:54,454 --> 00:05:56,624
I'm not doing it for you.

88
00:05:58,159 --> 00:06:00,561
-It's Christmas!
-Yeah!

89
00:06:19,780 --> 00:06:21,148
Merry Christmas, Al.

90
00:06:21,182 --> 00:06:23,017
Hi, Linda. Merry Christmas.

91
00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:25,019
-Mr. Lightstone.
-Hey, Al.

92
00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:26,554
Hey, you back there, Tru?

93
00:06:26,587 --> 00:06:28,122
Yeah, I bet you're excited
for Christmas.

94
00:06:28,155 --> 00:06:30,057
What did you ask Santa for?

95
00:06:30,091 --> 00:06:31,692
Not to work on Christmas Eve.

96
00:06:31,726 --> 00:06:33,194
Must've been naughty this year,

97
00:06:33,227 --> 00:06:34,896
-'cause here I am.
-Mm-hmm.

98
00:06:34,929 --> 00:06:37,031
Just make sure you let Santa
through the gates later, Al.

99
00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:38,498
-Yeah.
-Have a merry one, now.

100
00:06:38,532 --> 00:06:40,534
-Merry Christmas.
-Merry Christmas, Al.

101
00:06:40,568 --> 00:06:42,536
Merry Christmas, Tru.

102
00:06:42,570 --> 00:06:43,971
-Thank you, Al.
-Yeah.

103
00:07:06,861 --> 00:07:09,697
I can't remember
where the second one is.

104
00:07:12,733 --> 00:07:14,802
Ho, ho, ho, ho.

105
00:07:14,835 --> 00:07:16,570
Merry Christmas.

106
00:07:16,604 --> 00:07:18,639
Hope you're on the nice list.

107
00:07:18,673 --> 00:07:21,474
That doesn't go over there.

108
00:07:29,083 --> 00:07:30,952
Excuse me.

109
00:07:34,989 --> 00:07:36,791
What the hell is this?

110
00:07:36,824 --> 00:07:39,093
You are the worst
catering company on the planet.

111
00:07:39,126 --> 00:07:41,128
It's lengthwise, not width.

112
00:07:41,162 --> 00:07:42,997
Unbelievable.

113
00:07:59,747 --> 00:08:00,715
Okay.

114
00:08:00,748 --> 00:08:02,850
Hi. Hi, guys. Merry Christmas.

115
00:08:02,883 --> 00:08:04,852
-Hi.
-I'm fine. Thank you so much.

116
00:08:07,688 --> 00:08:11,625
I'll never get over the fact
that you grew up like this.

117
00:08:12,727 --> 00:08:15,029
My therapist says
I'll never get over it, either.

118
00:08:15,997 --> 00:08:17,131
I need a drink.

119
00:08:17,164 --> 00:08:18,733
♪ Two turtledoves ♪

120
00:08:18,766 --> 00:08:21,769
♪ And a partridge
in a pear tree... ♪

121
00:08:21,802 --> 00:08:25,039
Hey, look at that.

122
00:08:34,015 --> 00:08:35,783
Hi, Linda.

123
00:08:35,816 --> 00:08:38,019
-Hey.
-How's it going, Alva?

124
00:08:38,052 --> 00:08:39,787
Mm-hmm. You gained weight.

125
00:08:39,820 --> 00:08:42,656
Looks good on you, though.

126
00:08:42,690 --> 00:08:44,625
-Thank you.
-Mm-hmm.

127
00:08:44,658 --> 00:08:46,160
'Sup, limp dick?

128
00:08:47,795 --> 00:08:49,296
I got great feelings
about this Christmas.

129
00:08:49,330 --> 00:08:51,632
-You want to know why?
-Yeah.

130
00:08:51,665 --> 00:08:53,601
'Cause I think this is the year

131
00:08:53,634 --> 00:08:55,636
that Mom's gonna
kick herself upstairs

132
00:08:55,669 --> 00:08:58,039
and choose one of us
to start running the show.

133
00:08:58,072 --> 00:09:02,610
And I got to tell you, Jason,
that I'm gunning for your ass.

134
00:09:03,978 --> 00:09:05,780
What would a Lightstone
family Christmas be

135
00:09:05,813 --> 00:09:07,648
without groveling
and infighting?

136
00:09:09,083 --> 00:09:10,684
Your rosé, ma'am.

137
00:09:10,718 --> 00:09:13,254
Honey, smile. It's Christmas.

138
00:09:13,287 --> 00:09:14,588
Mm.

139
00:09:14,622 --> 00:09:16,057
Good. Good girl.

140
00:09:18,392 --> 00:09:21,629
I am sorry about my sister.

141
00:09:21,662 --> 00:09:24,065
♪ Making spirits bright ♪

142
00:09:24,098 --> 00:09:27,101
♪ What fun it is
to ride and sing... ♪

143
00:09:27,134 --> 00:09:29,570
It is really nice to see you.

144
00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:33,607
To have you here.

145
00:09:33,641 --> 00:09:36,811
♪ Jingle all the way... ♪

146
00:09:36,844 --> 00:09:40,181
Okay, I'm behind. Catch me up
on all the hot goss.

147
00:09:40,214 --> 00:09:42,049
Hot goss. Okay.

148
00:09:42,083 --> 00:09:45,886
Um, well, you remember Bert,
my sister's pride and joy.

149
00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:49,757
Yo, yo, yo.
This is the Bert Locker

150
00:09:49,790 --> 00:09:53,694
living that bling life
on Christmas Eve.

151
00:09:55,196 --> 00:09:56,697
Hashtag "blessed."

152
00:09:56,730 --> 00:09:59,100
He just got
what I can only assume

153
00:09:59,133 --> 00:10:02,336
will be his first of many
sexual harassment accusations.

154
00:10:02,369 --> 00:10:04,105
Mom paid off the school,

155
00:10:04,138 --> 00:10:06,240
and now the gymnasium
is named after us.

156
00:10:06,273 --> 00:10:08,242
Of course she did.

157
00:10:08,275 --> 00:10:09,310
What about Tragic Mike?

158
00:10:09,343 --> 00:10:11,145
All I'm saying is,

159
00:10:11,178 --> 00:10:12,913
if I was on one of those planes,

160
00:10:12,947 --> 00:10:14,915
9/11 would've ended
with a bunch of terrorists

161
00:10:14,949 --> 00:10:18,719
skydiving over Connecticut
without their parachutes.

162
00:10:18,752 --> 00:10:20,754
-Yeah. You like that?
-Yes. Yes.

163
00:10:20,788 --> 00:10:22,890
-Yeah, I do like it.
-Ooh.

164
00:10:22,923 --> 00:10:25,226
-Kiss me in front of my son.
-Now, huh?

165
00:10:25,259 --> 00:10:27,895
Mm...

166
00:10:27,928 --> 00:10:29,897
He might actually be
a decent actor.

167
00:10:29,930 --> 00:10:31,966
-Hmm. -He's been doing
an Oscar-worthy job

168
00:10:31,999 --> 00:10:34,435
of pretending to find
my sister appealing.

169
00:10:34,468 --> 00:10:37,104
Now he wants Mom
to fund a film for him.

170
00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:42,009
-It's Gertrude!
-It's Mom.

171
00:10:42,042 --> 00:10:44,011
-Okay, let's do this.
-Okay, okay. Come on.

172
00:10:44,044 --> 00:10:45,779
-Come on. Bert, get over here.
-No. Mom. Mom!

173
00:10:45,813 --> 00:10:47,014
-Positions.
-Game time, buddy.

174
00:10:47,047 --> 00:10:48,849
-Okay. Okay.
-This is my good side.

175
00:10:48,883 --> 00:10:50,684
-I'm busy.
-We've gone over this! Come on!

176
00:10:50,718 --> 00:10:51,785
Gosh. Okay.

177
00:10:51,819 --> 00:10:53,087
Bert, get in the middle.

178
00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:54,321
So it begins.

179
00:10:54,355 --> 00:10:56,257
Seriously, come.
You know what that means.

180
00:10:56,290 --> 00:10:58,292
Shall we jockey forward?

181
00:10:58,325 --> 00:11:00,161
No.

182
00:11:01,295 --> 00:11:03,898
No, we can hang back.

183
00:11:03,931 --> 00:11:05,299
Yeah.

184
00:11:05,332 --> 00:11:07,034
Trudy, honey?

185
00:11:08,802 --> 00:11:09,937
Come on over here.

186
00:11:11,372 --> 00:11:13,440
Just, like...

187
00:11:13,474 --> 00:11:15,309
Threaten 'em or bribe 'em.

188
00:11:15,342 --> 00:11:16,744
This isn't rocket science.

189
00:11:16,777 --> 00:11:18,212
Same shit we always do.

190
00:11:19,980 --> 00:11:21,182
That's what?

191
00:11:21,215 --> 00:11:23,384
That's the best you can do?

192
00:11:23,417 --> 00:11:25,319
Excited to see your grandma?

193
00:11:25,352 --> 00:11:26,787
Listen, you cocksucker.

194
00:11:26,820 --> 00:11:28,722
It's Christmas,
so why don't you take

195
00:11:28,756 --> 00:11:30,457
your best offer, gift wrap it,

196
00:11:30,491 --> 00:11:33,494
and ram it up your fucking box.

197
00:11:34,962 --> 00:11:37,164
Maybe you don't
realize who I am.

198
00:11:37,198 --> 00:11:38,866
Those were Grandma words.
You know, forget them.

199
00:11:38,899 --> 00:11:40,502
Oh, boy.
Look at Mr. Cool back here.

200
00:11:40,535 --> 00:11:42,937
Yeah, what's your angle, man?
Hmm?

201
00:11:42,970 --> 00:11:45,406
No angle.
I'm not doing anything.

202
00:11:45,439 --> 00:11:47,007
Oh, yeah.

203
00:11:47,041 --> 00:11:48,809
No, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no. No!

204
00:11:48,842 --> 00:11:51,513
Don't shit in my mouth
and tell me it's chocolate cake.

205
00:11:51,546 --> 00:11:52,913
Grandma's cool.

206
00:11:52,947 --> 00:11:55,149
I can make that story go away...

207
00:11:55,182 --> 00:11:56,951
I think your brother's
up to something.

208
00:11:56,984 --> 00:11:58,786
No, I just decided
to let you guys

209
00:11:58,819 --> 00:12:00,454
have all the fun
sucking up to Mom today.

210
00:12:00,487 --> 00:12:03,324
Please. You are King Suck-up.

211
00:12:03,357 --> 00:12:05,359
You named your kid Gertrude.

212
00:12:06,860 --> 00:12:09,096
Alva, you named
your son Bertrude.

213
00:12:09,129 --> 00:12:11,065
Okay.

214
00:12:11,098 --> 00:12:13,000
Sorry, Bert,
but that's not a real name.

215
00:12:13,033 --> 00:12:15,537
Sorry, Linda. We can't all be
lucky enough to have daughters.

216
00:12:15,570 --> 00:12:17,771
Mom, I can hear you.

217
00:12:18,839 --> 00:12:21,275
You know something we don't.
What is it?

218
00:12:21,308 --> 00:12:23,043
No, I don't. I don't.

219
00:12:23,077 --> 00:12:24,245
I got it. Bingo.

220
00:12:24,278 --> 00:12:25,412
I'm onto you, man. Come on!

221
00:12:25,446 --> 00:12:27,248
-We were just...
-Come on,

222
00:12:27,281 --> 00:12:28,449
come on, come on, come on.

223
00:12:28,482 --> 00:12:30,784
-You big sack of shit.
-Ooh.

224
00:12:30,818 --> 00:12:32,419
No wonder your husband left you.

225
00:12:32,453 --> 00:12:34,855
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

226
00:12:35,856 --> 00:12:38,158
Merry Christmas to you, too,
Senator.

227
00:12:39,026 --> 00:12:40,794
-Merry Christmas, Mommy.
-Merry Christmas.

228
00:12:42,296 --> 00:12:43,864
Merry Christmas.

229
00:12:43,897 --> 00:12:46,367
Why in the hell are you standing
all the way back there?

230
00:12:47,434 --> 00:12:49,336
Merry Christmas, Grandma!

231
00:12:49,370 --> 00:12:51,272
-Aw.
-Little bitch.

232
00:12:51,305 --> 00:12:53,907
Little Gertrude. And how is
my favorite granddaughter?

233
00:12:53,941 --> 00:12:56,310
Everybody calls me Trudy now.

234
00:12:56,343 --> 00:12:58,112
Trudy?

235
00:12:59,346 --> 00:13:01,583
-Well, that makes her
sound like a whore. -Okay.

236
00:13:01,616 --> 00:13:04,218
Oh, she doesn't even know
the meaning of the word.

237
00:13:04,251 --> 00:13:06,487
I'm starving. Let's eat.

238
00:13:06,521 --> 00:13:08,088
Great.

239
00:13:08,122 --> 00:13:10,457
And, Mom, I think Gertrude
is a beautiful name.

240
00:13:10,491 --> 00:13:12,893
Mm-hmm.
I only call her Gertrude.

241
00:13:12,926 --> 00:13:14,128
-Merry Christmas, Gertrude.
-Come on, Bertrude.

242
00:13:14,161 --> 00:13:17,965
♪ When the kids
are fast asleep ♪

243
00:13:17,998 --> 00:13:20,502
♪ Gently down the stairs
we'll creep ♪

244
00:13:22,202 --> 00:13:25,072
♪ Then we'll lock and bolt
all the doors ♪

245
00:13:25,105 --> 00:13:28,610
♪ Just you and me
and Santa Claus ♪

246
00:13:30,177 --> 00:13:33,013
♪ We'll be as quiet
as quiet can be ♪

247
00:13:33,047 --> 00:13:36,250
♪ Planting toys under the tree ♪

248
00:13:36,283 --> 00:13:40,254
♪ We'll be crawling around
on all fours ♪

249
00:13:40,287 --> 00:13:41,922
♪ Just you and me ♪

250
00:13:41,955 --> 00:13:44,425
♪ And Santa Claus ♪

251
00:13:51,965 --> 00:13:53,934
♪ For soon will be ♪

252
00:13:53,967 --> 00:13:55,603
♪ That magic time ♪

253
00:13:55,637 --> 00:13:58,172
♪ When we hear
that midnight chime ♪

254
00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:01,576
♪ When that flying sleigh ♪

255
00:14:01,609 --> 00:14:04,011
♪ Finally flies away ♪

256
00:14:04,044 --> 00:14:07,181
♪ We'll have a very merry
Christmas Day ♪

257
00:14:07,214 --> 00:14:11,619
♪ We'll raise a toast
to the team with the most ♪

258
00:14:11,653 --> 00:14:15,022
♪ The best there ever was ♪

259
00:14:15,055 --> 00:14:19,093
♪ You and me
and Santa Claus... ♪

260
00:14:19,126 --> 00:14:21,995
Another fucking Christmas.

261
00:14:25,232 --> 00:14:27,034
<i>I made these all by myself.</i>

262
00:14:27,067 --> 00:14:28,469
<i>-No way.</i>
<i>-Mm-hmm.</i>

263
00:14:28,503 --> 00:14:30,638
I even made one
that looks exactly like Santa.

264
00:14:30,672 --> 00:14:33,273
-Exactly.
-Yeah.

265
00:14:34,108 --> 00:14:35,510
Santa gets a candy cane, too?

266
00:14:35,543 --> 00:14:37,111
Yeah.

267
00:14:37,144 --> 00:14:38,379
Mm, okay.

268
00:14:39,681 --> 00:14:41,382
It's perfect.

269
00:14:41,415 --> 00:14:43,117
No peeking.

270
00:14:43,150 --> 00:14:45,486
This house has so many chimneys.

271
00:14:47,087 --> 00:14:49,289
How will Santa know
which one to come down?

272
00:14:49,323 --> 00:14:51,191
Oh, Santa just knows.

273
00:14:51,225 --> 00:14:52,893
Christmas magic.

274
00:14:55,630 --> 00:14:57,364
Honey, what's wrong?

275
00:14:57,398 --> 00:15:01,034
Daddy never took me to see
Santa at the mall this year.

276
00:15:01,636 --> 00:15:04,037
He didn't.

277
00:15:06,340 --> 00:15:08,342
I am so sorry.

278
00:15:10,177 --> 00:15:12,112
This year has been weird.

279
00:15:12,146 --> 00:15:15,683
I never got to tell Santa
what I wanted for Christmas.

280
00:15:15,717 --> 00:15:18,318
Oh, honey. Come here.

281
00:15:22,055 --> 00:15:24,526
You know what?

282
00:15:24,559 --> 00:15:28,696
You go put your pj's on,

283
00:15:28,730 --> 00:15:31,999
and I will be two minutes.

284
00:15:37,639 --> 00:15:40,073
Yes!

285
00:15:41,408 --> 00:15:43,745
Okay...

286
00:15:51,686 --> 00:15:53,454
Yes.

287
00:15:57,324 --> 00:15:59,226
Yes!

288
00:16:00,562 --> 00:16:05,065
Because you have been so good
to me and Mommy this year,

289
00:16:05,098 --> 00:16:09,069
we decided that
you could have one gift...

290
00:16:09,102 --> 00:16:10,738
early!

291
00:16:10,772 --> 00:16:13,373
Really?

292
00:16:17,377 --> 00:16:19,480
What is it?

293
00:16:21,381 --> 00:16:25,018
That is a very special
walkie-talkie.

294
00:16:25,052 --> 00:16:26,453
It's magic.

295
00:16:26,487 --> 00:16:27,722
-Magic?
-Mm-hmm.

296
00:16:27,755 --> 00:16:30,090
What you got right there

297
00:16:30,123 --> 00:16:32,359
is a direct hotline
to Santa Claus himself.

298
00:16:32,392 --> 00:16:35,195
-I can talk to Santa?
-Oh, yeah.

299
00:16:35,229 --> 00:16:39,233
It's just like writing him
a letter... but better.

300
00:16:39,266 --> 00:16:40,167
Mm-hmm.

301
00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:42,770
Now, the only thing is,

302
00:16:42,804 --> 00:16:45,272
he might not have time
to answer you.

303
00:16:45,305 --> 00:16:47,341
He's delivering a lot
of presents tonight.

304
00:16:47,374 --> 00:16:48,408
Mm-hmm.

305
00:16:48,442 --> 00:16:51,311
But he'll hear everything
you want to say to him.

306
00:16:57,685 --> 00:16:59,521
Hello, Santa?

307
00:16:59,554 --> 00:17:03,056
This is Trudy Lightstone.

308
00:17:03,090 --> 00:17:05,125
I hope you're having
a nice night.

309
00:17:05,158 --> 00:17:07,227
Mm.

310
00:17:07,261 --> 00:17:12,099
It's really cold tonight,
so don't forget your mittens.

311
00:17:12,800 --> 00:17:16,136
So, I wanted to tell you, Santa,

312
00:17:16,169 --> 00:17:17,805
I was extra good this year,

313
00:17:17,839 --> 00:17:22,175
so I wrote a big list for you
with all the stuff I wanted.

314
00:17:23,443 --> 00:17:25,312
But then...

315
00:17:25,345 --> 00:17:28,650
then I realized
I don't need any of that.

316
00:17:29,684 --> 00:17:33,387
I really only want
one present for Christmas.

317
00:17:34,889 --> 00:17:38,626
I want Mommy and Daddy
to make up

318
00:17:38,660 --> 00:17:41,194
so we can be a family again.

319
00:17:42,329 --> 00:17:43,831
Okay.

320
00:17:43,865 --> 00:17:46,233
Good night, Santa.

321
00:17:47,502 --> 00:17:49,469
Good night, Mr. Bunny.

322
00:18:01,816 --> 00:18:03,585
Which one of you did that?

323
00:18:04,852 --> 00:18:06,320
You can't go two seconds without

324
00:18:06,353 --> 00:18:08,322
crapping on the roof
like a bunch of pigeons?

325
00:18:09,791 --> 00:18:13,093
So unprofessional.

326
00:18:15,362 --> 00:18:18,332
You know, Rudolph
will never do this crap.

327
00:18:31,512 --> 00:18:33,246
Hmm.

328
00:18:37,484 --> 00:18:39,319
Mmm.

329
00:18:45,827 --> 00:18:48,261
Mmm, mmm.

330
00:18:49,396 --> 00:18:51,465
Homemade.

331
00:18:51,498 --> 00:18:52,767
Mmm.

332
00:18:56,704 --> 00:18:58,673
Ugh.

333
00:18:58,706 --> 00:19:00,374
Skim.

334
00:19:10,585 --> 00:19:12,219
Oh, yeah.

335
00:19:12,252 --> 00:19:14,354
That's the stuff.

336
00:19:18,693 --> 00:19:20,628
Mmm.

337
00:19:21,629 --> 00:19:23,397
DuBoi...

338
00:19:23,430 --> 00:19:26,400
On some prewar shit
right there.

339
00:19:26,433 --> 00:19:28,770
Good shit.

340
00:19:40,615 --> 00:19:41,916
Mmm.

341
00:19:41,949 --> 00:19:43,685
That pairs well.

342
00:19:43,718 --> 00:19:46,453
What do we have here?

343
00:20:02,637 --> 00:20:04,539
Oh, yeah.

344
00:20:04,572 --> 00:20:06,473
That's the stuff.

345
00:20:15,415 --> 00:20:18,452
You know, uh...

346
00:20:18,485 --> 00:20:21,421
Christmas is all right,

347
00:20:21,455 --> 00:20:25,225
but you Americans don't
celebrate my favorite holiday.

348
00:20:25,860 --> 00:20:27,729
Oh, yeah? What?

349
00:20:27,762 --> 00:20:29,463
Boxing Day.

350
00:21:02,797 --> 00:21:04,364
Yo, yo. B. Lightstone here,

351
00:21:04,397 --> 00:21:05,967
live streaming the dream,
you know.

352
00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:08,669
They say the richest man...

353
00:21:09,804 --> 00:21:11,639
Say goodbye.

354
00:21:11,672 --> 00:21:13,473
And if you...

355
00:21:14,575 --> 00:21:17,578
Grandma! Your Wi-Fi sucks dick.

356
00:21:17,612 --> 00:21:19,312
Damn it!

357
00:21:19,346 --> 00:21:21,783
When he was small,
I begged you to beat him.

358
00:21:39,366 --> 00:21:41,368
Hey. Merry Christmas.

359
00:21:41,401 --> 00:21:42,870
Or should I say
"happy holidays" now?

360
00:21:42,904 --> 00:21:45,072
Right? I mean, it's like,
people, make up your minds.

361
00:21:45,106 --> 00:21:47,340
-You know what I'm saying?
-Can I help you?

362
00:21:47,374 --> 00:21:49,076
Oh, yeah. I sure hope so.
See, uh,

363
00:21:49,110 --> 00:21:50,945
my car broke down
a little ways...

364
00:21:50,978 --> 00:21:52,814
Out here?
This is a private road.

365
00:21:52,847 --> 00:21:54,649
You're telling me.

366
00:21:54,682 --> 00:21:56,918
It's the first place
I've seen for miles.

367
00:21:56,951 --> 00:21:58,119
I think I got frostbite.

368
00:21:58,152 --> 00:21:59,587
Where the hell am I, anyway?

369
00:21:59,620 --> 00:22:01,388
G.T. Lightstone family compound.

370
00:22:01,421 --> 00:22:03,323
I'll call you a tow.

371
00:22:12,166 --> 00:22:14,101
All right, revelers.

372
00:22:14,135 --> 00:22:15,970
Time to steal Christmas.

373
00:22:16,003 --> 00:22:17,370
Sound off.

374
00:22:17,404 --> 00:22:18,840
Jingle. Check.

375
00:22:18,873 --> 00:22:20,675
Peppermint. Check.

376
00:22:20,708 --> 00:22:21,976
Sugarplum. Check.

377
00:22:22,009 --> 00:22:24,912
Krampus. Ready to fuck shit up.

378
00:22:24,946 --> 00:22:26,747
Candy Cane. Check.

379
00:22:26,781 --> 00:22:29,449
-Go for Frosty.
-Go for Tinsel.

380
00:22:29,482 --> 00:22:31,018
Go for Gingerbread.

381
00:22:31,052 --> 00:22:33,988
Are we gonna use these stupid
code names all night?

382
00:22:34,021 --> 00:22:35,623
'Tis the season.

383
00:22:35,656 --> 00:22:39,426
Welcome to your worst
Christmas ever.

384
00:22:39,459 --> 00:22:42,797
Trudy loves seeing Santa
at the mall.

385
00:22:43,631 --> 00:22:45,465
She loves going with her father.

386
00:22:45,498 --> 00:22:47,001
And you should've
taken her yesterday,

387
00:22:47,034 --> 00:22:48,468
like you do every Christmas,

388
00:22:48,502 --> 00:22:50,104
but we didn't even
hear from you.

389
00:22:50,137 --> 00:22:51,505
Mom put me on a special project.

390
00:22:51,539 --> 00:22:52,874
-It's complicated.
-But it's not,

391
00:22:52,907 --> 00:22:54,909
because it keeps happening
over and over.

392
00:22:54,942 --> 00:22:57,645
-Your mother forcing herself
between us. -You're right.

393
00:23:02,516 --> 00:23:04,552
What if we could give Trudy
her Christmas wish?

394
00:23:04,585 --> 00:23:06,654
You're trying to win me back

395
00:23:06,687 --> 00:23:09,156
with a romantic weekend
at your mother's?

396
00:23:09,190 --> 00:23:12,693
What if things
really changed this time?

397
00:23:14,494 --> 00:23:16,797
We got out from under
my mother's thumb.

398
00:23:16,831 --> 00:23:18,633
We'll walk away.

399
00:23:18,666 --> 00:23:21,468
From the company, the family.

400
00:23:24,038 --> 00:23:25,740
Tonight.

401
00:23:26,540 --> 00:23:27,975
What are you up to?

402
00:24:13,254 --> 00:24:14,622
Let's go.

403
00:24:14,655 --> 00:24:17,058
We need to get you out of here.

404
00:24:17,091 --> 00:24:18,826
Mommy, where are you going?

405
00:24:18,859 --> 00:24:20,661
-She's going for the panic room!
-What?

406
00:24:20,695 --> 00:24:22,096
-Yes. Go, Bertrude.
-Without us?

407
00:24:27,768 --> 00:24:30,004
Fuck, fuck, fuck,
fuck, fuck, fuck.

408
00:24:51,759 --> 00:24:53,694
There isn't room for all of us.

409
00:24:53,728 --> 00:24:55,262
She can fit at least two of us.
Mom, take me.

410
00:24:55,296 --> 00:24:57,264
-Mom!
-Oh. Yeah.

411
00:24:57,298 --> 00:24:59,133
M-Mom, can Bert come, too?

412
00:25:01,702 --> 00:25:03,037
Okay. Move it or lose it, son.

413
00:25:03,070 --> 00:25:04,638
-Move it!
-Whoa, whoa, whoa.

414
00:25:04,672 --> 00:25:06,741
You're supposed to protect us.

415
00:25:06,774 --> 00:25:08,542
We protect the primary asset.

416
00:25:12,279 --> 00:25:13,614
Who the hell are you?

417
00:25:13,647 --> 00:25:16,650
You can call me Mr. Scrooge.

418
00:25:17,218 --> 00:25:18,753
Hilarious.

419
00:25:18,786 --> 00:25:20,054
Get him.

420
00:25:28,696 --> 00:25:31,032
Bah humbug, motherfucker.

421
00:25:40,341 --> 00:25:42,743
Hey. Step aside.

422
00:25:43,911 --> 00:25:46,313
Tinsel, Peppermint,
sweep upstairs.

423
00:25:46,347 --> 00:25:48,716
I want all the Lightstones
together.

424
00:25:49,316 --> 00:25:51,118
Kill anybody else you find.

425
00:26:01,262 --> 00:26:04,098
Fuck. Fuck, fuck.

426
00:26:04,965 --> 00:26:07,601
Trudy, honey, we got to go.

427
00:26:08,335 --> 00:26:09,970
Wake up, honey. Wake up.

428
00:26:10,004 --> 00:26:12,840
Maybe we can get out the back
by the servants' stairs.

429
00:26:19,713 --> 00:26:22,083
Oh, come on. Not now. Not now.

430
00:26:23,217 --> 00:26:25,186
Fuck! Fuck!

431
00:26:25,219 --> 00:26:26,954
Mistletoe, gingerbread.

432
00:26:51,011 --> 00:26:52,012
Hey!

433
00:26:54,915 --> 00:26:56,117
Oh. Oh.

434
00:26:56,150 --> 00:26:57,651
Hi.

435
00:26:57,685 --> 00:27:00,187
You got me.

436
00:27:00,221 --> 00:27:02,723
I don't want any trouble, okay?

437
00:27:02,756 --> 00:27:04,391
Downstairs. Now.

438
00:27:04,425 --> 00:27:08,195
Look, mister,
I don't want to get involved.

439
00:27:08,229 --> 00:27:10,364
I just...
I just have a job to do.

440
00:27:10,397 --> 00:27:11,866
Okay? That's it.

441
00:27:11,899 --> 00:27:14,401
I'm just gonna take my bag,

442
00:27:14,435 --> 00:27:17,138
and I'm just gonna
scooch up that chimney.

443
00:27:18,739 --> 00:27:20,674
Enough talk. Let's go.

444
00:27:21,308 --> 00:27:23,043
You don't want to do this.

445
00:27:23,077 --> 00:27:24,245
What? This?

446
00:27:26,046 --> 00:27:27,281
Now, move!

447
00:27:27,314 --> 00:27:29,283
Are you deaf?

448
00:27:29,316 --> 00:27:31,285
Fucking move!

449
00:27:42,163 --> 00:27:44,031
No, no, no.

450
00:27:44,064 --> 00:27:47,134
No! Wait!

451
00:27:47,168 --> 00:27:48,435
Wait.

452
00:27:48,469 --> 00:27:50,137
Wait! Don't go!

453
00:27:50,171 --> 00:27:52,106
Come back!

454
00:29:07,181 --> 00:29:08,983
Oh, fuck!

455
00:29:33,040 --> 00:29:34,441
Oh, shit.

456
00:29:55,929 --> 00:29:59,800
Damn chickenshit reindeer
leave me here to die.

457
00:30:08,142 --> 00:30:11,312
♪ Violent night ♪

458
00:30:11,345 --> 00:30:14,348
♪ Gory night ♪

459
00:30:14,381 --> 00:30:16,483
♪ All is calm ♪

460
00:30:16,518 --> 00:30:20,954
♪ If all doesn't want to get
shot in the fucking head. ♪

461
00:30:21,556 --> 00:30:23,023
Cute.

462
00:30:23,057 --> 00:30:26,193
Do you have any idea
who you're fucking with?

463
00:30:29,631 --> 00:30:32,333
I know exactly
who I'm fucking with.

464
00:30:32,366 --> 00:30:34,435
Oh, wait, wait.
Did you actually think

465
00:30:34,468 --> 00:30:36,036
that I spent months

466
00:30:36,070 --> 00:30:38,606
planning a complex break-in
to the most secure

467
00:30:38,640 --> 00:30:40,474
private residence in the country

468
00:30:40,508 --> 00:30:42,242
and I didn't know
who lived here?

469
00:30:42,276 --> 00:30:43,545
Well, you're wrong.

470
00:30:43,578 --> 00:30:46,514
'Cause your staff are dead.

471
00:30:46,548 --> 00:30:48,616
Your security are dead.

472
00:30:48,650 --> 00:30:52,119
Now, sit down
and shut the fuck up!

473
00:31:20,214 --> 00:31:22,249
Oh, fuck.

474
00:31:25,119 --> 00:31:26,521
We planned it. It's all right.

475
00:31:26,554 --> 00:31:28,255
It'll be solved
in a couple minutes.

476
00:31:28,288 --> 00:31:29,356
Better be solved.

477
00:31:29,390 --> 00:31:32,159
So much like a scene
from my movie <i>Dark Ransom.</i>

478
00:31:32,192 --> 00:31:33,427
Oh, my God.

479
00:31:34,562 --> 00:31:36,130
If they didn't have guns,

480
00:31:36,163 --> 00:31:38,132
I could take out three,
maybe four of them.

481
00:31:38,165 --> 00:31:40,267
Try all of them.

482
00:31:40,300 --> 00:31:42,936
Ew, Mom. Yuck.

483
00:31:42,970 --> 00:31:44,938
If you'd really done
your research, you'd know

484
00:31:44,972 --> 00:31:47,474
that my brother Rory
was kidnapped in the '70s.

485
00:31:48,409 --> 00:31:51,011
But my father
never called the police.

486
00:31:51,044 --> 00:31:53,414
Dad sent in our own
private extraction team,

487
00:31:53,447 --> 00:31:57,084
and Rory was home
safe and sound a week later.

488
00:31:57,117 --> 00:32:00,655
And the kidnappers
were never found.

489
00:32:00,688 --> 00:32:02,956
If you get me.

490
00:32:04,391 --> 00:32:05,727
I know.

491
00:32:05,760 --> 00:32:08,696
I know all about
your extraction team

492
00:32:08,730 --> 00:32:10,565
that you affectionately call
"the Kill Squad"

493
00:32:10,598 --> 00:32:12,567
behind closed doors.

494
00:32:12,600 --> 00:32:14,334
I also know
that they're on their way

495
00:32:14,368 --> 00:32:16,336
and how long it's gonna
take 'em to get here.

496
00:32:16,370 --> 00:32:19,306
I even know their credit ratings
and their dick sizes.

497
00:32:19,339 --> 00:32:21,041
If you get me.

498
00:32:21,074 --> 00:32:23,310
Then you should also know
you're already dead.

499
00:32:23,343 --> 00:32:25,012
We don't do ransoms.

500
00:32:25,045 --> 00:32:27,549
Again, I know. I know.

501
00:32:27,582 --> 00:32:29,551
See, I know a lot, Gertrude.

502
00:32:29,584 --> 00:32:31,318
I really do.

503
00:32:31,351 --> 00:32:34,388
Like the fact that you have
300 million in U.S. dollars

504
00:32:34,421 --> 00:32:36,658
sitting in your personal vault
downstairs.

505
00:32:36,691 --> 00:32:38,726
-The fuck?
-That's right.

506
00:32:38,760 --> 00:32:41,495
300 million that
the U.S. government

507
00:32:41,529 --> 00:32:45,098
gave Lightstone to quietly
distribute in the Middle East

508
00:32:45,132 --> 00:32:46,601
to all the worst people,

509
00:32:46,634 --> 00:32:51,104
to grease the wheels
and keep that sweet oil flowing.

510
00:32:51,138 --> 00:32:55,409
300 million that-- oops--
disappeared in the fog of war.

511
00:32:55,442 --> 00:32:58,580
Except it didn't really
disappear, did it, Gerty?

512
00:32:58,613 --> 00:33:00,047
'Cause you stole it.

513
00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:01,549
Did you know about this?

514
00:33:01,583 --> 00:33:03,083
Man, this family.

515
00:33:03,116 --> 00:33:06,253
This moneygrubbing family.

516
00:33:06,286 --> 00:33:08,121
Clinging desperately
to your wealth,

517
00:33:08,155 --> 00:33:10,491
when your poor employees
don't even have enough coal

518
00:33:10,525 --> 00:33:12,392
to keep Tiny Tim warm.

519
00:33:12,426 --> 00:33:15,496
What is it with you
and all this Christmas shit?

520
00:33:15,530 --> 00:33:17,498
Talk all you want.

521
00:33:17,532 --> 00:33:19,233
You'll never get in the vault.

522
00:33:19,266 --> 00:33:22,637
Oh, oh, oh, because when
you-you hit the panic button,

523
00:33:22,670 --> 00:33:24,506
it reset the combination?

524
00:33:24,539 --> 00:33:28,141
I keep telling you, I know.

525
00:33:32,747 --> 00:33:35,617
This is what breaking
into a vault has turned into?

526
00:33:35,650 --> 00:33:40,387
Remember when you just had to
drill holes and blow shit up?

527
00:33:40,420 --> 00:33:42,089
I don't know,
maybe I'm getting old,

528
00:33:42,122 --> 00:33:43,525
but there was something
romantic about that.

529
00:33:43,558 --> 00:33:45,727
Boss, you copy?

530
00:33:45,760 --> 00:33:47,662
I'm kind of busy here.

531
00:33:47,695 --> 00:33:50,297
You're gonna want to see this.

532
00:33:59,574 --> 00:34:01,275
Maybe he fell.

533
00:34:01,308 --> 00:34:02,777
You rappel down buildings
with him.

534
00:34:02,810 --> 00:34:05,178
You gonna tell me
he just fell out a window?

535
00:34:05,847 --> 00:34:07,815
All right, look lively, gang.

536
00:34:07,849 --> 00:34:09,651
We got a gopher.

537
00:34:25,198 --> 00:34:26,568
You know what?

538
00:34:26,601 --> 00:34:30,705
Um, I think Mr. Bunny
wants to go to sleep.

539
00:34:30,738 --> 00:34:32,707
So, let's tuck him in.

540
00:34:32,740 --> 00:34:34,441
Okay?

541
00:34:35,543 --> 00:34:37,344
It's gonna be okay.

542
00:34:51,425 --> 00:34:53,661
Hello? Santa?

543
00:34:53,695 --> 00:34:55,663
Are you there?

544
00:35:01,536 --> 00:35:03,337
Shit.

545
00:35:07,407 --> 00:35:09,911
This is
Candy Cane at checkpoint three.

546
00:35:09,944 --> 00:35:11,679
Oh, shit.

547
00:35:11,713 --> 00:35:13,514
Shit. Shit. Shit.

548
00:35:16,651 --> 00:35:18,620
Video game.

549
00:35:19,754 --> 00:35:21,188
Video game.

550
00:35:21,221 --> 00:35:23,357
Didn't anybody ask
for a bat or a sword

551
00:35:23,390 --> 00:35:26,493
or Molotov cocktails?

552
00:35:34,869 --> 00:35:36,671
Wait.

553
00:35:51,451 --> 00:35:53,320
Mommy, I love you.

554
00:35:54,656 --> 00:35:56,658
Poetry book.

555
00:35:56,691 --> 00:35:58,860
<i>Die Hard</i> on Blu-ray. Fuck!

556
00:36:00,561 --> 00:36:04,398
-♪ Mamacita ♪
-♪ <i>Mamacita, ah-ooh</i> ♪

557
00:36:04,431 --> 00:36:06,901
-♪ ¿Dónde está Santa Claus? ♪
-♪ <i>Mamacita</i> ♪

558
00:36:06,934 --> 00:36:08,836
♪ <i>Ah-ooh</i> ♪

559
00:36:08,870 --> 00:36:11,673
-♪ ¿Dónde está Santa Claus? ♪
-♪ <i>Mamacita, ah-ooh...</i> ♪

560
00:36:13,240 --> 00:36:14,976
Safety's on, dipshit.

561
00:36:16,678 --> 00:36:19,947
-♪ Mamacita
-♪ <i>Mamacita, ah-ooh</i> ♪

562
00:36:19,981 --> 00:36:22,617
♪ Oh, where is Santa Claus? ♪

563
00:36:22,650 --> 00:36:23,951
♪ <i>Mamacita, ah-ooh</i> ♪

564
00:36:23,985 --> 00:36:25,820
♪ I look for him because ♪

565
00:36:25,853 --> 00:36:27,789
Wait. Hang on. Hang on.

566
00:36:27,822 --> 00:36:29,289
♪ It's Christmas Eve... ♪

567
00:36:29,322 --> 00:36:31,726
Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait. Look.

568
00:36:31,759 --> 00:36:33,427
I don't want to kill you.

569
00:36:37,297 --> 00:36:40,902
Wow, a big fat guy, gray beard.

570
00:36:40,935 --> 00:36:43,203
Eh?

571
00:36:43,638 --> 00:36:45,606
Santa...

572
00:36:45,640 --> 00:36:47,675
I'm gonna rip
your fucking balls off.

573
00:36:52,279 --> 00:36:54,949
♪ I hope he won't forget
to crack his castanets ♪

574
00:36:54,982 --> 00:36:58,519
♪ And to his reindeer say ♪

575
00:36:58,553 --> 00:37:01,022
♪ "Oh, Pancho, oh, Vixen,
oh, Pedro, oh, Blitzen..." ♪

576
00:37:01,055 --> 00:37:02,990
Oh, shit.

577
00:37:06,359 --> 00:37:08,863
-♪ Mamacita ♪
-♪ <i>Mamacita, ah-ooh</i> ♪

578
00:37:08,896 --> 00:37:10,998
♪ ¿Dónde está Santa Claus? ♪

579
00:37:12,900 --> 00:37:15,737
♪ Oh, where is Santa Claus? ♪

580
00:37:15,770 --> 00:37:17,404
♪ <i>Mamacita, ah-ooh</i> ♪

581
00:37:17,437 --> 00:37:19,040
♪ It's Christmas Eve ♪

582
00:37:19,073 --> 00:37:20,975
♪ <i>Christmas Eve</i> ♪

583
00:37:30,518 --> 00:37:31,953
♪ I hope he won't forget ♪

584
00:37:31,986 --> 00:37:33,621
♪ To crack his castanets ♪

585
00:37:33,654 --> 00:37:37,558
♪ And to his reindeer say ♪

586
00:37:37,592 --> 00:37:41,662
♪ "Oh, Pancho, oh, Vixen,
oh, Pedro, oh, Blitzen ♪

587
00:37:41,696 --> 00:37:45,432
♪ Olé, olé, olé" ♪

588
00:37:45,465 --> 00:37:48,435
-♪ Mamacita ♪
-♪ <i>Mamacita, ah-ooh</i> ♪

589
00:37:48,468 --> 00:37:50,905
♪ ¿Dónde está Santa Claus? ♪

590
00:37:50,938 --> 00:37:52,039
♪ <i>Mamacita, ah-ooh</i> ♪

591
00:37:52,073 --> 00:37:54,008
♪ Oh, where is Santa Claus? ♪

592
00:37:54,041 --> 00:37:55,743
♪ <i>Mamacita, ah-ooh</i> ♪

593
00:37:55,777 --> 00:37:59,412
-♪ It's Christmas Eve ♪
-♪ <i>Christmas Eve</i> ♪

594
00:37:59,446 --> 00:38:02,382
♪ It's Christmas Eve ♪

595
00:38:02,415 --> 00:38:04,317
♪ <i>Mamacita</i> ♪

596
00:38:04,351 --> 00:38:06,319
-♪ It's Christmas Eve ♪
-♪ <i>Mamacita.</i> ♪

597
00:38:47,895 --> 00:38:50,097
Ah, God.

598
00:38:50,131 --> 00:38:51,933
Whew.

599
00:38:52,967 --> 00:38:55,870
Whew. Whew.

600
00:38:55,903 --> 00:38:57,972
This is Candy Cane checking in.

601
00:38:58,005 --> 00:38:59,707
Compound is clear and secured.

602
00:39:01,876 --> 00:39:03,911
Copy. What's the
status on the Kill Squad?

603
00:39:05,646 --> 00:39:07,582
Kill Squad
won't be here for two hours.

604
00:39:07,615 --> 00:39:10,117
So we're doing good. The outer
seal's already been breached.

605
00:39:10,151 --> 00:39:12,854
Is there a 911 thing on here?

606
00:39:12,887 --> 00:39:15,422
My...

607
00:39:15,455 --> 00:39:17,592
Am I doing that correct?

608
00:39:17,625 --> 00:39:18,860
Hello?

609
00:39:18,893 --> 00:39:20,628
Hello, can anybody hear me?

610
00:39:20,661 --> 00:39:23,097
Can you hear me, Santa?

611
00:39:25,032 --> 00:39:26,567
Hello?

612
00:39:26,601 --> 00:39:27,902
Santa?

613
00:39:31,005 --> 00:39:32,840
Yeah, this is Santa.

614
00:39:35,643 --> 00:39:38,378
I hope I'm not bothering you.

615
00:39:39,680 --> 00:39:42,583
Daddy said you were
very busy tonight.

616
00:39:44,185 --> 00:39:46,053
I'm...

617
00:39:46,087 --> 00:39:48,455
I'm on a break.

618
00:39:48,488 --> 00:39:50,658
Who-who am I speaking to?

619
00:39:52,994 --> 00:39:54,829
My name is Trudy Lightstone,

620
00:39:54,862 --> 00:39:58,431
and I've been very good
this year.

621
00:39:58,465 --> 00:40:00,167
Trudy...

622
00:40:02,570 --> 00:40:04,672
Trudy Lightstone.

623
00:40:13,547 --> 00:40:15,850
Yeah, Trudy.

624
00:40:15,883 --> 00:40:18,119
You're on my nice list.

625
00:40:18,152 --> 00:40:20,655
You've been a very good girl
this year.

626
00:40:22,089 --> 00:40:24,457
Where are you now, Trudy?

627
00:40:25,626 --> 00:40:28,461
I'm in a big room
with all my relatives.

628
00:40:28,495 --> 00:40:31,832
There's two bad men with guns
watching us.

629
00:40:34,268 --> 00:40:36,203
Oh, no. Six left.

630
00:40:36,237 --> 00:40:38,539
Are you gonna help us, Santa?

631
00:40:39,640 --> 00:40:41,575
Yeah. Of course
I'm gonna help you.

632
00:40:41,609 --> 00:40:44,545
I'm gonna...
I'm gonna get you out of there.

633
00:40:44,578 --> 00:40:47,882
Take all these bad guys
on my naughty list...

634
00:40:48,749 --> 00:40:51,118
I'm gonna take a lump of coal,

635
00:40:51,152 --> 00:40:55,089
each and every one of them,
and shove it straight up...

636
00:40:55,122 --> 00:40:56,590
The ass.

637
00:40:59,260 --> 00:41:00,861
Well, I mean, come on, sweetie.

638
00:41:00,895 --> 00:41:03,864
We want to keep you
on the nice list, you know.

639
00:41:05,199 --> 00:41:07,802
Sorry.
Can I say "butthole," then?

640
00:41:08,636 --> 00:41:10,004
I mean, it's borderline.

641
00:41:10,037 --> 00:41:11,706
How about "anus"?

642
00:41:11,739 --> 00:41:16,110
Technically, yes,
uh, "anus" is the tech...

643
00:41:16,143 --> 00:41:17,812
Okay, look, uh, Tru...
uh, Trudy.

644
00:41:17,845 --> 00:41:20,614
I got to call for help,
and the phone lines are down.

645
00:41:20,648 --> 00:41:23,184
You probably know this house
better than anybody.

646
00:41:23,217 --> 00:41:25,086
You got any suggestions?

647
00:41:25,119 --> 00:41:26,854
I have an idea.

648
00:41:29,056 --> 00:41:31,659
All right, you're telling me
there's a goddamn Santa Claus

649
00:41:31,692 --> 00:41:33,661
running around here?

650
00:41:36,797 --> 00:41:38,933
Okay, well,
he looks jolly as fuck,

651
00:41:38,966 --> 00:41:40,601
but who the hell is he?

652
00:41:40,634 --> 00:41:42,570
There's no Santa listed
on the employee manifest.

653
00:41:42,603 --> 00:41:43,871
Yeah, there's more.

654
00:41:43,904 --> 00:41:45,606
Frosty hasn't checked in.
I can't reach him.

655
00:41:45,639 --> 00:41:47,742
All right, keep trying.

656
00:41:50,177 --> 00:41:51,746
All right, it's official.

657
00:41:51,779 --> 00:41:53,881
We got a gopher on the loose,
and he's dangerous.

658
00:41:53,914 --> 00:41:55,016
Watch your backs.

659
00:42:00,054 --> 00:42:02,857
Al? Al?

660
00:42:08,996 --> 00:42:10,931
Oh, shit.

661
00:42:18,806 --> 00:42:20,174
Oh, shit!

662
00:42:20,207 --> 00:42:23,677
Frosty, what's your status?

663
00:42:27,048 --> 00:42:29,083
Frosty, sound off.

664
00:42:30,084 --> 00:42:32,987
Uh, Frosty?

665
00:42:34,221 --> 00:42:35,756
Is-is that, uh...

666
00:42:35,790 --> 00:42:37,691
is that the naughty guy
I met in the basement?

667
00:42:37,725 --> 00:42:39,226
Your-your friend is dead.

668
00:42:39,260 --> 00:42:42,663
Uh, he got a star in his face,
then his head caught on fire.

669
00:42:42,696 --> 00:42:44,732
It's a long story.

670
00:42:44,765 --> 00:42:47,301
Oh.

671
00:42:47,334 --> 00:42:49,603
Is this... is this our Santy?

672
00:42:49,637 --> 00:42:52,339
Is this our... our Santy Claus?

673
00:42:52,373 --> 00:42:54,041
Yeah, it is.

674
00:42:55,009 --> 00:42:56,744
To whom am I speaking?

675
00:42:56,777 --> 00:42:58,779
Well, for tonight,
I'm Mr. Scrooge.

676
00:42:58,813 --> 00:43:02,683
Now, what is it
that you want exactly, Santa?

677
00:43:02,716 --> 00:43:05,219
I want you to put down
your weapons,

678
00:43:05,252 --> 00:43:08,222
I want you to let
this family go,

679
00:43:08,255 --> 00:43:09,990
and then I want to find
my reindeer,

680
00:43:10,024 --> 00:43:12,626
and I want to continue
delivering my presents.

681
00:43:15,229 --> 00:43:16,797
Are you fucking with me?

682
00:43:16,831 --> 00:43:19,033
All right, who the hell
are you really, huh?

683
00:43:19,066 --> 00:43:21,735
Some security guard who's
watched too many action flicks?

684
00:43:21,769 --> 00:43:24,105
Some loser ex-cop
stuck in a mall

685
00:43:24,138 --> 00:43:26,307
playing dress-up with fat kids
pissing on your lap?

686
00:43:26,340 --> 00:43:27,875
Stop me when I get it right.

687
00:43:27,908 --> 00:43:30,111
It's a little more complicated
than that.

688
00:43:30,144 --> 00:43:31,779
Not to me, it's not.

689
00:43:31,812 --> 00:43:33,814
'Cause I want to make it
my personal mission,

690
00:43:33,848 --> 00:43:38,052
my holiday to-do list,
to find you and to end you

691
00:43:38,085 --> 00:43:41,789
and to wipe my ass with you
and this whole fucking holiday.

692
00:43:41,822 --> 00:43:44,391
That's what I want
for Christmas, Santa.

693
00:43:44,425 --> 00:43:48,729
That is a terrible thing
to want for Christmas.

694
00:43:48,762 --> 00:43:52,199
But maybe you and I should
discuss that in person.

695
00:43:53,434 --> 00:43:56,170
Santa Claus is coming to town.

696
00:44:07,448 --> 00:44:09,049
Shit.

697
00:44:18,926 --> 00:44:20,161
All right, who did you hire

698
00:44:20,194 --> 00:44:22,863
to play Santa at
your Christmas party, huh?

699
00:44:22,897 --> 00:44:24,899
I said, who's playing Santa

700
00:44:24,932 --> 00:44:26,433
at your fucked-up
Christmas party?

701
00:44:26,467 --> 00:44:29,370
I didn't hire a Santa.

702
00:44:29,403 --> 00:44:32,206
I never have a Santa.
It's tacky.

703
00:44:32,239 --> 00:44:33,440
So, who is he?

704
00:44:33,474 --> 00:44:36,343
♪ Oh, what fun
it is to ride... ♪

705
00:44:36,377 --> 00:44:39,246
Huh? Who is he?

706
00:44:39,280 --> 00:44:40,915
Somebody better start talking,

707
00:44:40,948 --> 00:44:43,951
or I'm gonna bash
her brains in with this...

708
00:44:43,984 --> 00:44:48,689
Damn, Gertrude. You really got
a thing for nutcrackers, huh?

709
00:44:49,823 --> 00:44:53,827
So, I'm gonna torture
everyone in your family

710
00:44:53,861 --> 00:44:56,764
until you tell me who's
running around your mansion

711
00:44:56,797 --> 00:44:59,333
playing Santa
and fucking with my shit.

712
00:44:59,366 --> 00:45:01,335
And who should I pick first?

713
00:45:01,368 --> 00:45:02,870
Should I go by age?

714
00:45:02,903 --> 00:45:04,438
Shh.

715
00:45:04,471 --> 00:45:06,140
Or should I go by IQ?

716
00:45:06,173 --> 00:45:09,743
Pick Jason.
He's my mom's favorite.

717
00:45:09,777 --> 00:45:11,745
-Yep. Him.
-The one in the sweater.

718
00:45:11,779 --> 00:45:14,215
All right.
Jason Lightstone it is.

719
00:45:14,248 --> 00:45:15,416
-The number one son.
-No.

720
00:45:15,449 --> 00:45:16,884
Wait, wait, wait.
No, we don't need...

721
00:45:16,917 --> 00:45:18,219
We don't need to do that.
No, it's okay.

722
00:45:18,252 --> 00:45:20,354
No. No, no, no.
We don't need to do this.

723
00:45:20,387 --> 00:45:21,523
No. No, no, no, no.

724
00:45:21,556 --> 00:45:23,123
Don't, don't, don't.

725
00:45:23,157 --> 00:45:25,492
No, don't... Put it...
Don't... No.

726
00:45:25,527 --> 00:45:27,494
-No, no, no, no. No, no.
-Give me this fucking...

727
00:45:36,538 --> 00:45:39,273
I'm telling you,
no one hired a Santa.

728
00:45:39,306 --> 00:45:40,975
All right, all right,
all right. You're right.

729
00:45:41,008 --> 00:45:42,042
You're right.
Let's stop it. Let's stop it.

730
00:45:42,076 --> 00:45:44,144
What are we doing here? Come on.

731
00:45:44,178 --> 00:45:47,181
What are we, amateurs?
We're half-assing this.

732
00:45:47,214 --> 00:45:50,351
Come on. It's not called
a finger cracker.

733
00:45:51,519 --> 00:45:53,420
Okay, Candy Cane.

734
00:45:53,454 --> 00:45:54,922
Stick one of his bozaks
in there.

735
00:45:54,955 --> 00:45:56,123
I'm not touching his balls.

736
00:45:56,156 --> 00:45:57,858
What, are you a princess
all of a sudden?

737
00:45:57,891 --> 00:45:59,527
I've seen you
scoop out brains before.

738
00:45:59,561 --> 00:46:00,928
You want me
to scoop his brains out,

739
00:46:00,961 --> 00:46:02,396
I'll scoop his brains out
right now,

740
00:46:02,429 --> 00:46:03,531
but I'm not touching his junk.

741
00:46:03,565 --> 00:46:05,032
I don't care who does it.

742
00:46:05,065 --> 00:46:06,534
I better be looking
at flat balls,

743
00:46:06,568 --> 00:46:08,068
like, in three seconds.

744
00:46:08,102 --> 00:46:10,404
I'll do it.

745
00:46:10,437 --> 00:46:11,839
Krampus. Perfect.

746
00:46:11,872 --> 00:46:13,140
Oh, not that guy. Not that guy.

747
00:46:13,173 --> 00:46:14,542
That's what I love
about sociopaths.

748
00:46:14,576 --> 00:46:15,943
Always up for trying new things.

749
00:46:15,976 --> 00:46:17,211
You don't need to do this, okay?

750
00:46:17,244 --> 00:46:19,179
No, it's all right.
Um... Oh, no.

751
00:46:19,213 --> 00:46:21,815
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

752
00:46:21,849 --> 00:46:24,251
Oh, God. Oh, my God.

753
00:46:25,919 --> 00:46:27,354
Put your nuts in.

754
00:46:27,388 --> 00:46:28,889
Yummy, yummy.

755
00:46:28,922 --> 00:46:31,492
Stop hurting my daddy...

756
00:46:31,526 --> 00:46:34,061
or Santa will get mad.

757
00:46:34,928 --> 00:46:37,064
Ah, what a cutie.

758
00:46:37,097 --> 00:46:39,099
So, what do we know
about Santa, little one?

759
00:46:39,133 --> 00:46:41,068
She doesn't know anything
about Santa.

760
00:46:41,969 --> 00:46:43,538
He wasn't asking you.

761
00:46:43,571 --> 00:46:46,106
She's playing make-believe.

762
00:46:46,140 --> 00:46:48,442
She's pretending
to talk to Santa.

763
00:46:48,475 --> 00:46:50,444
It's not pretend.
Santa's my friend,

764
00:46:50,477 --> 00:46:52,212
and he said
he's going to save us.

765
00:46:52,246 --> 00:46:53,447
No.

766
00:46:53,480 --> 00:46:55,482
-And beat you up.
-Oh, is he?

767
00:46:55,517 --> 00:46:58,319
I bet he'd come out of hiding
if you asked him to, huh?

768
00:46:58,352 --> 00:46:59,953
What do you say you come with me

769
00:46:59,987 --> 00:47:01,989
-and we play a little game
with him, huh? -No, no, no.

770
00:47:02,022 --> 00:47:03,324
Trudy, come on.
Tell him the truth now.

771
00:47:03,357 --> 00:47:05,192
-You aren't talking to Santa.
-Yes, I am.

772
00:47:05,225 --> 00:47:06,594
No, you're not. Come on, now.

773
00:47:06,628 --> 00:47:09,296
-Yes, I am. -Damn it, Trudy,
Santa isn't real!

774
00:47:17,539 --> 00:47:19,373
I'm sorry, honey.

775
00:47:20,307 --> 00:47:22,476
Santa's just a thing
adults tell kids

776
00:47:22,510 --> 00:47:24,878
to make them feel better, okay?

777
00:47:26,648 --> 00:47:28,916
Your mommy and I
give you the presents,

778
00:47:28,949 --> 00:47:30,951
and we say they're from Santa.

779
00:47:32,119 --> 00:47:33,521
He's not coming to save us.

780
00:47:33,555 --> 00:47:35,923
He doesn't exist.

781
00:47:35,956 --> 00:47:38,292
It's all made-up.

782
00:47:39,694 --> 00:47:41,663
-Really?
-Aw.

783
00:47:41,696 --> 00:47:44,365
What a way to find out
that there's no Santa.

784
00:47:44,398 --> 00:47:46,568
Hey, let's come back Easter
and ruin the Easter Bunny

785
00:47:46,601 --> 00:47:48,536
for her, too, huh?

786
00:47:48,570 --> 00:47:50,104
-Trudy!
-Come back here!

787
00:47:50,137 --> 00:47:51,438
-Stop her!
-Trudy! -Hey!

788
00:47:51,472 --> 00:47:53,240
You idiots, stay at your posts.

789
00:47:53,273 --> 00:47:54,408
Trudy!

790
00:47:54,441 --> 00:47:56,944
I'll find this little brat.

791
00:49:03,210 --> 00:49:04,378
Okay.

792
00:49:33,040 --> 00:49:36,009
Santa. Santa.

793
00:49:36,043 --> 00:49:37,745
Santa!

794
00:49:39,480 --> 00:49:41,381
This is Trudy.

795
00:49:42,316 --> 00:49:45,385
Are you okay, Santa?

796
00:49:47,454 --> 00:49:48,723
Hi. Hey.

797
00:49:48,756 --> 00:49:50,625
Are you okay?

798
00:49:50,658 --> 00:49:52,627
I'm good. Uh...

799
00:49:52,660 --> 00:49:55,028
I was just wrapping
something up.

800
00:49:55,062 --> 00:49:57,164
I ran away and hid in the attic.

801
00:49:57,197 --> 00:50:00,367
Okay. If you're safe...

802
00:50:00,400 --> 00:50:03,370
uh, just stay there
and, uh, stay quiet, all right?

803
00:50:03,403 --> 00:50:08,242
Okay. I can set up booby traps,
like in <i>Home Alone.</i>

804
00:50:08,275 --> 00:50:09,777
Okay, I don't know
what that means,

805
00:50:09,811 --> 00:50:11,513
but, uh, yeah, do that.

806
00:50:11,546 --> 00:50:13,515
Just do it quietly.

807
00:50:14,782 --> 00:50:16,751
Are you really Santa?

808
00:50:20,655 --> 00:50:23,056
Of course I am, sweetheart.

809
00:50:23,791 --> 00:50:26,493
My daddy says
there isn't any Santa.

810
00:50:28,161 --> 00:50:31,164
He says parents just tell
their kids that Santa's real

811
00:50:31,198 --> 00:50:32,700
to make them feel better.

812
00:50:32,734 --> 00:50:35,637
He said they give us presents

813
00:50:35,670 --> 00:50:38,238
and say they're from Santa.

814
00:50:38,272 --> 00:50:40,173
Yeah.

815
00:50:40,207 --> 00:50:42,342
Yeah, a lot of parents say that.

816
00:50:42,376 --> 00:50:46,446
But I still bring presents
to kids that need me.

817
00:50:47,682 --> 00:50:50,117
Kids who really believe.

818
00:50:51,285 --> 00:50:54,354
How do you know
who really needs you?

819
00:50:54,388 --> 00:50:56,356
Christmas magic.

820
00:50:56,390 --> 00:50:58,626
I'm not really sure
how it works.

821
00:51:06,466 --> 00:51:08,703
But, uh...

822
00:51:10,872 --> 00:51:14,107
I remember, um...

823
00:51:14,141 --> 00:51:15,843
when Trudy Lightstone
wrote to me.

824
00:51:15,877 --> 00:51:18,378
She must have been
about six years old,

825
00:51:18,412 --> 00:51:22,249
and she said that
she felt lonely sometimes.

826
00:51:22,282 --> 00:51:24,586
She missed having a best friend.

827
00:51:24,619 --> 00:51:25,853
And so I brought her

828
00:51:25,887 --> 00:51:27,755
a beautiful little
stuffed rabbit.

829
00:51:27,789 --> 00:51:29,256
Mr. Bunny.

830
00:51:29,289 --> 00:51:31,258
And then I remember
the next year,

831
00:51:31,291 --> 00:51:33,327
and you said you had
this amazing dream

832
00:51:33,360 --> 00:51:37,364
and that, afterwards,
all you wanted to do was...

833
00:51:37,397 --> 00:51:38,733
To fly!

834
00:51:38,766 --> 00:51:41,168
To fly. To fly.

835
00:51:42,369 --> 00:51:46,708
I mean, Santa might have
some magic, but...

836
00:51:46,741 --> 00:51:50,511
making a little girl fly?

837
00:51:52,647 --> 00:51:56,818
But giving you a kite,

838
00:51:56,851 --> 00:52:00,253
floating just beneath
the clouds,

839
00:52:00,287 --> 00:52:02,890
well, it's about
as good as it gets.

840
00:52:02,924 --> 00:52:04,826
I knew it.

841
00:52:04,859 --> 00:52:07,361
I knew you were real, Santa.

842
00:52:09,931 --> 00:52:13,133
Don't be too hard
on your parents, all right?

843
00:52:14,702 --> 00:52:17,605
Grown-ups have a hard time
believing things.

844
00:52:18,438 --> 00:52:20,808
Can you use your Christmas magic

845
00:52:20,842 --> 00:52:23,176
to make them
love each other again?

846
00:52:23,210 --> 00:52:25,546
I wish I had that kind of power.

847
00:52:26,514 --> 00:52:30,183
Mrs. Claus and I have been
going on year, uh,

848
00:52:30,217 --> 00:52:32,486
1,100, and...

849
00:52:33,420 --> 00:52:36,256
Grown-up relationships
are complicated.

850
00:52:36,924 --> 00:52:39,259
It takes work.

851
00:52:39,292 --> 00:52:41,395
A lot of work.

852
00:52:43,631 --> 00:52:45,767
Do you still love her?

853
00:52:45,800 --> 00:52:47,669
Yeah, I do.

854
00:52:48,736 --> 00:52:52,305
And sometimes, even if you want
to make somebody happy...

855
00:52:53,440 --> 00:52:55,710
...the magic just goes away.

856
00:52:57,745 --> 00:52:59,947
Hey.

857
00:52:59,981 --> 00:53:01,816
I've got an idea.

858
00:53:01,849 --> 00:53:03,551
This will be fun.

859
00:53:04,585 --> 00:53:07,722
Why don't you guys
open your presents?

860
00:53:07,755 --> 00:53:12,325
I want to see what you
rich assholes get each other.

861
00:53:12,359 --> 00:53:17,965
And some of you might not
make it till tomorrow morning,

862
00:53:17,999 --> 00:53:21,201
so this could be
your only chance.

863
00:53:21,869 --> 00:53:23,370
Come on.

864
00:53:23,403 --> 00:53:26,239
Where's the Christmas spirit?

865
00:53:27,675 --> 00:53:29,711
Uh...

866
00:53:30,745 --> 00:53:34,916
Gertrude, uh, I got you
something pretty special.

867
00:53:34,949 --> 00:53:36,383
Did you hear that, Gertrude?

868
00:53:36,416 --> 00:53:38,351
He got you something amazing.

869
00:53:38,385 --> 00:53:41,354
Oh, what could it be?

870
00:53:41,388 --> 00:53:43,658
Oh, my God, this is exciting.

871
00:53:43,691 --> 00:53:45,827
Mom.

872
00:53:45,860 --> 00:53:47,628
Can I call you Mom?

873
00:53:48,763 --> 00:53:50,497
Mrs. Lightstone.

874
00:53:52,332 --> 00:53:55,670
Okay, so in the business,
they call this...

875
00:53:56,671 --> 00:53:58,238
...a pitch deck.

876
00:53:58,940 --> 00:54:00,007
-Pitch deck.
-Yeah.

877
00:54:00,041 --> 00:54:01,843
It's called <i>Explosive Force.</i>

878
00:54:01,876 --> 00:54:03,477
Starring me.

879
00:54:03,511 --> 00:54:05,046
And if you look in the back,

880
00:54:05,079 --> 00:54:08,783
there are the financial numbers.

881
00:54:08,816 --> 00:54:12,319
I'm kind of a big deal in Asia.

882
00:54:13,521 --> 00:54:15,623
Parts of Asia, at least.

883
00:54:15,656 --> 00:54:17,658
We were in parts of Asia once,
and, like,

884
00:54:17,692 --> 00:54:19,459
we couldn't even go
to a restaurant.

885
00:54:19,493 --> 00:54:22,897
Ah, what is there
a better gift than...

886
00:54:22,930 --> 00:54:26,399
gift of a golden opportunity?

887
00:54:27,668 --> 00:54:29,837
Oh, no.

888
00:54:31,038 --> 00:54:33,574
Granny doesn't like it.

889
00:54:33,608 --> 00:54:36,343
Mother, I got you something
really special.

890
00:54:42,517 --> 00:54:45,019
It's a sentimental photo
of the day I was born.

891
00:54:45,052 --> 00:54:47,088
I remember.

892
00:54:47,121 --> 00:54:48,556
I was there.

893
00:54:48,589 --> 00:54:50,758
She doesn't give a shit.

894
00:54:53,393 --> 00:54:54,896
Swing and miss again!

895
00:54:54,929 --> 00:54:56,363
This is so fun.

896
00:54:56,396 --> 00:54:57,532
Mommy, how about another one?

897
00:54:57,565 --> 00:54:59,066
I got you a lot of good things.

898
00:54:59,100 --> 00:55:01,102
-I'll grab one.
-Alva, Alva, sit down.

899
00:55:01,135 --> 00:55:02,937
You've already given me one.
It's...

900
00:55:02,970 --> 00:55:04,105
It's Jason's turn.

901
00:55:04,138 --> 00:55:05,673
Uh...

902
00:55:05,706 --> 00:55:09,409
I th... I-I think
I left it in the car.

903
00:55:09,442 --> 00:55:11,411
No, I-I saw you put one
under the tree earlier.

904
00:55:11,444 --> 00:55:13,714
-No. It's in the...
-Yeah, I did.

905
00:55:13,748 --> 00:55:16,818
I could've sworn.
You know what, it's, uh...

906
00:55:16,851 --> 00:55:18,853
Y-You don't... you don't...
you don't... you...

907
00:55:18,886 --> 00:55:21,589
It's this one, right?
Yeah, I got you, bro.

908
00:55:21,622 --> 00:55:22,957
Come on.

909
00:55:24,759 --> 00:55:26,828
Thank you.

910
00:55:27,862 --> 00:55:29,964
It's my favorite whiskey.

911
00:55:29,997 --> 00:55:32,767
You can skip the note.

912
00:55:56,057 --> 00:55:57,859
Thank you, Jason.

913
00:56:03,197 --> 00:56:05,600
What's the card say?

914
00:56:05,633 --> 00:56:08,502
I think I'll just keep that
between Jason and I.

915
00:56:08,536 --> 00:56:12,673
No one really needs to know.
Right, Jason?

916
00:56:15,042 --> 00:56:16,811
Right.

917
00:56:17,845 --> 00:56:20,047
<i>Did you ever have</i>
<i>a mommy and daddy?</i>

918
00:56:21,916 --> 00:56:23,885
Yeah, of course
I had a mommy and daddy.

919
00:56:23,918 --> 00:56:27,688
I wasn't...
I wasn't always Santa Claus.

920
00:56:28,556 --> 00:56:30,791
I had a life before this.

921
00:56:31,726 --> 00:56:34,528
A long, long, long time ago.

922
00:56:38,666 --> 00:56:41,736
They used to call me, uh...

923
00:56:41,769 --> 00:56:43,804
Nicomund.

924
00:56:47,474 --> 00:56:48,976
<i>Nicomund the Red.</i>

925
00:56:50,645 --> 00:56:53,214
<i>You had a different job then?</i>

926
00:56:53,247 --> 00:56:56,050
<i>Yeah, you could say that.</i>

927
00:56:56,083 --> 00:56:57,919
<i>I was a warrior.</i>

928
00:56:57,952 --> 00:56:59,987
<i>A raider. A thief.</i>

929
00:57:00,021 --> 00:57:03,991
<i>And if somebody got in my way,</i>

930
00:57:04,025 --> 00:57:05,626
<i>me and Skullcrusher would...</i>

931
00:57:05,660 --> 00:57:07,427
<i>Who's Skullcrusher?</i>

932
00:57:08,095 --> 00:57:11,132
Skullcrusher's my, uh...

933
00:57:11,165 --> 00:57:13,935
my hammer.

934
00:57:13,968 --> 00:57:16,170
My favorite hammer.

935
00:57:16,203 --> 00:57:18,606
I was a surgeon with that thing.

936
00:57:18,639 --> 00:57:20,975
Used to be able to take
three heads, line 'em up...

937
00:57:22,710 --> 00:57:25,112
But why?

938
00:57:25,146 --> 00:57:26,681
What?

939
00:57:26,714 --> 00:57:29,449
Why'd you do those things?

940
00:57:31,185 --> 00:57:33,486
Because I was mean.

941
00:57:34,622 --> 00:57:36,724
And I was greedy.

942
00:57:38,592 --> 00:57:41,562
And I wanted gold, jewels.

943
00:57:41,595 --> 00:57:43,965
Yeah, I mean, if there was
a naughty list back then,

944
00:57:43,998 --> 00:57:46,000
I'd be top dog.

945
00:57:47,802 --> 00:57:49,770
Well, maybe...

946
00:57:50,738 --> 00:57:51,672
What?

947
00:57:51,706 --> 00:57:54,041
Maybe all those bad things
you used to do...

948
00:57:55,142 --> 00:57:58,546
...maybe you can use them
to do good things instead.

949
00:57:59,180 --> 00:58:01,582
To help.

950
00:58:01,615 --> 00:58:03,517
What do you mean?

951
00:58:03,551 --> 00:58:07,788
Mr. Bunny, he wasn't just a toy.

952
00:58:07,822 --> 00:58:11,158
That night, you gave me
what I wished for.

953
00:58:11,192 --> 00:58:13,094
A best friend.

954
00:58:14,128 --> 00:58:16,764
'Cause you're good and kind.

955
00:58:16,797 --> 00:58:20,234
And you mean more than just
the presents you bring.

956
00:58:20,267 --> 00:58:23,004
That's why I believe in you,
Santa.

957
00:58:23,037 --> 00:58:25,573
That's why I believe.

958
00:58:31,012 --> 00:58:32,780
Thank you.

959
00:58:34,615 --> 00:58:38,552
You stay hidden, Trudy,
till I come get you.

960
00:58:38,586 --> 00:58:40,654
Stay safe.

961
00:58:41,756 --> 00:58:44,225
All right,
we got satellite confirmation.

962
00:58:44,258 --> 00:58:46,327
Extraction team's on the go.

963
00:58:46,360 --> 00:58:48,896
30 minutes.

964
00:58:48,929 --> 00:58:50,264
We're on schedule.

965
00:58:50,297 --> 00:58:51,799
Everything's good.

966
00:58:51,832 --> 00:58:53,300
All right, fellas.

967
00:58:53,334 --> 00:58:54,969
Look alive, look alive.

968
00:58:55,002 --> 00:58:56,771
You all know the plan,

969
00:58:56,804 --> 00:59:00,207
and I like my operations
like I like to fuck:

970
00:59:00,241 --> 00:59:02,877
hard and fast
with minimal cleanup.

971
00:59:02,910 --> 00:59:07,314
Now, some idiot gets
in your way, what do you do?

972
00:59:07,348 --> 00:59:09,583
Fuck their shit up right!

973
00:59:09,617 --> 00:59:11,152
Damn right.

974
00:59:12,019 --> 00:59:14,789
Time to lube up.

975
00:59:15,890 --> 00:59:18,659
Let's go, motherfuckers!
Let's go!

976
00:59:24,365 --> 00:59:26,801
This fucking family.

977
00:59:45,986 --> 00:59:48,189
Ho, ho, ho, ho.

978
00:59:48,222 --> 00:59:50,024
Merry Christmas.

979
00:59:50,057 --> 00:59:51,225
Happy holidays.

980
00:59:51,258 --> 00:59:52,326
Traitor.

981
00:59:53,928 --> 00:59:55,896
I got him in the east wing.

982
00:59:55,930 --> 00:59:58,232
All right,
we're on our way. Hold him.

983
01:00:11,745 --> 01:00:13,747
Step aside.

984
01:00:27,161 --> 01:00:29,930
Now, how did this tired, old,

985
01:00:29,964 --> 01:00:32,666
fat piece of shit
get the drop on us?

986
01:00:32,700 --> 01:00:34,034
I don't know.

987
01:00:34,068 --> 01:00:36,036
He's not even armed.

988
01:00:36,070 --> 01:00:38,405
This bag is the only thing
he had on him.

989
01:00:38,439 --> 01:00:39,974
What's in there?

990
01:00:40,774 --> 01:00:42,810
Can't see anything.

991
01:00:46,847 --> 01:00:48,249
Here, give it to me.

992
01:00:59,326 --> 01:01:01,896
What kind of moron...

993
01:01:01,929 --> 01:01:04,131
carries a chess set with him?

994
01:01:08,002 --> 01:01:09,003
What the fuck?

995
01:01:09,036 --> 01:01:11,839
Doesn't make any sense.
Look at all this shit.

996
01:01:19,046 --> 01:01:22,049
So, you're gonna tell us what's
the gimmick with the bag?

997
01:01:22,082 --> 01:01:23,751
It's magic.

998
01:01:23,784 --> 01:01:26,754
You put your hand in,
out comes a present.

999
01:01:28,189 --> 01:01:31,025
I don't really understand
how it works, either.

1000
01:01:32,326 --> 01:01:35,329
So, you're Mr. Scrooge.

1001
01:01:35,362 --> 01:01:37,331
That's right.

1002
01:01:37,364 --> 01:01:39,166
But who are you?

1003
01:01:39,200 --> 01:01:41,235
Weihnachtsmann.

1004
01:01:42,537 --> 01:01:44,705
Julenissen.

1005
01:01:45,372 --> 01:01:47,308
Shèngdàn Laorén.

1006
01:01:48,242 --> 01:01:51,345
Babbo Natale, Père Noel,
Kris Kringle.

1007
01:01:51,378 --> 01:01:53,948
Jolly old Saint Nick.

1008
01:01:53,981 --> 01:01:57,017
People call me a lot of things.

1009
01:01:57,885 --> 01:02:00,354
Ha, ha, ha. Very funny.

1010
01:02:00,387 --> 01:02:02,823
Or should I say, "Ho, ho, ho"?

1011
01:02:02,856 --> 01:02:06,327
If you're Santa,
where's your reindeer?

1012
01:02:06,360 --> 01:02:08,162
They were on the roof

1013
01:02:08,195 --> 01:02:10,864
until that guy I turned
into an ice kebab just...

1014
01:02:13,400 --> 01:02:15,069
You don't believe me?

1015
01:02:15,102 --> 01:02:16,170
Go check.

1016
01:02:16,203 --> 01:02:19,006
Prancer left
a tasty log up there.

1017
01:02:19,039 --> 01:02:20,841
This fucking guy.

1018
01:02:20,874 --> 01:02:22,409
You don't think...

1019
01:02:22,443 --> 01:02:25,779
Now, I know you're an idiot,
but don't be an idiot out loud.

1020
01:02:25,813 --> 01:02:27,815
Come on,
he's just in Santy Claus

1021
01:02:27,848 --> 01:02:29,817
with a fucking trick bag.

1022
01:02:29,850 --> 01:02:31,852
Oh, no!

1023
01:02:31,885 --> 01:02:33,487
That bag was full
of kids' dreams!

1024
01:02:33,521 --> 01:02:35,322
Oh, come on.

1025
01:02:35,356 --> 01:02:37,958
Everybody knows that
Christmas dreams are bullshit.

1026
01:02:38,859 --> 01:02:41,128
My father used to make
a big deal out of it

1027
01:02:41,161 --> 01:02:42,963
every Christmas.

1028
01:02:42,997 --> 01:02:45,065
Every freaking Christmas
with the presents

1029
01:02:45,099 --> 01:02:47,268
and the candy
and the decorations

1030
01:02:47,301 --> 01:02:51,138
and the Christmas caroling
and all that bullshit.

1031
01:02:52,439 --> 01:02:54,808
And then when I was...

1032
01:02:54,842 --> 01:02:58,145
I don't know, ten, 11,

1033
01:02:58,178 --> 01:03:00,281
he got laid off,
and that Christmas,

1034
01:03:00,314 --> 01:03:01,516
couldn't even afford a tree.

1035
01:03:01,549 --> 01:03:03,317
No Christmas dinner, no gifts.

1036
01:03:03,350 --> 01:03:05,919
Nothing, nada, <i>culo,</i> dick.

1037
01:03:06,521 --> 01:03:08,022
But our neighbors...

1038
01:03:08,055 --> 01:03:09,890
our neighbors,
oh, they had it all.

1039
01:03:09,923 --> 01:03:11,559
I could see
all that yuletide cheer

1040
01:03:11,593 --> 01:03:14,161
through their window mocking me.

1041
01:03:14,194 --> 01:03:18,098
So Christmas Eve
rolls around, and...

1042
01:03:18,132 --> 01:03:21,168
I waited for everybody
to go to bed.

1043
01:03:21,201 --> 01:03:24,805
And then I snuck in there
to take it all.

1044
01:03:25,939 --> 01:03:28,042
Only problem was that
the gramps got up to take a piss

1045
01:03:28,075 --> 01:03:30,444
and the two of us scared
the shit out of each other.

1046
01:03:30,477 --> 01:03:33,447
And, um, he fell down the stairs

1047
01:03:33,480 --> 01:03:38,052
and-and broke his neck,
and he died in the hospital.

1048
01:03:38,085 --> 01:03:39,587
Everybody thought that I did it,

1049
01:03:39,621 --> 01:03:41,322
and every time
I tried to tell them,

1050
01:03:41,355 --> 01:03:43,824
I tried to tell them that...

1051
01:03:45,359 --> 01:03:47,461
Anyway, maybe I did do it.

1052
01:03:47,494 --> 01:03:49,496
Maybe I did push him.

1053
01:03:49,531 --> 01:03:51,465
Poor old fucker.

1054
01:03:51,498 --> 01:03:54,902
So, you see,
Christmas ruined my life.

1055
01:03:54,935 --> 01:03:56,470
Okay? But you know what?

1056
01:03:56,504 --> 01:03:57,938
It set me on the path

1057
01:03:57,971 --> 01:03:59,973
and made me the great man
that I am today.

1058
01:04:00,007 --> 01:04:02,042
I'm sorry, Jimmy.

1059
01:04:02,677 --> 01:04:04,244
I really am.

1060
01:04:05,212 --> 01:04:07,147
But I do gifts.
I do Christmas cheer.

1061
01:04:07,181 --> 01:04:09,316
I don't get involved
in people's lives.

1062
01:04:09,350 --> 01:04:13,287
Oh, yeah? Yeah, well,
maybe you fucking should!

1063
01:04:17,659 --> 01:04:21,128
Um, how did he know your name?

1064
01:04:21,161 --> 01:04:22,564
Oh, Bjorn.

1065
01:04:22,597 --> 01:04:25,032
What's your excuse?

1066
01:04:25,065 --> 01:04:26,200
Huh?

1067
01:04:26,233 --> 01:04:29,604
Didn't I get you that Huffy bike
you wanted back in '82?

1068
01:04:29,637 --> 01:04:32,973
One you wrote me 50 times about!

1069
01:04:33,006 --> 01:04:34,375
What about you, Kira?

1070
01:04:34,408 --> 01:04:37,512
Well, you made your brother
eat worms.

1071
01:04:37,545 --> 01:04:39,113
That's naughty!

1072
01:04:39,146 --> 01:04:41,048
Okay, how does he know
about my bike?

1073
01:04:41,081 --> 01:04:44,552
It's a lucky guess, like:
"Hey, do you like big tits?"

1074
01:04:44,586 --> 01:04:46,521
Come on, every kid wants
a fucking bike.

1075
01:04:46,554 --> 01:04:49,624
-You're gonna tell me who you
work for... -Oh, Christ. No.

1076
01:04:49,657 --> 01:04:53,060
...then you've got five seconds
to tell me who you really are.

1077
01:04:53,093 --> 01:04:55,929
Five, four, three, two...

1078
01:04:55,963 --> 01:04:57,532
I'm Santa Claus!

1079
01:04:57,565 --> 01:05:00,000
Well, not anymore.

1080
01:05:24,692 --> 01:05:26,694
Is it snowing?

1081
01:05:26,728 --> 01:05:30,130
Is he doing this
with Santa magic?

1082
01:05:36,538 --> 01:05:39,039
Let it snow!

1083
01:05:50,618 --> 01:05:52,554
It's not snow.

1084
01:05:52,587 --> 01:05:54,021
It's Styrofoam.

1085
01:05:54,054 --> 01:05:56,256
I told you this guy's
a big phony.

1086
01:06:10,638 --> 01:06:12,640
Where'd he go?

1087
01:06:12,674 --> 01:06:14,174
He went up the chimney.

1088
01:06:14,208 --> 01:06:15,743
-I saw it.
-I don't know,

1089
01:06:15,777 --> 01:06:17,745
he had a rig
or some pulley system

1090
01:06:17,779 --> 01:06:19,747
-that just yanked him up.
-You can't fit up there.

1091
01:06:19,781 --> 01:06:21,348
-It's impossible.
-Oh, you see one weird thing,

1092
01:06:21,381 --> 01:06:23,618
and then you think
you're in a fairy tale?

1093
01:06:23,651 --> 01:06:25,052
Incoming.

1094
01:06:25,085 --> 01:06:25,787
We've got sleigh bells
approaching.

1095
01:06:25,820 --> 01:06:27,622
Oh, my God.

1096
01:06:27,655 --> 01:06:29,557
It's his reindeer.

1097
01:06:31,258 --> 01:06:33,227
It's the extraction team.

1098
01:06:33,260 --> 01:06:35,395
Pull yourselves together!

1099
01:06:50,344 --> 01:06:54,582
And that is the sound
of my Kill Squad.

1100
01:06:56,183 --> 01:06:58,218
Oh, you're fizzity-fucked now.

1101
01:06:58,252 --> 01:07:00,387
Huh? What are you gonna do?
You little elf bitch.

1102
01:07:00,420 --> 01:07:01,723
Fu...

1103
01:07:01,756 --> 01:07:03,056
Bertie.

1104
01:07:03,090 --> 01:07:04,491
Hashtag "blessed."

1105
01:07:07,562 --> 01:07:10,264
Yeah!

1106
01:07:10,297 --> 01:07:11,398
Parkour.

1107
01:07:11,431 --> 01:07:12,399
Kill him, babe!

1108
01:07:12,432 --> 01:07:15,168
Oh!

1109
01:07:15,870 --> 01:07:17,572
Morgan's gonna save us.

1110
01:07:19,373 --> 01:07:23,176
Jean-Claude Van Dipshit
just ditched us, sweetie.

1111
01:07:30,183 --> 01:07:32,152
Hold your fire.

1112
01:07:32,185 --> 01:07:33,655
Barrel roll!

1113
01:07:35,455 --> 01:07:36,624
Easy, easy.

1114
01:07:36,658 --> 01:07:38,593
-Yeah!
-Easy.

1115
01:07:38,626 --> 01:07:39,794
Identify yourself.

1116
01:07:39,827 --> 01:07:42,462
I'm one of the hostages.

1117
01:07:42,496 --> 01:07:45,432
Morgan Steel, the actor.

1118
01:07:45,465 --> 01:07:48,402
Played a lot of soldiers
in my career.

1119
01:07:48,435 --> 01:07:52,139
Can I just say, thank you
for your service. Semper fi.

1120
01:07:52,807 --> 01:07:54,709
What's the situation inside?

1121
01:07:54,742 --> 01:07:57,210
Bunch of ex-military guys,

1122
01:07:57,244 --> 01:07:59,212
but I got to warn you,
they know you're coming.

1123
01:07:59,246 --> 01:08:00,748
I think they're ready for you.

1124
01:08:00,782 --> 01:08:02,650
They better be.

1125
01:08:02,684 --> 01:08:04,719
We're on a tight schedule.

1126
01:08:04,752 --> 01:08:06,621
Shit.

1127
01:08:09,891 --> 01:08:12,159
Oh, f...

1128
01:08:12,192 --> 01:08:15,429
-All right, let's move out.
-Let's move out.

1129
01:08:19,567 --> 01:08:21,234
Come on.

1130
01:08:21,268 --> 01:08:23,370
You got to be kidding me.

1131
01:08:23,403 --> 01:08:25,138
Hey, Thorp,
you're ten minutes late.

1132
01:08:25,172 --> 01:08:26,473
What kept you?

1133
01:08:26,507 --> 01:08:28,710
Looks to me like your net's
got a hole in it.

1134
01:08:28,743 --> 01:08:31,311
Or are you just letting your
hostages out for some exercise?

1135
01:08:31,345 --> 01:08:33,480
No, no, no. We got
a wild gopher running around

1136
01:08:33,514 --> 01:08:36,183
complicating shit
and causing problems.

1137
01:08:36,216 --> 01:08:37,619
Who? Lightstone security?

1138
01:08:37,652 --> 01:08:39,286
Nah, I don't think so.
Some intruder dressed as Santa.

1139
01:08:39,319 --> 01:08:40,788
But I'm telling you,
I'm telling you,

1140
01:08:40,822 --> 01:08:42,824
there's something weird
about him.

1141
01:08:42,857 --> 01:08:44,491
Might be the real Santa.

1142
01:08:44,525 --> 01:08:46,861
-The fuck did she just say?
-Nothing, nothing.

1143
01:08:46,894 --> 01:08:48,161
She's joking.

1144
01:08:48,195 --> 01:08:50,598
My squad will take care of it.

1145
01:08:52,900 --> 01:08:55,637
Beta Team, go find this asshole.

1146
01:08:55,670 --> 01:08:57,639
Go.

1147
01:08:57,672 --> 01:09:01,876
Now, let's unwrap our present,
shall we?

1148
01:09:01,909 --> 01:09:04,277
All right, you heard the man.

1149
01:09:04,311 --> 01:09:06,781
Time to kill Santa.

1150
01:09:06,814 --> 01:09:09,349
I've got him. He's on the roof.

1151
01:09:09,383 --> 01:09:11,653
Roger that. I got eyes on him.

1152
01:09:28,970 --> 01:09:30,938
Right, Sugarplum.
Hit that button.

1153
01:09:37,912 --> 01:09:39,814
Here we go.

1154
01:09:39,847 --> 01:09:41,314
Our skeleton key.

1155
01:09:41,348 --> 01:09:43,216
The "open" magic stick.

1156
01:09:43,250 --> 01:09:44,752
This better fucking work.

1157
01:09:44,786 --> 01:09:47,487
I'm flushing my career for this,
my reputation.

1158
01:09:47,522 --> 01:09:50,390
Yeah, well, then you can
buy yourself a new rep.

1159
01:09:59,299 --> 01:10:00,702
As a kid, I loved

1160
01:10:00,735 --> 01:10:02,704
unwrapping Christmas presents
so much

1161
01:10:02,737 --> 01:10:05,773
that my mom would wrap
empty boxes for me.

1162
01:10:06,708 --> 01:10:09,209
I didn't care
that nothing was inside.

1163
01:10:20,955 --> 01:10:23,591
Is this a fucking joke?

1164
01:10:23,624 --> 01:10:24,826
No.

1165
01:10:26,326 --> 01:10:27,995
You said it would
fucking be here!

1166
01:10:28,029 --> 01:10:31,733
I'm telling you,
my intel was rock solid.

1167
01:10:31,766 --> 01:10:34,367
I had guys on the inside.

1168
01:10:35,435 --> 01:10:38,740
300 million in cash
was delivered here yesterday

1169
01:10:38,773 --> 01:10:41,241
to this fucking mansion.

1170
01:10:46,013 --> 01:10:48,783
Somebody must've intercepted it.

1171
01:10:52,787 --> 01:10:54,822
Son of a bitch.

1172
01:11:17,344 --> 01:11:18,746
Oh, shit.

1173
01:11:18,780 --> 01:11:21,348
Santa, you okay?

1174
01:11:21,381 --> 01:11:22,984
Santa.

1175
01:11:23,017 --> 01:11:25,086
A bunch of new bad guys
showed up.

1176
01:11:25,119 --> 01:11:27,054
They're on the naughty list.

1177
01:11:27,088 --> 01:11:30,290
They got their gadgets
and their gizmos on them.

1178
01:11:30,958 --> 01:11:33,460
I'm sorry.
I think this is it, kid.

1179
01:11:33,493 --> 01:11:35,096
No, no, don't say that.

1180
01:11:35,129 --> 01:11:37,098
The naughty list...

1181
01:11:37,131 --> 01:11:39,667
just grows and grows.

1182
01:11:48,441 --> 01:11:52,079
He's in that structure.
Body cams on.

1183
01:11:52,113 --> 01:11:54,115
Don't give up.

1184
01:11:54,148 --> 01:11:56,784
You make a wish this time,
Santa.

1185
01:11:56,818 --> 01:11:58,485
Just this once.

1186
01:11:58,519 --> 01:12:01,454
If you could have anything
in this world,

1187
01:12:01,488 --> 01:12:03,691
what would it be?

1188
01:12:09,462 --> 01:12:12,465
I wish I could see
Mrs. Claus again,

1189
01:12:12,499 --> 01:12:15,570
tell her how much I love her.

1190
01:12:15,603 --> 01:12:18,438
Then you make
that wish come true.

1191
01:12:18,471 --> 01:12:20,575
Oh, shit.

1192
01:12:20,608 --> 01:12:22,844
No, no, no, no. No, no.

1193
01:12:24,679 --> 01:12:25,947
Oh, God.

1194
01:12:25,980 --> 01:12:28,883
No.

1195
01:12:41,162 --> 01:12:44,131
You said these guys,
they're naughty.

1196
01:12:44,165 --> 01:12:47,101
And what do you do
to the naughty ones?

1197
01:12:47,134 --> 01:12:49,003
I give them a lump of coal.

1198
01:12:49,036 --> 01:12:51,471
Yeah. Give them their lumps.

1199
01:12:52,640 --> 01:12:54,842
Take that coal and shove it
straight up their...

1200
01:12:54,876 --> 01:12:57,011
-Anuses.
-Yeah!

1201
01:13:03,050 --> 01:13:04,752
They're right outside.

1202
01:13:19,066 --> 01:13:21,502
Santa's gonna eat
through these guys

1203
01:13:21,535 --> 01:13:23,638
like a plate full of cookies.

1204
01:13:28,042 --> 01:13:29,577
Move, move.

1205
01:13:33,114 --> 01:13:34,949
Hey, lock it up.

1206
01:13:36,851 --> 01:13:38,753
Lights down.

1207
01:13:39,854 --> 01:13:41,923
Stay at my back.

1208
01:13:41,956 --> 01:13:43,891
All right, we got this, boys.

1209
01:14:02,777 --> 01:14:05,079
All right, where the fuck
is my money?!

1210
01:14:05,112 --> 01:14:07,615
Where's the money?!

1211
01:14:18,259 --> 01:14:20,995
All right, I've been
a sweetheart up to now.

1212
01:14:21,028 --> 01:14:22,596
But that's all over.

1213
01:14:22,630 --> 01:14:24,198
No more fucking games!

1214
01:14:24,231 --> 01:14:25,833
Where's the money?

1215
01:14:25,866 --> 01:14:28,903
Or I will shoot every last
one of you and enjoy it.

1216
01:14:33,007 --> 01:14:35,743
-It's in the vault.
-I just looked in the vault.

1217
01:14:35,776 --> 01:14:37,244
Had the money been in there,

1218
01:14:37,278 --> 01:14:38,980
I'd have a different
expression on my face.

1219
01:14:39,013 --> 01:14:40,247
Impossible.

1220
01:14:40,281 --> 01:14:42,550
Takes days to get
into that thing.

1221
01:14:42,583 --> 01:14:45,987
Not if we have the key,
Mrs. Lightstone.

1222
01:14:47,288 --> 01:14:49,256
Thorp.

1223
01:14:50,791 --> 01:14:53,227
You can't trust anyone
these days.

1224
01:14:53,260 --> 01:14:55,563
I'm not sure how, but you

1225
01:14:55,596 --> 01:14:58,299
or one of your shithead kids
moved the money.

1226
01:14:58,332 --> 01:15:00,201
And this upsets me.

1227
01:15:00,234 --> 01:15:02,036
It upsets me

1228
01:15:02,069 --> 01:15:06,107
in a way that makes me want to
just randomly shoot at people.

1229
01:15:07,074 --> 01:15:09,210
Hold on. Just... Sorry.

1230
01:15:09,243 --> 01:15:10,745
-Um...
-What? What?

1231
01:15:10,778 --> 01:15:12,213
Uh, what if you randomly shoot

1232
01:15:12,246 --> 01:15:14,782
the only person
who knows where it is?

1233
01:15:15,916 --> 01:15:17,985
Oh, fuck you people!

1234
01:15:22,723 --> 01:15:27,795
♪ We waited
all through the year ♪

1235
01:15:28,662 --> 01:15:33,701
♪ For the day to appear ♪

1236
01:15:35,603 --> 01:15:41,208
♪ When we could be together ♪

1237
01:15:41,242 --> 01:15:43,811
♪ In harmony ♪

1238
01:15:45,212 --> 01:15:47,314
♪ You know the time will come ♪

1239
01:15:50,317 --> 01:15:52,720
♪ Peace on Earth for everyone ♪

1240
01:15:52,753 --> 01:15:54,188
Suck on this.

1241
01:15:58,759 --> 01:16:03,631
♪ And we can live forever ♪

1242
01:16:03,664 --> 01:16:06,867
♪ In a world where we are free ♪

1243
01:16:06,901 --> 01:16:09,904
♪ Let it shine for you and me ♪

1244
01:16:09,937 --> 01:16:13,207
♪ There's something
about Christmastime ♪

1245
01:16:13,240 --> 01:16:16,177
♪ Something about
Christmastime ♪

1246
01:16:16,210 --> 01:16:19,213
♪ That makes you wish it was
Christmas every day... ♪

1247
01:16:19,246 --> 01:16:20,781
I need some feedback, guys.

1248
01:16:22,349 --> 01:16:24,618
Guys, what the hell is going on?

1249
01:16:25,319 --> 01:16:27,888
♪ The way that
the old folks smile ♪

1250
01:16:27,922 --> 01:16:32,693
♪ Says that Christmas
will never go away ♪

1251
01:16:34,128 --> 01:16:38,966
♪ We're all as one tonight ♪

1252
01:16:38,999 --> 01:16:43,737
♪ Makes no difference
if you're Black or white ♪

1253
01:16:46,674 --> 01:16:49,210
♪ 'Cause we can sing together ♪

1254
01:16:52,012 --> 01:16:54,048
♪ In harmony ♪

1255
01:16:55,950 --> 01:17:00,754
♪ I know it's not too late ♪

1256
01:17:00,788 --> 01:17:03,724
♪ The world would be ♪

1257
01:17:03,757 --> 01:17:07,128
♪ A better place ♪

1258
01:17:09,263 --> 01:17:10,764
-What's that?
-Huh?

1259
01:17:10,798 --> 01:17:12,867
♪ If we can keep the spirit ♪

1260
01:17:14,835 --> 01:17:17,271
♪ More than one day
in the year ♪

1261
01:17:17,304 --> 01:17:21,675
♪ Send a message
loud and clear ♪

1262
01:17:22,843 --> 01:17:25,779
♪ There's something
about Christmastime ♪

1263
01:17:25,813 --> 01:17:28,215
♪ Something about
Christmastime ♪

1264
01:17:28,249 --> 01:17:32,686
♪ That makes you wish
it was Christmas every day ♪

1265
01:17:34,788 --> 01:17:38,325
♪ To see the joy
in the children's eyes ♪

1266
01:17:38,359 --> 01:17:41,028
♪ The way that
the old folks smile ♪

1267
01:17:41,061 --> 01:17:46,100
♪ Says that Christmas
will never go away ♪

1268
01:17:47,067 --> 01:17:49,970
♪ It's the time of year
when everyone's together... ♪

1269
01:17:50,004 --> 01:17:51,939
Jesus Christ.

1270
01:17:52,740 --> 01:17:55,176
Nope. Just jolly old Saint Nick.

1271
01:17:55,209 --> 01:17:57,378
♪ Here on Christmas Day ♪

1272
01:17:58,979 --> 01:18:02,783
♪ When the ones you love
are there ♪

1273
01:18:02,816 --> 01:18:07,454
♪ You can feel the magic
in the air... ♪

1274
01:18:07,488 --> 01:18:10,291
-Oh, God!
-There you go.

1275
01:18:10,324 --> 01:18:12,026
A little stocking stuffer.

1276
01:18:12,960 --> 01:18:16,363
Where is it?
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

1277
01:18:16,397 --> 01:18:18,933
Fuck, fuck, fuck.

1278
01:18:18,966 --> 01:18:21,735
-I got to watch.
-Fuck!

1279
01:18:22,836 --> 01:18:24,972
Ho-Ho-Holy shit.

1280
01:18:25,005 --> 01:18:27,341
♪ Christmas will never
go away. ♪

1281
01:18:27,374 --> 01:18:29,977
Gertrude would never
trust anybody

1282
01:18:30,010 --> 01:18:32,346
who wasn't blood
with this kind of info.

1283
01:18:32,379 --> 01:18:34,248
So...

1284
01:18:34,281 --> 01:18:37,818
the in-laws wouldn't know shit,

1285
01:18:37,851 --> 01:18:40,254
which means
that I can shoot her...

1286
01:18:41,889 --> 01:18:43,857
...unless you tell me
where the fucking money is.

1287
01:18:43,891 --> 01:18:46,093
Please don't, okay?
It's Christmas.

1288
01:18:46,126 --> 01:18:47,995
Shut up!

1289
01:18:48,896 --> 01:18:50,164
I swear,
I'll blow her brains out

1290
01:18:50,197 --> 01:18:51,498
unless you tell me
where the money went.

1291
01:18:51,533 --> 01:18:53,901
I did it!

1292
01:18:53,934 --> 01:18:56,203
-What?
-Okay. Yeah, I did it.

1293
01:18:56,237 --> 01:18:58,138
-I moved the money.
-No, d-don't-don't be an idiot.

1294
01:18:58,172 --> 01:18:59,940
-What?
-The money's our only leverage.

1295
01:18:59,974 --> 01:19:01,775
Well, my wife has a fucking
gun to her head, so...

1296
01:19:01,809 --> 01:19:03,511
Yeah, how did you find out
that we were coming, huh?

1297
01:19:03,545 --> 01:19:05,246
I didn't. I was stealing it.

1298
01:19:06,581 --> 01:19:07,915
-Yeah, coincidence.
-Oh, my God.

1299
01:19:07,948 --> 01:19:09,250
I was planning to take the money

1300
01:19:09,283 --> 01:19:12,386
and leave with my wife
and daughter tonight

1301
01:19:12,419 --> 01:19:14,388
and never come back here.

1302
01:19:14,421 --> 01:19:17,858
Oh, and then my mom would, uh,

1303
01:19:17,891 --> 01:19:19,893
read the note with her whiskey
in the morning

1304
01:19:19,927 --> 01:19:21,495
and know what I had done.

1305
01:19:21,529 --> 01:19:23,964
For years,
I have been telling you

1306
01:19:23,998 --> 01:19:26,267
to stop caring about
your mother's fucking money!

1307
01:19:26,300 --> 01:19:29,837
And you think the solution
was to steal a bunch of it.

1308
01:19:30,538 --> 01:19:32,473
Well, it...
yeah, it does sound stupid

1309
01:19:32,507 --> 01:19:34,041
when you say it like that.

1310
01:19:34,074 --> 01:19:36,076
How can you do this right now?

1311
01:19:36,110 --> 01:19:38,145
It's disgusting. After all
that Mother has given us?

1312
01:19:38,178 --> 01:19:40,314
Come on, Alva.
Everything she ever gave you,

1313
01:19:40,347 --> 01:19:41,549
she made damn sure we knew

1314
01:19:41,583 --> 01:19:42,916
she had the power
to take right back.

1315
01:19:42,950 --> 01:19:46,820
I have spent years
groveling to you.

1316
01:19:46,854 --> 01:19:49,456
In the meanwhile,
I was destroying

1317
01:19:49,490 --> 01:19:51,526
the only good thing in my life.

1318
01:19:51,559 --> 01:19:53,027
What are we doing here, huh?

1319
01:19:53,060 --> 01:19:55,896
Family therapy or doing a heist?

1320
01:19:55,929 --> 01:19:58,932
Yeah, enough of this sharing
bullshit.

1321
01:19:58,966 --> 01:20:00,934
All right. Where'd you put it?

1322
01:20:07,074 --> 01:20:09,810
Look at this little idiot.

1323
01:20:13,380 --> 01:20:15,015
Oh, no.

1324
01:20:15,049 --> 01:20:16,483
What?

1325
01:20:16,518 --> 01:20:18,452
-The bad guys found me.
-Okay.

1326
01:20:18,485 --> 01:20:20,354
I'm coming.

1327
01:20:26,994 --> 01:20:30,964
You know, booby traps don't work
unless you hide them.

1328
01:20:33,501 --> 01:20:35,102
You little moron.

1329
01:20:38,105 --> 01:20:40,374
Jesus! Shit!

1330
01:20:44,345 --> 01:20:46,380
Help me! Help me! Help!

1331
01:20:47,948 --> 01:20:50,017
You'll be f...
You'll be fine.

1332
01:20:50,050 --> 01:20:52,219
Sit tight.
I'll be back in a sec.

1333
01:20:55,122 --> 01:20:57,391
Right after I kill
this little piece of shit!

1334
01:21:00,194 --> 01:21:02,496
You little fucking brat.

1335
01:21:51,211 --> 01:21:52,680
You're dead!

1336
01:21:52,714 --> 01:21:55,315
You're so fucking dead!

1337
01:22:02,456 --> 01:22:05,025
Fucking piece of shit.

1338
01:22:10,063 --> 01:22:12,933
You little...

1339
01:22:30,117 --> 01:22:32,186
Incoming!

1340
01:22:50,738 --> 01:22:52,607
Son of a fucking...

1341
01:23:02,684 --> 01:23:04,586
Fuck.

1342
01:23:04,619 --> 01:23:06,453
I got you now, kid.

1343
01:23:06,487 --> 01:23:08,222
Yeah? Heads up.

1344
01:23:10,290 --> 01:23:11,793
That's all you got?
You fucking...

1345
01:23:14,662 --> 01:23:17,331
Enough of this shit.

1346
01:23:42,790 --> 01:23:44,157
Santa!

1347
01:23:54,101 --> 01:23:56,270
Hi, Trudy. Hi.

1348
01:23:56,303 --> 01:23:59,139
I made booby traps like
in the movie. It was so funny.

1349
01:23:59,172 --> 01:24:01,609
Ho, ho, ho.

1350
01:24:07,549 --> 01:24:11,485
Trudy, I want you to, uh...
just do me a favor.

1351
01:24:12,386 --> 01:24:15,289
Just turn around
and close your eyes.

1352
01:24:15,322 --> 01:24:18,125
Maybe put your fingers
in your ears and, uh,

1353
01:24:18,158 --> 01:24:21,194
sing "Jingle Bells"
as loud as you can.

1354
01:24:21,228 --> 01:24:23,163
♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells ♪

1355
01:24:23,196 --> 01:24:25,432
♪ Jingle all the way ♪

1356
01:24:25,465 --> 01:24:27,769
♪ Oh, how fun it is to ride... ♪

1357
01:24:27,802 --> 01:24:30,738
You were about to murder
an innocent child.

1358
01:24:30,772 --> 01:24:31,839
♪ Jingle bells,
jingle bells... ♪

1359
01:24:31,873 --> 01:24:33,575
Innocent?

1360
01:24:33,608 --> 01:24:35,577
It's naughty.

1361
01:24:35,610 --> 01:24:37,177
Naughty.

1362
01:24:37,745 --> 01:24:39,279
Naughty!

1363
01:24:39,313 --> 01:24:40,882
It's part of
the Lightstone legacy.

1364
01:24:40,915 --> 01:24:42,717
We're horrible people.

1365
01:24:42,750 --> 01:24:44,451
So I get why you did
what you did.

1366
01:24:44,484 --> 01:24:46,521
When your grandfather told me
I'd never run the company

1367
01:24:46,554 --> 01:24:48,856
because a girl
doesn't have what it takes,

1368
01:24:48,890 --> 01:24:50,858
I had to snatch the reins
away from him.

1369
01:24:50,892 --> 01:24:52,426
But the point is,

1370
01:24:52,459 --> 01:24:54,227
a Lightstone takes
what's theirs.

1371
01:24:54,261 --> 01:24:55,830
I'm proud of you, son.

1372
01:24:55,863 --> 01:24:57,331
All right, where the hell is it?

1373
01:24:59,667 --> 01:25:01,636
The money's hidden inside.

1374
01:25:02,804 --> 01:25:05,807
And the Three Wise Men
presented him with gifts

1375
01:25:05,840 --> 01:25:08,710
of frankincense, myrrh...

1376
01:25:10,778 --> 01:25:13,848
...and cold hard cash.

1377
01:25:13,881 --> 01:25:15,382
Load it up, boys.

1378
01:25:15,415 --> 01:25:17,752
All right,
we're securing the money.

1379
01:25:17,785 --> 01:25:19,654
Kill the hostages
and meet us outside.

1380
01:25:19,687 --> 01:25:21,488
What?

1381
01:25:21,522 --> 01:25:23,490
No.

1382
01:25:25,526 --> 01:25:26,728
Mom.

1383
01:25:26,761 --> 01:25:28,228
It's fine, Bert.

1384
01:25:28,261 --> 01:25:29,597
Everything's fine.

1385
01:25:29,631 --> 01:25:31,699
Okay.

1386
01:25:31,733 --> 01:25:33,768
Everybody, get up.

1387
01:25:33,801 --> 01:25:38,238
It's time for a murder.

1388
01:25:38,271 --> 01:25:40,708
Come on. Come on.
You don't want to kill us.

1389
01:25:40,742 --> 01:25:42,175
You really don't.

1390
01:25:42,209 --> 01:25:44,277
Oh, yes, I do.

1391
01:25:44,311 --> 01:25:47,381
I really, really, really do.

1392
01:25:47,414 --> 01:25:48,916
And I'm gonna start with you.

1393
01:25:48,950 --> 01:25:50,417
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

1394
01:25:50,450 --> 01:25:51,686
Wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.

1395
01:25:53,420 --> 01:25:54,956
You got to kill
Aunt Linda first.

1396
01:25:54,989 --> 01:25:56,924
What the hell, Bert?

1397
01:25:56,958 --> 01:25:58,860
You want to squeeze in
being a little shit

1398
01:25:58,893 --> 01:26:00,460
before you die, Bertrude?

1399
01:26:00,494 --> 01:26:01,963
-I say shoot him first.
-What?

1400
01:26:01,996 --> 01:26:04,231
Wait. No, no, no.
Don't shoot him.

1401
01:26:04,264 --> 01:26:06,266
Don't shoot him first.
And don't you call him

1402
01:26:06,299 --> 01:26:07,869
a little shit,
you gold-digging bitch.

1403
01:26:07,902 --> 01:26:09,604
Okay. I changed my mind.

1404
01:26:09,637 --> 01:26:11,572
-Shoot the alcoholic bitch
first. -Don't call my mom

1405
01:26:11,606 --> 01:26:13,675
-an alcoholic bitch.
-Your mom's an alcoholic.

1406
01:26:13,708 --> 01:26:15,510
-I'm sorry.
-You're a gold-digging bitch.

1407
01:26:15,543 --> 01:26:17,679
Oh, I'm a gold-digger,
when I have a whole-ass career?

1408
01:26:17,712 --> 01:26:19,379
You're not even part
of the fucking family.

1409
01:26:19,413 --> 01:26:22,382
-She's an engineer.
-You know goddamn well...

1410
01:26:22,416 --> 01:26:23,551
Shut up!

1411
01:26:27,287 --> 01:26:31,358
Just like rats in a barrel.

1412
01:26:32,026 --> 01:26:34,294
Why don't you die
with some dignity?

1413
01:26:39,534 --> 01:26:41,301
Get off of me!

1414
01:26:41,334 --> 01:26:42,870
Okay, okay.

1415
01:26:42,904 --> 01:26:44,304
Fuck you!

1416
01:26:44,337 --> 01:26:46,741
This is for yelling at my child!

1417
01:26:46,774 --> 01:26:48,275
Creep!

1418
01:26:48,308 --> 01:26:49,877
That's for slapping me,
motherfucker!

1419
01:26:49,911 --> 01:26:51,813
This is for
your dumb fucking hat!

1420
01:27:01,556 --> 01:27:03,024
Is he...

1421
01:27:03,057 --> 01:27:04,726
Is he dead?

1422
01:27:08,629 --> 01:27:10,531
Yeah.

1423
01:27:11,364 --> 01:27:12,800
Thanks, Linda.

1424
01:27:12,834 --> 01:27:15,970
Well, it's nice to do something
as a family for a change.

1425
01:27:17,370 --> 01:27:18,873
Oh, shit!

1426
01:27:18,906 --> 01:27:20,808
I'm gonna...

1427
01:27:24,912 --> 01:27:26,480
That was for Morgan.

1428
01:27:26,514 --> 01:27:31,552
He may have been stupid,
but he was very, very hot.

1429
01:27:32,854 --> 01:27:35,288
Oh. Trudy!

1430
01:27:35,322 --> 01:27:37,658
Mommy!

1431
01:27:37,692 --> 01:27:39,359
Thank God, baby.

1432
01:27:39,392 --> 01:27:41,294
Are you okay?

1433
01:27:41,328 --> 01:27:42,897
I'm okay, Mommy.

1434
01:27:42,930 --> 01:27:44,031
Okay.

1435
01:27:44,065 --> 01:27:46,667
This is my friend, Santa.

1436
01:27:50,972 --> 01:27:53,007
What the fuck?

1437
01:27:53,040 --> 01:27:54,909
I can't thank you enough,
Mister...

1438
01:27:54,942 --> 01:27:57,512
Claus. But please call me Santa.

1439
01:27:57,545 --> 01:27:58,646
Mm-hmm.

1440
01:27:58,679 --> 01:28:00,748
You guys should get out of here.

1441
01:28:00,782 --> 01:28:02,349
It's dangerous.

1442
01:28:02,382 --> 01:28:04,652
They took my husband
and her grandmother.

1443
01:28:06,486 --> 01:28:07,989
Anybody know how to work
these gizmos?

1444
01:28:08,022 --> 01:28:09,422
I think so.

1445
01:28:09,456 --> 01:28:11,058
I used to hunt with my dad.

1446
01:28:11,092 --> 01:28:12,359
Ow.

1447
01:28:12,392 --> 01:28:13,928
Copy that. How's that looking?

1448
01:28:13,961 --> 01:28:16,764
-Yeah, I got it on lockdown.
-Heads on a swivel, boys.

1449
01:28:18,099 --> 01:28:19,734
-Incoming!
-Heads up!

1450
01:28:21,102 --> 01:28:22,670
Oh, oh! Who's shooting?

1451
01:28:22,703 --> 01:28:23,905
Who's...

1452
01:28:23,938 --> 01:28:27,440
-Cap, get down!
-Watch it! Watch it!

1453
01:28:32,479 --> 01:28:34,816
Gun 'em down. Mow them all down.

1454
01:28:50,665 --> 01:28:53,501
-All right, let's get the fuck
out of here. -Let's go.

1455
01:28:53,534 --> 01:28:55,937
-Go where?
-Come on, move, you old bat.

1456
01:28:56,804 --> 01:28:58,739
Get your fucking
hands off of me.

1457
01:29:08,850 --> 01:29:11,052
Oh! Oh, shit.

1458
01:29:11,085 --> 01:29:14,622
My balls! My fucking balls!

1459
01:29:31,505 --> 01:29:33,975
Ow, my balls! Why did you
shoot me in the ball...

1460
01:29:37,879 --> 01:29:40,147
Oh, Jesus.

1461
01:29:40,181 --> 01:29:41,849
Sorry.

1462
01:29:43,784 --> 01:29:46,453
Don't worry about us, Mr. Claus.
We got this.

1463
01:29:46,486 --> 01:29:48,823
Who is that guy?

1464
01:29:48,856 --> 01:29:51,424
He said he was Mr. Claus.

1465
01:29:53,027 --> 01:29:55,029
-Fuck. Trudy.
-No, no.

1466
01:29:55,062 --> 01:29:56,764
She's in the house. She's okay.

1467
01:29:56,797 --> 01:29:58,032
She's safe.

1468
01:29:58,065 --> 01:30:00,167
-Oh, thank God.
-Yeah.

1469
01:30:20,955 --> 01:30:22,523
No, no.

1470
01:30:22,556 --> 01:30:25,059
-Oh... go, go, go, go, go.
-No, no, no. Wait, wait.

1471
01:31:10,938 --> 01:31:13,507
Oh, shit!

1472
01:31:15,710 --> 01:31:18,546
Ho, ho!

1473
01:31:20,114 --> 01:31:21,481
Fuck!

1474
01:32:04,925 --> 01:32:07,695
Fucking die.

1475
01:33:00,815 --> 01:33:02,683
Come on. Come on. Come on.

1476
01:33:02,716 --> 01:33:05,920
Yeah, over here. Over here.

1477
01:33:05,953 --> 01:33:07,188
Santa!

1478
01:33:08,155 --> 01:33:09,990
Come on!

1479
01:33:10,024 --> 01:33:11,358
Yeah.

1480
01:33:55,202 --> 01:33:56,637
Fuck.

1481
01:34:20,194 --> 01:34:22,229
You're real?

1482
01:34:23,731 --> 01:34:26,066
You're... him.

1483
01:34:29,069 --> 01:34:30,371
You're you.

1484
01:34:30,404 --> 01:34:32,973
That's what I've been trying
to tell you.

1485
01:34:33,007 --> 01:34:36,310
The real goddamn Santa Claus.

1486
01:34:36,343 --> 01:34:38,846
This is not your night, pal.

1487
01:34:38,879 --> 01:34:41,982
Oh, I don't know.
I think you're wrong.

1488
01:34:42,016 --> 01:34:45,319
I think my whole shitty life's
built up to this moment.

1489
01:34:45,352 --> 01:34:46,787
Because when I kill you,

1490
01:34:46,820 --> 01:34:50,090
this whole goddamn holiday
finally ends.

1491
01:34:51,859 --> 01:34:53,827
Whatever it takes...

1492
01:34:55,429 --> 01:34:57,431
...Christmas dies tonight.

1493
01:35:49,883 --> 01:35:51,385
Whoa!

1494
01:37:16,604 --> 01:37:19,306
The last Christmas.

1495
01:37:29,316 --> 01:37:31,885
Not if you still believe.

1496
01:37:33,487 --> 01:37:35,489
No!

1497
01:38:03,685 --> 01:38:07,287
I have no idea what the fuck
is going on here.

1498
01:38:09,591 --> 01:38:11,892
But this ends now.

1499
01:38:16,631 --> 01:38:18,465
Damn right it does.

1500
01:38:27,575 --> 01:38:29,943
Trudy, be careful.

1501
01:38:33,480 --> 01:38:35,416
Santa!

1502
01:38:35,449 --> 01:38:38,051
Oh, no. Santa.

1503
01:38:39,386 --> 01:38:41,054
Oh, no.

1504
01:38:47,695 --> 01:38:50,030
You saved my daughter.

1505
01:38:50,632 --> 01:38:52,299
No.

1506
01:38:53,267 --> 01:38:54,569
She saved me.

1507
01:38:54,602 --> 01:38:57,337
Help him. Please help him.

1508
01:38:57,371 --> 01:38:59,973
Honey, I don't think
there's anything we can do.

1509
01:39:00,007 --> 01:39:01,175
It's okay. It's okay.

1510
01:39:01,208 --> 01:39:03,444
It's too late for that.

1511
01:39:03,477 --> 01:39:05,946
Too late.

1512
01:39:06,581 --> 01:39:09,249
I'm cold.

1513
01:39:09,283 --> 01:39:11,485
I haven't felt cold in years.

1514
01:39:11,519 --> 01:39:13,555
We need to keep him warm.

1515
01:39:14,556 --> 01:39:16,691
All of the fires are going out.

1516
01:39:16,724 --> 01:39:19,193
We need to find
something to burn.

1517
01:39:20,461 --> 01:39:22,095
I got an idea.

1518
01:39:25,199 --> 01:39:27,000
Whoa.

1519
01:39:28,435 --> 01:39:29,737
No.

1520
01:39:29,771 --> 01:39:32,072
No, no, no, no. No, Jason, no.

1521
01:39:32,105 --> 01:39:33,140
Please, Santa.

1522
01:39:33,173 --> 01:39:36,210
I don't want you to die.

1523
01:39:39,246 --> 01:39:40,782
Jason, let's slow this down.

1524
01:39:40,815 --> 01:39:42,382
What are you doing?

1525
01:39:42,416 --> 01:39:45,620
I've lived longer
than any man should ever live.

1526
01:39:45,653 --> 01:39:48,388
He's pretty much dead.
What the hell is happening?

1527
01:39:48,422 --> 01:39:50,457
-You don't need to burn money.
-Okay. More. Yeah.

1528
01:39:50,491 --> 01:39:54,061
You can't die, Santa.
You have to get up.

1529
01:39:54,094 --> 01:39:56,531
I think I used up
all my Christmas magic.

1530
01:39:57,498 --> 01:39:59,233
Sorry.

1531
01:40:01,268 --> 01:40:04,806
I'm s... I'm sorry I can't
give you what you asked for.

1532
01:40:06,541 --> 01:40:08,710
Take that. Take that.

1533
01:40:08,743 --> 01:40:10,410
But you did.

1534
01:40:13,180 --> 01:40:15,449
Santa, please don't die.

1535
01:40:15,482 --> 01:40:18,085
Wake up. Wake up.

1536
01:40:18,118 --> 01:40:20,588
We need to get him
close to the fire.

1537
01:40:20,622 --> 01:40:22,557
Jason.

1538
01:40:23,323 --> 01:40:25,325
Just wake up.

1539
01:40:26,326 --> 01:40:27,629
Please.

1540
01:40:27,662 --> 01:40:29,564
No.

1541
01:40:33,801 --> 01:40:37,237
Oh, I am so, so sorry.

1542
01:40:42,142 --> 01:40:45,078
This man...

1543
01:40:45,813 --> 01:40:49,416
This brave, brave man,
whoever he was...

1544
01:40:49,449 --> 01:40:50,685
He's Santa.

1545
01:40:50,718 --> 01:40:52,854
The real Santa. He is.

1546
01:40:52,887 --> 01:40:56,156
And I still believe in him.

1547
01:40:56,858 --> 01:40:59,594
I'll always believe in you,
Santa.

1548
01:41:04,264 --> 01:41:06,266
I believe in him, too.

1549
01:41:09,436 --> 01:41:11,873
He saved Trudy.

1550
01:41:11,906 --> 01:41:14,341
He saved our family.

1551
01:41:16,343 --> 01:41:18,580
What's realer than that?

1552
01:41:22,517 --> 01:41:24,384
Then maybe...

1553
01:41:26,754 --> 01:41:29,089
I believe in him, too.

1554
01:41:29,757 --> 01:41:31,391
So do I.

1555
01:41:32,426 --> 01:41:35,663
Oh, shit.

1556
01:41:35,697 --> 01:41:37,765
I guess...

1557
01:41:37,799 --> 01:41:39,801
I guess I do, too.

1558
01:41:39,834 --> 01:41:41,669
Fuck me.

1559
01:41:41,703 --> 01:41:43,571
I believe, too.

1560
01:41:53,881 --> 01:41:55,516
Oh, my God.

1561
01:41:55,550 --> 01:41:56,684
Santa!

1562
01:42:01,656 --> 01:42:03,323
You...

1563
01:42:04,926 --> 01:42:07,160
You were dead.

1564
01:42:07,795 --> 01:42:10,397
Christmas magic.

1565
01:42:10,430 --> 01:42:12,900
I still don't really
understand...

1566
01:42:12,934 --> 01:42:15,135
how it works.

1567
01:42:20,642 --> 01:42:22,510
Thank you.

1568
01:42:22,543 --> 01:42:24,545
I don't know
how we can ever repay you.

1569
01:42:24,579 --> 01:42:26,681
Well, you brought me back
from the dead,

1570
01:42:26,714 --> 01:42:28,415
so we'll call it even.

1571
01:42:29,550 --> 01:42:30,818
Even?

1572
01:42:30,852 --> 01:42:33,453
We just burned
half a million dollars.

1573
01:42:34,287 --> 01:42:35,790
-Look, Santa!
-Hmm?

1574
01:42:35,823 --> 01:42:37,424
Look who came.

1575
01:42:44,599 --> 01:42:47,869
Now you show up, huh?

1576
01:42:47,902 --> 01:42:49,436
You leave me here to die,

1577
01:42:49,469 --> 01:42:51,606
come back after
all the work's done, huh?

1578
01:42:51,639 --> 01:42:54,408
You know what? I should make
you guys into a stew

1579
01:42:54,441 --> 01:42:56,611
and feed you to the elves!

1580
01:42:58,613 --> 01:43:03,551
Yes, Blitzen!
Yes, I'm talking to you!

1581
01:43:03,584 --> 01:43:05,553
You, too, Prancer.

1582
01:43:10,858 --> 01:43:12,827
You got my sack.

1583
01:43:12,860 --> 01:43:17,330
My spare... You went home
and you got my spare sack?

1584
01:43:19,000 --> 01:43:21,769
Oh, God, I can't stay mad
at you guys.

1585
01:43:21,803 --> 01:43:23,437
I...

1586
01:43:23,470 --> 01:43:27,775
Aw. I can't. I can't.

1587
01:43:27,809 --> 01:43:30,611
Aw.

1588
01:43:31,612 --> 01:43:33,681
Aw.

1589
01:43:44,659 --> 01:43:46,259
Hello, beautiful.

1590
01:43:46,293 --> 01:43:48,228
Skullcrusher!

1591
01:44:01,008 --> 01:44:02,744
Guess this is goodbye.

1592
01:44:02,777 --> 01:44:04,344
I got to go.

1593
01:44:05,046 --> 01:44:07,347
Do you have to?

1594
01:44:10,551 --> 01:44:12,820
It's Christmas Eve,
and there's a lot of...

1595
01:44:12,854 --> 01:44:14,454
boys and girls on the nice list

1596
01:44:14,488 --> 01:44:16,824
that want their presents,
you know?

1597
01:44:18,926 --> 01:44:20,661
Thank you.

1598
01:44:21,629 --> 01:44:23,064
For what?

1599
01:44:23,097 --> 01:44:24,799
For believing in me.

1600
01:44:24,832 --> 01:44:28,335
For reminding me
that Christmas still matters.

1601
01:44:29,804 --> 01:44:32,507
And that I still...

1602
01:44:32,540 --> 01:44:34,609
matter.

1603
01:44:36,077 --> 01:44:38,445
You gave me
my "ho, ho, ho" back.

1604
01:44:48,122 --> 01:44:50,625
All right. Get out of here.

1605
01:44:54,361 --> 01:44:57,330
Merry Christmas!

1606
01:44:59,767 --> 01:45:00,935
Hyah!

1607
01:45:00,968 --> 01:45:04,404
Now, Dasher! Now, Dancer!

1608
01:45:04,437 --> 01:45:06,541
Now, Prancer and Vixen!

1609
01:45:06,574 --> 01:45:09,911
On, Comet! On, Cupid!

1610
01:45:09,944 --> 01:45:12,947
On, Donner and Blitzen!

1611
01:45:12,980 --> 01:45:16,784
Come on, you beautiful bastards!

1612
01:45:16,818 --> 01:45:19,921
We've got some work to do!

1613
01:45:19,954 --> 01:45:22,957
Hyah!

1614
01:45:22,990 --> 01:45:25,726
Ho, ho, ho!

1615
01:45:25,760 --> 01:45:28,863
Merry Christmas!

1616
01:45:39,874 --> 01:45:45,847
♪ Are you hanging up
your stocking on your wall? ♪

1617
01:45:47,782 --> 01:45:53,754
♪ It's the time that
every Santa has a ball ♪

1618
01:45:55,488 --> 01:45:59,426
♪ Does he ride
a red-nosed reindeer? ♪

1619
01:45:59,459 --> 01:46:02,864
♪ Does a ton-up on his sleigh? ♪

1620
01:46:02,897 --> 01:46:08,836
♪ Do the fairies
keep him sober for a day? ♪

1621
01:46:09,804 --> 01:46:12,006
♪ So here it is ♪

1622
01:46:12,039 --> 01:46:14,008
♪ Merry Christmas ♪

1623
01:46:14,041 --> 01:46:18,579
♪ Everybody's having fun ♪

1624
01:46:18,613 --> 01:46:21,983
♪ Look to the future now ♪

1625
01:46:22,016 --> 01:46:28,923
♪ It's only just begun ♪

1626
01:46:28,956 --> 01:46:34,996
♪ Are you waiting for
the family to arrive? ♪

1627
01:46:36,964 --> 01:46:39,033
♪ Are you sure you got ♪

1628
01:46:39,066 --> 01:46:42,703
♪ The room to spare inside? ♪

1629
01:46:44,238 --> 01:46:47,808
♪ Does your granny
always tell ya ♪

1630
01:46:47,842 --> 01:46:51,679
♪ That the old songs
are the best? ♪

1631
01:46:51,712 --> 01:46:54,849
♪ Then she's up
and rock-and-rolling ♪

1632
01:46:54,882 --> 01:46:57,151
♪ With the rest ♪

1633
01:46:57,184 --> 01:46:59,486
Hey, yo!
What's Gucci, squad fam?

1634
01:46:59,520 --> 01:47:02,523
It's the Bert Locker,
living the dream.

1635
01:47:02,556 --> 01:47:04,592
You know what? See this guy?
Dead as hell.

1636
01:47:04,625 --> 01:47:06,459
Santa's real, all right?

1637
01:47:06,493 --> 01:47:08,129
Don't end up
on the naughty list.

1638
01:47:08,162 --> 01:47:09,530
Do better.

1639
01:47:09,563 --> 01:47:11,799
Bert Lightstone out.

1640
01:47:11,832 --> 01:47:13,834
♪ So here it is ♪

1641
01:47:13,868 --> 01:47:15,670
♪ Merry Christmas ♪

1642
01:47:15,703 --> 01:47:20,107
♪ Everybody's having fun ♪

1643
01:47:20,141 --> 01:47:23,544
♪ Look to the future now ♪

1644
01:47:23,577 --> 01:47:29,850
♪ It's only just begun ♪

1645
01:47:29,884 --> 01:47:32,086
♪ So here it is ♪

1646
01:47:32,119 --> 01:47:34,088
♪ Merry Christmas ♪

1647
01:47:34,121 --> 01:47:37,091
♪ Everybody's having fun ♪

1648
01:47:37,124 --> 01:47:41,963
-♪ <i>It's Christmas!</i> ♪
-♪ Look to the future now ♪

1649
01:47:41,996 --> 01:47:49,737
♪ It's only just begun. ♪

1650
01:47:52,807 --> 01:47:54,575
♪ <i>Ding dong merrily on high</i> ♪

1651
01:47:54,608 --> 01:47:56,711
♪ Let's be good ♪

1652
01:47:56,744 --> 01:48:00,848
-♪ This coming yuletide ♪
-♪ <i>Ding dong verily the sky</i> ♪

1653
01:48:00,881 --> 01:48:03,117
♪ Or you'll see ♪

1654
01:48:03,150 --> 01:48:08,589
♪ Kris Kringle's cruel side ♪

1655
01:48:08,622 --> 01:48:11,759
♪ Santa's getting mad,
better not be bad ♪

1656
01:48:11,792 --> 01:48:14,795
♪ Gonna go to bed on time
this Christmas ♪

1657
01:48:14,829 --> 01:48:17,832
♪ We don't want to be
on that list ♪

1658
01:48:17,865 --> 01:48:20,868
-♪ Santa Claus is gonna get ♪
-♪ <i>Unhappy!</i> ♪

1659
01:48:20,901 --> 01:48:24,305
♪ He's told you once,
he's told you twice ♪

1660
01:48:24,338 --> 01:48:27,274
♪ Too much naughty,
not enough nice ♪

1661
01:48:27,308 --> 01:48:32,780
♪ Santa Claus has had enough
of Christmas ♪

1662
01:48:33,848 --> 01:48:36,817
♪ Where's the love
and where's the joy? ♪

1663
01:48:36,851 --> 01:48:39,920
♪ Always cash and never a toy ♪

1664
01:48:39,954 --> 01:48:45,292
♪ Santa Claus has had enough
of Christmas ♪

1665
01:48:45,326 --> 01:48:51,766
♪ Ah... ♪

1666
01:48:53,234 --> 01:48:55,136
♪ Santa's getting mad ♪

1667
01:48:55,169 --> 01:48:57,204
-♪ <i>Don't you make Santa crazy</i> ♪
-♪ Better not be bad ♪

1668
01:48:57,238 --> 01:48:59,940
-♪ Gonna go to bed on time
this Christmas ♪ -♪ <i>Baby</i> ♪

1669
01:48:59,974 --> 01:49:02,777
♪ We don't want to be
on that list ♪

1670
01:49:02,810 --> 01:49:06,180
-♪ Santa Claus is gonna get ♪
-♪ <i>Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho</i> ♪

1671
01:49:06,213 --> 01:49:09,316
♪ If you don't want ♪

1672
01:49:09,350 --> 01:49:12,620
♪ Coal this Christmas ♪

1673
01:49:12,653 --> 01:49:15,723
♪ Deck the halls
with boughs of holly ♪

1674
01:49:15,756 --> 01:49:18,826
♪ Make sure you keep
Santa jolly ♪

1675
01:49:18,859 --> 01:49:22,129
♪ Don't make his reindeer ♪

1676
01:49:22,163 --> 01:49:26,700
♪ Cause you some pain, dear ♪

1677
01:49:26,734 --> 01:49:29,837
♪ Santa's getting mad,
better not be bad ♪

1678
01:49:29,870 --> 01:49:33,007
♪ Gonna go to bed on time
this Christmas ♪

1679
01:49:33,040 --> 01:49:35,976
♪ We don't want to be
on that list ♪

1680
01:49:36,010 --> 01:49:39,313
-♪ Santa Claus is gonna get ♪
-♪ <i>Ooh-ooh...</i> ♪

1681
01:49:39,346 --> 01:49:42,149
♪ <i>Ooh-fa-la-la, ooh-fa-la-la</i> ♪

1682
01:49:42,183 --> 01:49:44,085
♪ <i>Ooh-fa-la-la</i> ♪

1683
01:49:44,118 --> 01:49:47,254
♪ Don't make him crazy ♪

1684
01:49:47,288 --> 01:49:48,789
♪ <i>Ooh-fa-la-la</i> ♪

1685
01:49:48,823 --> 01:49:51,892
♪ <i>Ooh-fa-la-la, ooh-fa-la-la</i> ♪

1686
01:49:51,926 --> 01:49:54,962
♪ <i>Ooh-fa-la-la,</i>
<i>ooh-fa-la-la</i> ♪

1687
01:49:54,995 --> 01:49:58,265
♪ <i>Ooh-fa-la-la, ooh-fa-la-la</i> ♪

1688
01:49:58,299 --> 01:50:01,235
♪ <i>Ooh-fa-la-la,</i>
<i>ooh-fa-la-la</i> ♪

1689
01:50:01,268 --> 01:50:03,237
♪ <i>Ooh-fa-la-la</i> ♪

1690
01:50:03,270 --> 01:50:06,240
♪ Hark, the herald angels sing ♪

1691
01:50:06,273 --> 01:50:08,909
♪ Dashing through the snow ♪

1692
01:50:08,943 --> 01:50:10,744
♪ On the first day
of Christmas ♪

1693
01:50:10,778 --> 01:50:12,379
♪ My true love gave to me ♪

1694
01:50:12,413 --> 01:50:15,182
♪ Good King Wenceslas
looked out ♪

1695
01:50:15,216 --> 01:50:17,985
♪ On the Feast of Stephen ♪

1696
01:50:18,018 --> 01:50:21,055
♪ Jingle bells. ♪

1697
01:50:43,878 --> 01:50:46,714
♪ Ding dong merrily on high ♪

1698
01:50:46,747 --> 01:50:49,950
♪ In heaven,
the bells are ringing ♪

1699
01:51:09,370 --> 01:51:17,444
♪ Glo-o-o-oria ♪

1700
01:51:17,478 --> 01:51:19,780
♪ Hosanna ♪

1701
01:51:19,813 --> 01:51:27,721
♪ In excelsis. ♪